Hollywood Tonight
by LerDan
Summary: COMPLETE!Hermione leaves the Wizarding world many years later after the battle, why? and when Remus and Sirius find her, what will happen to her? Will she go back to her world, or stay in the Muggle world, staying as she is now; a strip-dancer and more?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello. Long time no see and no story eh? Ok, there was a one-shot, but that doesn't count, it was a moment impulse of writing it. Anyway, I recall that you loved my Rennervate! and some of you didn't, but it's fine, I'm cool with it, after all we can't all think the same way, right? Right._

_I hope you read the summary and familiar about the concept of this story, if not then read it again._  
><em> This story is AU and has lots of OOC'ness in it and at some points OC too. The main OOC character is Hermione.<em>

_I don't think that there will be lots of talk about emotions and stuff; it's rough and straight to the point._

_I'd like to receive every kind of reviews; I'm ready to get flames(I know that I have LOTS OF HATERS!), and constructive criticism will be appreciative, but I know what I'm writing and I don't think that I will change the plot-line of the story. I already wrote 12 chapters, I don't know how much long it will be, but not that boring long._

_I had too much of writer's block, and at some points in chapters you can point out when I had a block, for that I'm sorry._

_If you won't like anything that I might be going on in the story, I don't really care. You've been warned beforehand…_

_**Pairs**: the main couple is Hermione and Remus, at some point Remus and Tonks, we will have Sirius and OC (her name is Kate), there's DRARRY too! *heart* maybe there won't be any Weaselys._

_**WARNINGS**: sex, pole/lap dancing, oral sweetness, pain, mentions of violent acts._  
><em> I don't know if I'll let you know when will be the sex scenes in the story, but you've been warned for now, too.<em>

_**Music**: I used lots of music for this story, at some chapters I'll let you know what music you'll have to listen and read some places while listening to it, so you'll get the picture and the experience of it is just plain awesome._

_At some point in the story you'll stumble upon this sign **(X)** it's the sign where you have to play the music. The said music is: Peaches-Operate._

_If you don't like my friend's Beta work, I don't really care for it too._

_What else? I think that's it :)_

_Now read, review and enjoy…_

**Hollywood Tonight**

**Prologue:**

She couldn't help but to stare at him…again.

It happened a lot when they were together…she liked just sitting right across from him and stare at his face, as he talked to one of his friends, mostly Sirius, and laughed softly, or just to watch him. His eyes would sparkle when he talked about the things that he most liked; books, or sweets. She knew him by her heart already. She liked the way he formed some words, making them to last a bit longer, and how his mouth would form an 'o' if he heard the latest news. And she knew the slight frown of his lips would only mean a slight discomfort; which was slowly forming on his lips as he turned his head to the side and saw a pink haired witch come and sat at his right side and slipped an arm to his and pecked on his cheek. He threw her a soft smile, though it didn't reach his eyes and she leaned up and whispered something into his ear, he gave a small nod and she smiled brightly up at him. He cleared his throat and all the talking stopped immediately. She knew that whatever he would tell would do no good and especially to her.

"Me and Dora would like to tell you something…important," he said, his voice a tad bit tense, but it seemed that only she could point it out. He cleared his throat again and took Tonks' hand in his, and said, "We decided to get married."

She felt like Nearly Headless Nick decided to take a small trip in her body, and decided to squeeze her heart in his way before leaving her. She felt like her breath had left her all at once, leaving her breathless. She could feel all eyes were on her, as she staggered up from her seat from the table, excused herself, and stumbled out of the dining room. Her eyes and mouth open in shock as the news finally sunk in and her shaking hands made their way to her round belly as she thought of the baby that was growing, steadily, as she made her way towards the front door to get away from there. Why and how did she come to this…mess?

**Chapter 1:**

_A year before:_

The music was as loud as it could've been. It was casual Friday for the strip club in the suburban of Muggle London. _Pulse;_ that was the name of the club that few people knew about, which was fine by the owner of the club, who was a lovely lady with short curly hair; she was like a mother to all her dancers, some of them were orphans and she always kept a very strong eye on them. At least she tried to, but she was relaxed when her favorite and most lovely and beautiful dancers were working for the night. They were like her success to the money. They knew what to do, though all four of them had some problems, that she couldn't help them with. But she was there, whenever they needed her; she was never nosy about it, she respected them too much.

First of the girls' was a 36-years-old blond haired girl with ocean blue colored eyes, Emma, a woman to be more specific, though she hated when someone told her she is a 'woman', she liked being referred to 'girl' title still, she had a strong Russian accent, that everyone loved. Her friends called her a 'sexaholic', because she liked to have sex all day and night long, with every genre that could possibly pass your mind. She was bisexual and she never denied it. She was one of the most sexy pole dancers anyone would dream to watch. She had the body of a mermaid.

That's why the second girl, 32, black hair and black lifeless eyes, Kate, loved her friend so much. She never backed down from her word, and she was always there for her, whenever she needed Emma. Kate was a single mother, who had the loveliest daughter with the same black hair as her mother had, her name was Catherine. Though she was produced from a very vile man, who raped her mother without even thinking of it twice, she had the most beautiful creature of the world. And Kate couldn't ask for more gifts from God; she considered Kate as a blessing for her. She tried not to dance much on stage; she was more of a 'blow-job'-ist and she was the one who would point out her next 'victim'.

Then came the brunette of the four friends, a 24-years-old Sofia, loved to be called as Sofa, she was the most…problematic of them all, because she was drug addict and she never listened to anyone. It was like she only had ears for her boyfriend, who provided her with all sorts of drugs and manipulated her thoughts with all the lovey-dovey nonsense, and she blindly believed him. But her friends knew better then to trust that guy, they tried to make Sofa leave him, but being an addict it was a hard thing to do. He was the only one who was willing to give her whatever, and whenever, she wanted to get high. Her friends couldn't stop her. She was a dancer too, though she only danced twice a week, sometimes thrice, whenever she had mood to do it.

The fourth member of the group was non-other than Hermione, 28 years old, brown haired with sweet and kind chocolate brown eyed Hermione that everyone knew and loved. She was not the same Hermione that 'everyone' knew. She has been changed a lot. She wasn't the same bossy and bookworm Granger. She was now a strip-dancer in the Pulse club, the most famous and most wanted dancer. She was the star of the club, though she never really liked the attention she got, that's why whenever she performed she always wore a mask on her face; covering half of it. But she also gave a private lap dance, and sometimes she would take off the mask; they'd give a tip for it, sometimes that one tip would be enough for her to last 4 days of living. It wasn't the only work she did. She and Kate worked at the café, The Cup. She worked 4 days a week there and at nights at the strip-club.

She loved her life now, and never thought of the life that she left behind when she decided to come and live in Muggle London. She was never ashamed of being a Muggle-Born, and now she lived as a real Muggle, without a hint of magic.

As they expected the club was ablaze. Everyone drunk and whistled for the dancers who were performing; Emma was the next one to perform. When she walked down the stage to the main area where the pole was, she would throw some seductive grins here and there, mark her, or sometimes Kate's, next victims and she would start to dance with a shout, exciting her audience. She was her usual self, easy going, laughing on each turn. Throw her head back and moan if she wanted to. Hermione sat at the bar, away from everyone's eye, a small smile on her lips as she watched her friend entertaining all men that could meet her eye.

"Hermione," she heard her boss call her and she turned and walked towards her. "A private dance for you, my dear and they paid loads. I think they were rich, well his friend was rich. Anyways, this guy is a bit older, then your usual and has some scars on his face, but don't worry, he will tip you. I'm sure of it. Just…well, you know what to do. Now off with you."

She didn't even let Hermione say a world when she shoved her to the small dressing room that would then led her to the private room. Hermione shook her head then took deep calming breaths and started to get ready. She wore the shortest of purple skirt anyone ever would lay an eye on, her heels were high, and her tank top only covered her breasts. She gave her a one over look and grabbed her mask, placed it on her face, messed her hair a bit and opened the door to the lovely dark room.

The man, for whom she was going to perform, was sitting at the far end of the room, hidden by shadows, she couldn't see his face, but she was sure that the man was old because she saw how worned out his jeans were. She pursued her lips and walked into the room, she saw the man lean forward a bit, but she still couldn't see his face. She bit her lip and walked towards the stereo.

"What kind do you want?"

"Excuse me?" his voice a bit husky, already? She didn't do a thing to the man and he was already turned on. Nice. If he was handsome she would send him to Kate, she could take care of him, though she would get a lot of earful from her later.

"Do you want it slow, fast or seductive or whatever?"

"I-I don't know, whatever you would want," the man replied. Hermione turned her back on him and rolled the list of songs trying to find something relaxing and exciting. "I really don't know what you'll do to me, and I didn't want to come here, but my friend insisted on me to be a good friend and tag along with him… " the man still talked, as Hermione dimmed the light and gave purple and red lights to the room. His voice was familiar to her, but she couldn't point it out who he was.

She took the remote control and pressed play. _**(X)**_ The music started, the bass was booming loudly, she smiled crookedly at him as she slowly walked towards him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, a sign for him to relax. As he leaned back, she let her hands to trail down to his thighs, she moved her hips to the music, and whipped her head around, letting her hair to swing around. She let her left hand to move up to his lips and ran a finger on it, they were soft, definitely not that old man's.

She slowly straddled his hips, the man's arms were now stretched by the head of the wall couch, and he was relaxed. She didn't sit on his lap, merely an inch away from his hard erection, it was already hard, nice, and this would be fun. She slowly started to move her hips in round motions. Her hands started to rub her naked waist in a seductive way, and made their way towards her covered breasts, she rubbed them slowly, her nipples already peeking out from her tank top, and let her hands wander up to her neck then hair, grabbing them up, her hips still making the same round motions. She let a small moan leave her, and heard the man take a small intake of breath, and when he breathed again, it was ragged. She smirked to herself when she saw the man's fingers curling into a knuckle, as he tried to prevent him from grabbing her. After all there was a sign saying that he couldn't touch the dancer. No physical contact, at all. Not when the dancer let the customers touch her, which wasn't going to be soon.

As the music started to take a beat up she moved her hips a bit faster. Her hands made their way towards him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned in a bit. He had a sweet breath, she liked it. She moved an inch towards him and whispered to him. "You like it?" the man only nodded, and Hermione heard him swallow. "No talking? No sounds at all…mmm…" she hummed and leaned a bit closer to his ear shell and breathed in, "I wonder if you'll make a noise if I would suck you off, or let you touch me and grind up at me, to try to release some of _this_," she sat hard on his erection, and was satisfied when he let out a small whimper, his knuckles turning white, breathing hard. "Sweet juices," she finished her small talk and started to dance again for him.

"Ta-take off your mask, please," the man said breathlessly.

Hermione chuckled deep down in her throat and moved her face towards his', her lips grazing his when she talked, "You do know the rules, mister. You have to tip me, loads, if you want to see my sweet little face."

"O-Of course, excuse me," he grabbed her by her waist, his hands so warm, that Hermione thought as if they were on fire, and planted her on the tips of his knees. He shuffled with his pockets and handed out her rolls of dollars. She cocked an eyebrow up, looked at his', she assumed, face and shrugged. She put the money at the waist band of her skirt and started to take off her mask. When she took it off the man yelped and pushed her away from him. Hermione landed on her back with an 'oomf' and she was ready to yell at him when she heard him talking.

"This…I…Oh my…this is ridiculous," the man said and leaned forward on his hips, cradling his face in his hand. She knew that hands, she knew that hair, she knew that forehead. Hermione froze. She now understood why she thought she knew that voice too.

It was, "Remus…"


	2. Chapter 2

_well, that went well...  
>you know what to do; only to read, review and enjoy...<br>_

**Hollywood Tonight**

**Chapter 2:**

His head snapped up when she called his name. He was sure that he was dead, because this could not be the woman that he had known years ago. Not the Hermione he knew and once taught defensive spells. This one was more beautiful, her hair was more tamed, and she was wearing clothes that the Hermione he knew would never even give a second glance to. He couldn't help it as his eyes roamed over the lovely body curves that the woman had, who was still sitting at the floor. Her eyes were wide with shock, and she was breathing hard, her cheeks were a bit flushed. When he realized that he was still staring at her, he blinked couple of times and stood up reaching a hand to help her to her feet.

"I'm sorry, I…I never shove women off me, I just thought I knew you from somewhere," said Remus, and blushed scarlet as the woman's skirt rode up a bit, and he could get a glimpse of her small and round bum. "But…how did you know my name? I mean the woman I knew, knows my name, and you are so much alike. I just…" he trailed off.

"Remus," she said, "I think the woman you are talking about is the real me. I'm Hermione."

His eyes widened in shock and he was left speechless. "Her…Hermione? You've got to be kidding me!" groaned Remus and plopped down on the couch, cradling his face in his hands once again. Hermione grimaced a bit and sat beside him, waiting for him to come around. "But…how…when…?" He looked sideways at her and murmured. "You've changed a lot, you do know that right?"

Hermione nodded and said. "I know."

"I…God…I don't even know what to say? This is so embarrassing!" he chuckled and looked down at the floor.

"Why is it embarrassing?"

"Because I was turned on by my former student, who gave me a…mind blowing lap dance," he blushed and looked at her blank face. "I mean, I never thought you'd be…"

Hemione was silent and her face was the careful mask of blankness. Inside she was a mess. Someone from her past life found her, someone close to her found her to be more specific. She wasn't stupid as to assume that she would never meet anyone from her past. What was she to do? Call a bodyguard and throw him and his friend out of the club and never let them come here or she could just talk to him? Explain everything to him?

"This shouldn't have happened," Hermione murmured and run a hand through her hair.

Remus chuckled, not looking at her, and said, "No it shouldn't, but to look at the bright side of this all, I've found you. And now it's all awkward and all."

"I have never gone."

"What do you mean?" asked Remus, his voice puzzled.

She looked at his profile and said carefully, "Someone knew where I was, all these years."

"And who might that someone be?"

"It doesn't matter. And I think your time is up," she said and moved up from the couch. Remus touched her hand and she looked down at his face.

"I think we should meet, maybe tomorrow, I don't know. Please, Hermione. Let's meet tomorrow or tonight when you'll finish your work. We should talk; I need to know what happened to you all these years, because I know that I can't sleep tonight. I just need to know"

As she looked at his pleading face she couldn't say no to him, so she only nodded. He smiled brilliantly at her and squeezed her hand in affection. Hermione smiled softly at him, grabbed her mask and left the room. She went straight to her private dressing room and slammed the door shut behind her. She breathed heavily as she made her way towards her make-up desk sat at the chair and looked at her face in the mirror. They had found her, to be more specific he had found her, but she was sure that he didn't know that she worked here, but with who did he came here tonight? Was it Sirius? Maybe it was, she knew how close the two of them were, but that was not the point of her thoughts. She had other things to think about now, like Remus wanted to meet with her to talk, but about what? She was not going to tell him all of her secrets, more specifically why she left the world she'd fought for all those years back. She wasn't ready to talk about it, not yet. She could just try to stir off the conversation from that disturbing subject. She cleaned off her make up and started to change. She grabbed her red hoody and her old tattered jeans, and wore her sneakers. She made her hair into a messy bun, and grabbed her backpack. Now she was not the dancer of the club, she was an average girl, who looked like she didn't have lots of money.

As she walked out of her dressing room, she bumped into Sofa. She looked like hell, she always looked like hell.

"Sofa, you look like a shit," commented Hermione and helped her to her private dressing room.

"You are quiet dashing yourself too," slurred Sofa and plopped on her couch, curling into a ball and wanting nothing else but to sleep.

"You have to perform tonight, and I have to go. Where is Emma or Kate?"

"Kate is sucking someone's brains out and Emma is crashing someone's balls off," she mumbled and tried to sit up, but failed miserably. "I shouldn't had so much tonight," she mumbled and looked at Hermione, her eyes dull and lifeless. "But I can't deny the feelings that I felt tonight, my boyfriend knew what he was doing."

Hermione grimaced, as she listened to her friend talk about that peace of an ass. She rummaged into the closet and came up with some performing clothes for Sofa to wear. "Here," she chucked them at her and walked towards the coffee stander on the side of the room. She made a strong one and gave it to her. Sofa tried to glare at Hermione, but seeing the determined expression on her face, she didn't uttered a single word as she drunk her coffee and staggered up to a standing position and started to get dressed, the both of them ignoring Sofa's nude body. After all, they danced and it wasn't that hard for them to be like this with each other. Hermione helped her to get dressed, gave her a soft make up touches. As she was applying some lipstick on Sofa's lips, she spoke. "You know Hermy."

"hmm…?"

"You could've been a really great mom," she said, "I'm really sorry for what had happened to you, I think it shouldn't have happened…"

"You're ready," Hermione said loudly and turned around, grabbed her bag from the floor and walked out of the room. Sofa only sighed and looked at herself in the mirror, slapping her mentally for her big mouth.

Hermione made her way towards their boss and told her that she had to go now, it was 10 minutes till she would finish her job, she only waved her hand dismissively and Hermione took that as a 'get out of here' sign. She walked out of the club and saw that Remus was waiting for her, leaning against the streetlights' pole. When he saw her walking towards him, he straightened up and met her half-way.

"Hey," he greeted her, and she only smiled at him. "So, where to?"

"There's a small night café at the corner of the main street, you want to go there?"

"Come on," he said and started walking the way Hermione indicated the café was. They were mostly silent as they walked towards the café, they would bump into each other sometime and they would murmur an apology. Eventually they made it, and Remus held the door for Hermione, who smiled at him and walked inside. As she predicted the café was mostly occupied with two or three late night strollers.

Hermione grabbed Remus by his wrist and stirred him towards the back of the café. They sat at the table for two, facing each other. The waitress came to them and offered the special cake for the night, and the both of them took it, and ordered cappuccino. As they waited for the orders to come, Remus was watching her; she had changed. He couldn't even believe that she was the same Hermione. And he told her this.

"I still can't believe it's you, Hermione. I mean, you've changed. What did you do to yourself?"

"Besides getting loads of piercings here and there, and having some small tattoos on my body, I can safely say that I haven't changed at all."

"Haven't change?"

"Yes. I mean, ok alright, I'll give you this one that I wear different clothes and I do things…differently now, but I'm still the same. What do you see that you think that changed in me?"

As Remus was about to answer her, the waitress came and placed their cakes and two cappuccinos in front of them, bade them a good night and walked away. "You ask me what has been changed? Really, Granger, I would think that you'd be more…smart then to deny this."

"Wh-?"

"But of course you had to deny it. I mean, I knew the woman who would always tell the truth whenever she would get the chance to talk, but the 'you' now is a whole new story. You now…dance, Hermione. Don't get me wrong, you dance brilliantly, and I received one by myself a few minutes ago. I just can't explain what I'm feeling right now."

"Ok, the Hermione, you know, is dead, this is the real Hermione, this is the real me. And I'm not going to change one bit and I'm not going to come back to the world that I have left all those years ago," Hermione hissed the last part to him and took a sip from her coffee.

"Why? What happened? Why did you suddenly left us and never told any of us where you gone to?" said Remus, his voice soft and a bit understanding. "We all need a sometime alone from all of that mess, but you…whatever you did were good to not let us find you. But now I did and I want some explanations. Do you even know what you did to us? To me?"

"To you?"

"Yes, to me. Because you were one of the first people, besides my time as a Marauder, who accepted me the way I was. You would always be there for me whenever I needed a friend after the full moon. Yes, I know I still have Sirius, but Hermione, come on. You know that a man sometimes would need a small woman's touch."

"I never thought of it that way, but I had to leave, and I'm not going to tell you why I left. Not now," when she saw a small hurt crossing his green eyes, she added quickly, "maybe later, I don't know, but not now, I'm not ready for it."

"Why?" Remus asked softly, though he was sure that he wasn't going to get the answers he was aiming for, so he wasn't as surprised when she shook her head and swallowed.

"No, don't ask questions, Remy, not now. I will tell you when I'll be ready."

Something seemed to stir inside his chest when she used his old nickname, that only his close friends once called him, before he became Moony. He liked hearing her calling him by his nickname.

"I truly missed you Hermione."

Hermione smiled softly at his sincere confession. "I missed you too Remy. I'm still shocked that you've found me, but I think it was my time to get back to life? I don't know."

"It's nice talking to you. I should thank Sirius, because he was the one to get me out of my cottage tonight. He told me that he needed a good wank and he wanted his friend to be with him, so I being a good friend tagged along with him," he smiled at the memory Sirius as he pleaded with him.

"I hope he went to Kate, because she's brilliant, though she had had a hard life, but she's coping, slowly, with it. I love my friends here."

"You work with them?"

"Yes, I have two more friends Emma and Sofa. Emma is our oldest 'girl' of the group, though she would kill us if we referred her anything other than a girl, she'd kill me now if she knew I called her old. She's something else entirely," she smiled and continued, "and the most problematic of them all is Sofa. She uses drugs."

"That's…" Remus trailed off, frowned and said nothing.

"Yeah, but I'm there for my friends. We all love each other, though to tell you the truth," she leaned in a bit and whispered, "I love Kate the most."

Remus smiled and whispered back, their faces inches away. "Why?"

"Because she has the most beautiful daughter in the world; her name is Catherine. She is a two-year-old lovely girl."

"You love kids?"

"Yes," Hermione answered simply and moved back, leaning against the back of her chair, sipping her coffee casually. Remus knew that Hermione had lots of secrets, he could feel it, and he couldn't wait to start to unfold them all, to start and know the new Hermione. He was sure that he would like this Hermione more, than the last one.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hermione's friends giving her a 'small' advice…_

_Enjoy…_

**Chapter 3:**

"So, where did you vanish last night?" asked Kate as she sipped her morning coffee. The four friends were sitting in the same café as Hermione and Remus had been sitting and chatting the night before. Now she sat with her friends in the morning, their usual way for breakfast, and now they were investigating where Hermione had gone the previous night.

"I saw one of my…friends, and we just came here and talked. That's it." Hermione answered truthfully.

"Just talked?" asked Emma.

"Yes, just talked."

"hm..." said Emma, and sipped her coffee.

"What 'hm'? Don't give me an 'hm'. He was my professor when I was at school," Hermione said to Emma and cut her pancake, chewing it and waving her fork in the air and talking. "And he's old."

"Where did you meet him?" asked Kate.

"I lap danced him."

At that moment Sofa spilled out her coffee all over the table and then spluttered out, "You gave a lap dance to your professor?"

"Yes," Hermione answered calmly. Sofa was acting…odd.

"And you didn't do anything to him after that?" she exclaimed loudly.

Ah now Hermione understood why she was like that. Whenever Hermione performed in private, if she wanted to, she would give them a hand-job or something and now when her friends knew she hadn't helped the poor guy they were shocked.

"No I didn't do anything to him, because he was my professor."

Emma mumbled something saying something that suspiciously sounded like 'well, he _was_ your professor.'

"Emma!" Hermione cried out in a shock. "How can you even consider that thought? It's…it's…"

"Hot," said Kate, and the other two grinned at her.

"Wh-What?" spluttered Hermione.

"I said, it's hot," Kate answered simply and ate her eggs.

Hermione looked at her friends in a shock. They looked so innocently sweet and cute, that Hermione narrowed her eyes at them thinking that there was something going on here and they weren't telling her.

"Ok, spill," she said and waited for them to talk.

It was Emma, no surprise there that talked first. "We think," Kate kicked her shin and she hissed at her; her Russian accent thickening from the pain of her leg. "Fine. _I_ think that you didn't have a descent shag like from the day all the shit happened to you."

"Yes, and it's starting to boil inside you, all the stress and hormones and all that. You need to shag," as if an afterthought Sofa added, "and quick." Kate only nodded her head in agreement.

"Are you out of your minds? All the three of you? I can't go and have sex with my ex-professor."

"But he was a looker." Emma said simply.

"How do you know what he looked like?"

"Because, I was performing when he and his handsome friend came in," said Emma and sipped her tea.

"Maybe it was the guy that you gave a mouth, Kate," said Sofa and threw her head back in a tired way.

"Did he tell you what his name is?" asked Hermione now rounding on Kate.

"He was serious," said Kate thoughtfully.

"It's not serious, it's Sirius," corrected Hermione automatically and clapped a hand to her mouth, eyes wide in shock. There was a crashing sound and Sofa emerged from under the table.

"Sorry," she mumbled and looked at Hermione as if she did something to her to fall off the chair.

"You know his friend too? Nice," said Emma as she helped Sofa to get everything right in order.

"I…oh guys, I hate you all," she groaned, not meaning it. She sighed and said, "I knew both of them when I was only 13. He was my professor and Sirius was his best friend from school and he is an ex-convict. I helped Sirius escape from the law, and then some time later he got a trial and he was innocent, well from the start he was innocent, me and one of my best friends helped him for his trail and well, he is a free man. Anyways, and _him_," Hermione sighed again, "well, he have some…problems, and Sirius was always there for him, sometime I was there for him, helping him out with his…stuff."

"And you can't tell us about his problem, because…?" Sofa trailed off and quirked up an eyebrow.

Kate answered instead of Hermione. "Because, it is one of her 'secrets' that we shouldn't know about, let her breath, guys." She turned towards Hermione and asked, "Now, tell me about Sirius. He was, he is, roguishly handsome and well he was really nice to me, and, you know, that I don't get any more of that kind of hot and handsome guys these days."

Hermione looked at her sympathetically, and then sighed, again. "Well, I don't know what to say, he is someone that you have to know, by yourself. I can't just sit and tell you about him, because I don't even know him properly."

"Well, tell us about your professor. What's his name, anyway?" asked Emma and Sofa thumped her head on the table, it was as normal for them, as the weather changing outside.

"His name is Remus, and when I say he is old, I mean that he is really, really old."

"How old?" came Sofa's muffled question.

"Between me and him it's 19 years difference."

There was a collective 'hmm' from the three of them. Hermione sat and waited for some sort of a reaction from them, but none came. She was so used to her friends telling her this and that, but this kind of reactions unnerved her. It was like they were plotting something, or she was just paranoid about that.

"Well, I have to go, yoga and all, we'll see you tonight. You work, right?" asked Emma, as she pulled on her coat, Sofa with a grunt followed suit. She was tired and she wanted to sleep.

"Yes, we'll meet with you at the club tonight," said Hermione, taking a bite from her pancake. Kate only nodded her mouth full of her eggs.

"Ok then," Emma and Sofa bade them goodbye and walked out of the café.

"Now, it's just the two of us," said Kate and smiled at Hermione.

She liked this woman; she could be so understanding sometimes, that she reminded her of her mother. Hermione swallowed hard and smiled at her. "How is Catherine?"

"She's good, at mums'," she smiled at Hermione. "Sometimes I get tired of her and send her there."

"She's a beauty," said Hermione and sipped her coffee.

"Yeah, she is…" murmured Kate and her lifeless eyes drifted off. She shook her head and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "I love her; don't get me wrong, but sometimes when I look at her…she's so like her dad, in some ways that I can't describe. But then again, she's mine, my precious little girl, I would die for her." Hermione understood her only too well.

The café's door tingled and in walked two men; one of them roguishly handsome with playful blue eyes, the other man a bit geeky, with haunted and confused green eyes. The two men that walked had some kind of magic into them that grabbed everyone's attention, even some men turned around to watch them, as they walked in and started to find a comfortable place to sit and have a tea or something. That's when they spotted the bushy haired and a black haired women sitting together and chatting their morning's away. The handsome man turned to his friend and pointed to the women, his geeky friend gave a small nod with a sigh. The both of them walked towards the women, and the handsome one couldn't help but say, loudly. "If it isn't the beautiful and famous; Hermione Granger."

Hermione froze in a mid-talk, she knew that voice; with a small smile she turned around and saw Sirius and Remus standing right behind her. With a squeal of delight she stood up and hugged Sirius close to her, the man returned the hug with a bark-like laughter.

"Oh, Sirius, I've missed you!" and she really did miss this man. She pulled back and grabbed his face in her hands looking at his face. "You haven't changed a bit," she commented. "Not a single white hair, which is good."

Sirius, with a small grin on his face, did the same to Hermione, grabbing her face in his hands looking at her. "Well, can't tell the same about you Granger. You've changed, what you did to yourself, I mean," he took a step back and looked at her body, his eye roaming around her, he whistled low and said "look at you. Nice body." There was a slight clearing of throat and the both of them looked at Remus, who was a bit red in the face.

"Hey, Remus," greeted Hermione and hugged him too. His arms tightened a bit on her waist, and Hermione liked the feeling. For the first time in years, Hermione blushed and pulled back. "Sorry, can't make a compliment to you, after all we talked yesterday."

Before Remus could reply, Sirius popped in, "Oh, I know all about your _talk_." The way he said that word, the both of them turned bright red.

"Shut up," Hermione mumbled, and then sighed, rubbing her forehead, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. "Uhm…do you want to join me and my friend here?" Hermione asked them and they just looked at each other shrugged and sat at the seat opposite the two women.

Sirius looked at Kate in the eye then looked at Hermione waiting for her to talk. Hermione looked at Sirius with a blank expression, then her lips formed an 'o' and she awkwardly cleared her throat. "Uhm…this is Kate, my best friend. Kate, this is Remus," Kate's lips quirked upright but she hid her smile into her cup. "And this is Sirius, you already know him."

'mhm' came Kate's reply and they fell into an awkward silence. The waitress came and took the men's orders and after 15 minutes of silence, Sirius finally started talking.

"What have you been up to Hermione? I mean, the last time we saw you, you were the bookworm we all knew, but now…" he trailed off and whistled again.

"Well, I changed…" she answered simply and in a tone that meant that she wasn't going to talk about this, even if the hell broke loss. And they started chatting about this and that, Kate would talk occasionally with Sirius and he would answer her questions in a way that even Hermione was starting to feel a bit…dizzy, from his roguish smile and quirkiness. She could feel Remus looking at her, but she only looked at Sirius. It was a bit disturbing, having Remus to look at her like that. A small naughty part of her was thrilled for the attention, a small part was a bit terrified (because him being her ex-professor) and another small part was grateful that her other two friends weren't with her; she was sure they wouldn't let the opportunity pass them to tease the hell out of her and Remus and manipulate their thoughts.

She turned her head hesitantly to the side and instantly her eyes locked with Remus' green eyes. His eyes showed the life he had lived; they were haunted and they were full of sorrow. She saw sadness in them, loneliness, and something that seemed right in front of her, but she couldn't really point it out. She didn't like not knowing things she was interested in.

She could hear Kate and Sirius talk with each other; occasional giggles would erupt from Kate, because of Sirius' good humor. But she didn't give them a second thought; she was captivated by another interesting thing. Remus shifted a bit in his seat and Hermione's eye snapped to the left side of his cheek. There was a new scar she had never seen before. Her brows furrowed a bit. She thought back a few days previously and now understood the new scarring. Full Moon. She was sure, that they came to her right after Remus recovered from his 'exciting' transformation. Her eyes moved from his cheek to his beautifully lined nose and back to his eyes. She didn't know what captivated her most in his eyes, but she couldn't help herself as she stared at him. Her eyes started to roam around his face once more; if you removed the scars from his face (no, she liked the scars), and gave him something descent to wear (she likes the way he dresses) he would look like an old model, who had an exciting childhood.

Remus' childhood wasn't exciting, as much as Hermione knew. He was a kid when Greyback turned him, and since then his life was all fucked up. But in school everything was different, he had his friends James and Sirius (Hermione would never think of Pettigrew as their friend) to be there for him when he would transform from a normal, caring and kind Remus into a monster. Hermione shook her head mentally and continued her Remus-watching game. She was sure that under all of those layers of clothing he had a nice, well-built body; she liked the way his neck would stretch when he would turn around and look at his surroundings, like he was doing now. Her eyes travelled up from his neck to his chin and then to his lips. There were the most captivating things, next to his eyes. He took a sip from his tea and then licked his lips a bit. Hermione inwardly shivered and then she was snapped back to reality when she realized that Kate asked her something and she didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"Uhm…I'm sorry, what?" she asked a bit confused.

"I said we have to go. We are going to be late for work if we won't hurry now," said Kate impatiently, as she adjusted her bag.

Hermione shook her head lightly, glanced at Remus who was rather interested in his coffee and stood up. Both men flew to their feet, and Hermione said. "It was nice meeting you guys, I hope we'll meet again." Kate started talking to Sirius again, arranging something; Hermione tugged at Kate's arm and was finally going to start walking when she heard his voice call her name softly. She halted and looked back to Reamus' face.

"Hermione, can you give me your cell-phone number, please? I have one of those too…uhm…I'd want to have your number, I mean if you'd want to give it to me, I mean, if you don't want to, it's fine, I'll understand. I know how busy you are and all, but I'd want to talk to you about some stuff. And I tell you if-" but he was cut short when Hermione clapped a hand to his mouth.

Hermione mock-frowned at him and muttered, "And all of you thought I was the one who talked much," she looked at Remus' bright red face, and smiled a bit. "Ok, you can have my number," Remus sighed in relief and gave her his cell, so she could write her number in it.

As they walked out of the café, finally, Hermione thought that her friends were right. She could have some fun with Remus, as long as it didn't end up badly. She couldn't handle another heartbreak…not yet.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hermione is having a small breakdown..._

**Chapter 4:**

"They have found me!" Hermione exclaimed as her best friend, for more than 15 years opened the door of his apartment.

"Who found you?" asked Harry, and moved aside as Hermione shoved her way into his home. "Come in," he said sarcastically and slammed the door shut. He walked into his living-room to find Hermione pacing and muttering to herself like a crazy banshee. Harry sighed tiredly and plopped down on his couch and waited for her friend to calm her anger, he knew she'd talk when she'll be ready so he just stretched and waited.

Hermione was a wreck. She knew that she had no reason to be like this, she knew that someday the meeting with someone from her past would happen. But she couldn't help but feel a bit worried about this, because the two men were going to question her. She slumped down beside Harry, with a huff, and crossed her arms under her breasts.

"They are going to question me," voiced out Hermione her thoughts. "I know they will."

"Can you please tell me who are 'they'?" asked Harry a bit impatiently.

"Remus and Sirius," mumbled Hermione.

"They did not!" said Harry with a shock.

"Yes they did. That's not the worst part, well besides the whole questioning thing," said Hermione and sighed, suddenly feeling tired from all of the thinking.

"There's worse than that?"

"I lap-danced for Remus," Harry started to cough on his own breath. "I didn't know it was him, because you've seen how dark those rooms are, and I just pounced myself on him, I was _this_ close, to ask him to lean forward so I could see his face and he asked me to remove my mask. He paid me a lot, and I had to remove it. And then he pushed me away." At Harry's incredulous face, she added, "He said that he had never pushed away women, I just caught him by surprise. But…" she trailed off, as she remembered the feeling of his body pressed to hers, feeling him between her thighs, with a sigh she threw her head back, to the back of the couch and closed her eyes, "he was so excited. I was ready to take him right there and then, because like my friends tell me, I need to get laid. And Harry, he is old. He'd knew what to do with me, even though at first I didn't know who he was, even if I found out about it later, when everything was finished…I wouldn't feel any kind of regret; none at all. But now that I know it's him, it's a bit…I don't know, embarrassing?" asked Hermione and turned to look at Harry, finding him looking at her with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Can I ask you a question?" asked Harry, cocking his head to the side.

"Shoot," said Hermione and got a bit comfortable on the couch, tucking her feet under her bum and bodily facing Harry.

"Why do you give a shit?"

"Excuse me?" that question threw Hermione off guard.

"I asked; why you give a shit?" repeated Harry and waited for Hermione to answer. Silence. Harry sighed and said. "I mean, you have never made a fuss over the whole 'getting it off' thing. I know you don't shag anymore. But you give a blow or hand-job if a man wants to. Now you are rumbling on and on about how it would've been embarrassing to have a go on Remus. I mean alright, it would be awkward after that, but why do you think so much about it?"

"I…really don't know," and she didn't know why she was thinking about this whole Remus issue. "Is it possible that I still have something for him, Harry?"

"I don't know Herms, I mean, you were really serious about him in our 5th year," said Harry then smiled at the particular memory. "Remember the Valentine's Day? You were seriously considering sending him a card, confessing your feelings to him."

"Yeah," Hermione smiled at the memory and scooted closer to Harry, he in his turn, stretched his legs, and Hermione lay on his side, he wrapped an arm around her, and they cuddled together. Hermione liked being with Harry, he was so easy going, he would take anything you'd tell him calmly. Even if Hermione told him she had sex with Remus he would pat her shoulder and congratulate her. He was a good man. "I'm happy for you Harry," she said unexpectedly and pulled back a bit and looked at his face. "I'm so glad you could find someone that made you this happy. And I'm thankful for that day when you approached him. I'm really glad you are with Draco now, because I don't know what would happen to you if you had ended up with Ginny. She's cool, don't get me wrong, but she doesn't have the same calmness like Draco." Her eyes brimmed with tears and she whimpered, burying her face on his chest.

Harry held her close to him and murmured. "Oh, Hermione, why are you torturing yourself, I know you do, even though you don't talk about it anymore, I know you are blaming yourself for that whole mess."

"But it is my fault, Harry. It is," she pulled back slightly and looked at Harry her eyes bright with tears. "If I didn't fall for him, I'd still be…still be able…" and she broke down into sobs, her whole frame shaking violently from it.

Few minutes later, Draco came and found them like this, Hermione sobbing into Harry's chest, and Harry clutching her closer to him, rubbing her back lovingly. His and Harry's eyes connected for a brief second and Draco, understandingly, walked closer to both of them and sat beside Hermione, taking her into his arms. She whimpered slightly and broke into a new heap of crying. Draco never liked to hear a woman's cry, especially the ones that he cared or respected. He never loved any woman in his life, even his mother; he only loved Harry, and nobody else. With his right hand he reached out and clutched onto Harry's hand, and pulled him closer to them. Eventually Hermione's sobs subsided, and she was only hiccupping when she pulled back slightly.

She sniffled and chuckled a bit and looked at the both of them apologetically when Harry gave her a tissue. "I'm sorry," she said and cleared her fallen tears, looking at them both. "I can't even tell you how happy I'm for the both of you. Really."

"Hermione," started Harry and squeezed her hand. Draco pecked on her cheek and wiped away a fallen and missed tear from her face.

"No, Harry. It's really fine. I'm happy, not completely whole, but I'm somewhat whole. I don't think that someday I'll have someone that will fill that empty space in my heart." As she said this, a green eyed and smiley Remus flitted through her mind, she just lightly shook her head and stood up from between them. "I should probably go, my lunch time is over, and I have to go back to work." She paused when she reached to the door. "I'm performing tonight, if you'd want to come, feel free." She smiled slightly they just grinned at her and she walked out of their apartment.

As the door closed Harry sighed and snuggled closer to Draco, wrapping his arms around his husband. "I hate to see her like this," murmured Draco to Harry. Harry gave a small nod, but didn't comment. "I just…I know that we were never that close, and I used to…hate her, but it kills me what he did to her. I wish I could get my hands on that bastard," Draco said vehemently, Harry tightened his hold on him, kissing his neck lovingly, trying to calm him down.

"Calm down Draco, he got what he deserved. He is dead now, and he can't hurt Hermione anymore."

"Damn right he won't," mumbled Draco and planted a kiss on Harry's forehead. After a moment he smiled and squeezed Harry to him, "We are going out tonight?"

"Yes we are," said Harry and kissed his cheek.

"And we are going to watch Hermione performing. I love watching her; she has some fire in her that nobody else has."

Harry smiled up at Draco and kissed his lips lovingly, and Draco couldn't let the opportunity pass as he plunged his tongue into his husband's mouth; earning a moan from him. They pulled back from their kiss and looked at each other lovingly. "I'm so glad you talked to me after the battle," murmured Draco and smiled lovingly at Harry, which in turn blushed a bit and stole a kiss from his lips. "Let's go and have a shower."

As Draco stood Harry stayed where he was looking a bit worried. "Harry?"

"I'm worried about Hermione," said Harry. Draco swallowed and sat back down and took Harry's hand in his. "She seems tough, but she isn't. She can be easily broken. Did you see her state right now? We were only talking and then she said that she is happy for us, happy for me, for having courage to walk to you and tell you how I felt, but the way she said and then cried. It broke my heart," he swallowed hard and talked again, "Do you know why she came here?" when Draco shook his head, Harry continued. "Because, Remus and Sirius found her."

"How?" Draco asked shocked.

"I don't know how, but she gave Remus a lap-dance. Can you believe it? She was mortified and embarrassed, and then she told me that she could've had sex with him and she would never regret it. I mean why would she say something like that? She had a crush on him, when she was only 15, but I thought it was a mild teenager thing, but the way she said those things, I think that there's something more to it."

"Harry," interrupted Draco, "You are over thinking things, honey."

"I'm not, I-"

But Draco cut him-off. "Stop it, Harry. I know you wish her the best, but leave it already." Harry slumped back to the couch and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I just want her to find someone already."

"I know you do, but you have to let her decide what she wants. You can't force her do things, and trust me when I say; if something bad happens to her she won't thank you."

After a moment, Harry sighed and said, "Ok, I won't butt in anymore, but I swear if that girl won't find someone soon I'll…do something about it."

Draco only smirked and stood up once again and hauled Harry up from his seat, and dragged him into the shower, slamming the door after them.

* * *

><p>"Here's your coffee, sir."<p>

"Thanks."

Hermione looked around herself and spotted a dirty table on the right side of the café and she walked towards it, to clean it up. When she cleared it all, Kate walked towards her a bit breathless from all the cups that she was carrying.

"Hey Herms, can you go to that customer? I'm a bit busy."

"Yeah, sure," she said. "Need a hand?"

"Nah, I'm fine," replied Kate and winked at her, strutting away. Hermione took out her notebook, and while checking it she walked towards the new customer, who was just sitting to himself looking out of the window.

"Good afternoon sir, ready to order?"

"You," he said simply and Hermione wrenched her eyes from her notebook and felt a smile tug on her lips.

"Remus," she said.

"Hermione," he mockingly replied.

"Oh shut it," she said and playfully punched his arm, Remus chuckled deep down in his throat, as Hermione flexed her fingers. He had a really strong body, as she presumed. "Are you following me or something?"

"No, I'm not a stalker, you know?" he replied her, amusement shining in his green eyes. "I just wanted to have some lunch, and then I have to be somewhere." Hermione only nodded and then waited for him order. He looked up at her in a blank expression and Hermione quirked up an eyebrow. "Oh, right, sorry." He smiled sheepishly at her and then scanned the menu one more time, snapped it shut and gave it to her, "I'll have a club sandwich and a coke, please."

"It'll be ready in a minute, _sir,_" Hermione said mockingly and walked away.

Kate was at the bar giving orders, and then turned around when Hermione joined her. As she was giving her order, she had a small smile on her face; Kate eyed her suspiciously and then said. "Ok, spill."

"What?" asked Hermione in a bit louder voice.

"You have a smile on your face, and I know something has happened. Tell me."

"It's nothing, really. It's just Remus is here." Kate only squealed and bounced on her feet excitedly, clapping her hands together. Hermione looked at her weirdly, and continued. "Yeah, it's only Remus, that's it."

"But it's great, ask him to come and watch you perform. You'll be great, and he'll want shag after that, and you can give it to him!"

"Are you out of your mind? What is wrong with my friends? Is there anything that I must know about?" at this moment, Hermione's order was in front of her and she pulled them on the tray and waited for Kate to talk, but the latter only smirked and shook her head, Hermione sighed and walked towards Remus.

She slammed the plate and his coke in front of him and started to walk away from him, but he grabbed her hand and hauled her back to him. "Is anything wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with a bit of worry.

"No, it's nothing," she said and snatched her hand away from his, as if burned.

Remus frowned and then just nodded. "Ok." But something caught his eyes and he grabbed Hermione's wrist and looked at it.

"What's this?" asked Remus as he saw Hermione's wrists for the first time.

"It's nothing," she said her voice a mere whisper.

"What happened to you Hermione?" asked Remus as he looked at Hermione's wrists once again; they were all covered in scars. "Did you cut yourself or something?"

"I said," bit out Hermione, through gritted teeth, and wrenched her hand away from his, "it's nothing."

Hermione walked towards the bathroom, breathing heavily, but not before slamming the tray she was holding on the bar, receiving weird looks from the customers.

She shut the bathroom door after her sitting on the toilet seat she sighed and leaned her forehead on her knees. She knew that her friends were right, she needed to get laid, and soon, but she wasn't ready for it. She wasn't ready to get a new man into her life, into her heart, into her. Remus' face flitted through her mind, for the second time that day, and quickly blinked, trying to clear her mind. She needed to think about it all, and maybe she'd think about what her friends were advising her to do.


	5. Chapter 5

****_you know the rules, see _**[X] **play The WARRANT-Cherry Pie.  
>Enjoy... <em>_

**Chapter 5:**

The Pulse club was filled with night wanderers once again. Some people were shamelessly groping their companions; if they were couples then they were in a full make out session. It was one of their usual nights, but…no, it wasn't; there were foreigners, who came from Russia, they all were in their middle twenties or thirties; single football players. They were too loud. They would make some rude comments on dancers in Russian and they would roar in laughter.

Hermione was in her dressing room, getting ready. She was wearing a little to nothing clothes. A lacy bra and strings, on top of it a very short seeing through robe, she decided not to wear her mask tonight; she wanted them to see her. She was sure that Harry and Draco were going to come tonight, she got the feeling that Sirius would be there too, but Remus…she sighed. She knew she was only giving her a fake hope, but she couldn't stop the racing of her heart when she thought that in the darkest corner of the club, Remus would sit and watch her perform. She shuddered lightly and looked at her mirror; her makeup was perfect; her eyes were smoky, her lips were red from the lipstick she had used. It would go with her costume; after all, it was all black. She grabbed her high black hills pulled them on, grabbed her robe, wore it and walked out of her room. Her hair was not in curls, but it was straight, and it got till her mid waist.

As she reached the backstage, Emma shoved her way through the curtain, a deep scowl on her pretty face. Hermione frowned and walked towards her; Emma was muttering away angrily, but Hermione couldn't understand a word that was coming out of her mouth, maybe it was in Russian. She dismissed that thought and walked towards her friend.

"What's wrong Em?" asked Hermione.

"Bloody Russians," she muttered angrily and took the offered robe from the assistant. "They have a mouth on them, the lot out there! At least you don't understand what they say; don't let them get you down."

"What?" asked Hermione, puzzled.

"They throw insults at the dancers, even though they aren't that bad, they tipped me lot. But that doesn't mean I couldn't show them an ol' one or two."

"Ok, calm down and take deep breaths," said Hermione with worry. She wasn't worried about the Russians; she was more concerned about her friend.

"Nah, I'm fine," Emma said lightly and fixed her hair a bit. "Just ignore them, don't get too close to them." With that she turned away and walked away.

"You ready?" one of the assistants said to Hermione, snapping her out of her thoughts she smiled softly at the assistant, gave him her robe and walked towards the curtain, "Whenever you are ready."

Hermione licked her lips, swallowed and closed her eyes. She took calming breaths, and tuned out all her surroundings. After a moment she smiled again, and opened up the curtains, the club was dark, beside the soft purple lights that were lighting some corners and a red light was at the top of the pole giving it a glow, but other than that it was dark. Hermione snapped her fingers loud and clear and the music begun. _**[X]**_ Hermione counted the right amount of seconds took a deep breath and-

"_Dirty, rotten, filthy, stickin'…."_

Took a step back and ran towards the pole; jumping on it grabbing it with both hands she slowly and seductively slipped down from it; making eye contact with men that surrounded her round stage. When her feet touched the stage, she leaned a bit down then stood straight, turned her back to the pole, her hands hanging at her sides and swayed her hips slowly, bucking them a bit out; she then pressed her bum to the pole leaned forward and swung her hair around with music. She got on all her fours and swung her hair a bit to the sides, then with a snap of her head they landed on her back and she made an eye contact with the first person who was sitting right in front of her. She blessed all the Gods that were in Heaven because the man was quite attractive and if the man was attractive she could dance for him. Without thinking about it twice she sat on the hills of her feet, opened up her legs and leaned her head back to the pole; her hands started to caress her tattooed sides and she bit her lip as if she was in pleasure. Her hands made their way to the pole; she grabbed it with both hands and with a slight movement she was facing the pole once again. She got to her feet, her legs wide open and slowly with a swaying hips she pulled herself up on standing position, she held the pole closer to her and walked around it slowly, making eye contact with people who were sitting far away from her; she saw Draco's blond hair, then Harry's and she felt a slight thrill when she now knew that her friends were really there and were supporting her.

She took off her robe, while she was walking around the pole, when she threw it away her right hand grabbed the pole hard and swung around it once more, her hair flying behind her; she swung her hair around once, and then grabbed the pole once again and started to crawl up. She securely wrapped her legs around it, and recklessly threw her upper body down and touched the floor with her hands. Her body stretched like a cat. She winked at one of the Russian guys, who took a swing of his beer, and through money on her; she only smiled seductively and then unwrapped her arms, swung them back on the floor and stood up. She grabbed the pole once again and turned around spotted 'his' guy and started to dance for him.

"*Ну давай красотка," the guy yelled something in Russian, but Hermione didn't understand what he said.

As Emma warned her not to go too close to them, she had to listen to her; but the guy seemed aggressive. As soon as she was close to him he grabbed her leg and tried to pull her close to him; she tried to kick his hand away with her free feet, but he was too strong. He pulled once more and with a shout she was flying forward, off the stage and to the floor face first. But she never made it to the floor; with'oof' she landed on two strong arms, and those arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her up on standing position. Having no balance whatsoever, she leaned on her saver's chest, which was muscled, and as soon as she looked up she felt that her breath had completely left her.

There he was, with his raffled hair and flushed face, breathless and sexy; Remus. She felt like she was up in the air from all the cologne she smelled from him. His smell was intoxicating; he smelled like earth, menthol and something utterly male. She felt completely safe in his arms and knew that no one would hurt her; but she felt a slight disappointment as he un-wrapped his arms from her, but she gasped when he turned around and punched the man's face, who tried to harm her. When Remus punched him, she clapped her hands on her mouth, which opened up in surprise. He walked towards her, took off his jacket and planted them on her shoulders.

When he spoke his voice was tense, "Let's get you out of here," he whispered to her; and Hermione nodded dumbly and they took off.

Hermione's mind was racing. Why did he do that? What did he just do back there? She looked at his face, being on her high hills she could look straight into his eyes, but he was only looking forward. With a blink of an eye, she realized that he looked quiet…dashing, in his green button down shirt and jeans, and her jacket, which was still on her shoulders, was a black leather jacket.

When they finally reached Hermione's dressing room, Emma was already waiting for her in front of the door.

"Oh, thank God you are alright," she cried out and pulled Hermione into a tight hug. Hermione returned her hug with the same enthusiasm. Emma kissed the side of Hermione's head and pulled back a bit, her hands cupping her face. "You are really, alright? Right?"

"Yes, I'm fine, a bit shaky, but I'm good, thanks to Remus," said Hermone indicating him, who was standing a bit to the side and was looking away from the women.

"Oh," Emma said, and then shook her head, she squeezed Hermione's hands in hers, then said, "I have to go, I'm up again. I'll see you tomorrow morning, if not tonight." Hermione only nodded her head and smiled at her. Emma looked at Remus for a second, gave small nod, and with a sigh she walked away.

Hermione opened her door, and turned around, looked at Remus. "Come in," she whispered.

Remus gave her a small smile as he passed her. She sighed and then closed the door, behind her. She sighed again and leaned her head back to the door, and closed her eyes. The vision of that man grabbing her and pulling her, she falling forward, flitted through her closed eyelids. "Fuck," she whispered as she thought how close she was to fall down and damage her permanently. With a jolt she realized that she wasn't alone and opened her eyes and saw that Remus was watching her, with something in his eyes that she couldn't quite pin-point. She straightened and suddenly felt a bit self-conscious about her outfit. She walked towards her closet, taking off her shoes on her way, she felt his gaze on her, but she ignored him. She pulled her own silk robe on her and turned around, but her breath got caught in her throat when she saw how close he was to her.

He approached her silently, when she was pulling her robe on, her semi-nude form was enticing for him and he liked what he saw on her; she had the most beautiful body he had ever seen in his whole life. The first time he had seen her, the day that she had danced for him; he couldn't stop thinking about her. He knew that from one dance he couldn't be that attracted to her, but he couldn't deny that feeling which he was now feeling towards her. He knew that it was a longing for a woman's touch, and Hermione was a woman, not a girl any more, and she had all the things that he always longed; she had the beauty, smartness, and she had the body that any woman, and at some points, man would die to achieve to her standards. This wasn't love, this was entirely something else. It was an attraction, which was deep. He knew that he was feeling this way because he knew her, at some point in _her_ past life he knew Hermione. He was positive that he wasn't attracted to her when she was still in school and after the battle too, but now...it was only a day when he had found her, and he was sure, that it would take some time for him to feel this way towards her.

But he thought wrong. When he saw that guy grab her leg, he didn't even think about it twice as he stormed his way towards the stage and reached out just in time to stretch his arms and grab her and she landed smoothly in his arms. When he landed her straight on her feet, he couldn't help but tighten his hold on her and press her body towards his and when her eyes caught his...

Now, he was facing her, standing dangerously close to her; he clearly heard her breath caught in her throat, being a werewolf he had a very sharp ears, if he strained them a bit he was sure he could even hear what was going on in the boss' office, but he had to focus on now. He leaned in a bit, and whispered. "Are you really alright?"

Hermione swallowed visibly and choked out a 'yes'. He looked incredibly edible, and she could feel that her heart was beating like mad, and she was sure that he could hear it. She tried to breath, but found it hard. As he took a tentative step towards Hermione, she froze. She was sure that if she didn't get a bit of oxygen in her lungs she would soon turn blue and die. But she wasn't ready to die.

"I don't want to die," she breathed out, as he took another tentative step towards her.

"What?" asked Remus, completely puzzled with her confession.

"I'm saying, that I'm not ready to die," she repeated but her voice was nothing more than a whisper, and she was sure, again, that he could hear her. Hermione's eyes started roaming around Remus' face. He was too handsome to be true.

Remus frowned, "I…don't understand. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I-I can't breathe, you are too close, and I can't breathe…" Hermione whispered hoarsely.

"Do you want me to…" Remus trailed off and took a step back, indicating her that he could back off she wanted him to.

"No," Hermione whimpered and reached her hand out and grabbed a fistful of Remus' shirt and pulled him close. His arms wrapped around her slim waist. Their faces were inches away from each others; their breathing's ragged, as if they had just run a marathon. "I want you to stay close to me, right here." Without even giving a thought about what they were going to do the both of them leaned closer to each other and their lips touched each other softly.

The kiss was soft at first, and Hermione tightened her hold on his shirt. The kiss was too soft; it was like the lips were touching something very fragile. They pulled back a bit and looked at each other, Hermione's eyes and mouth were open and she was feeling a bit flushed. Remus had a slight tint of blush on his cheeks.

The crash that followed was like a thunderstorm. Their lips crashed into each other and the both of them kissed with passion that they didn't think they hold. Remus' tongue plunged into her mouth, and he groaned when he could finally taste her sweet honey mouth. Hermione moaned, and her nails scratched at the back of his scalp. He started to back her and she slowly moved back until her legs touched her console mirror table and Remus grabbed her by her rare, brought her up and sat her on it. The kiss turned into more passionate when Hermione grabbed Remus' hips and pulled him closer to him, and feeling him between her legs, for the second time in her life. She liked it.

"I don't know what is happening," breathed Remus, his voice husky, Hermione shivered in excitement, "But I want to feel you closer to me, I want to get closer to you. I want you…so badly…" Remus moved closer to her and kissed her softly on her lips. His heart was racing, blood was thumping in his veins, and he wanted her closer to him, just like he told her.

His kisses started to wander on her face, kissing her cheek, her closed eyelids, her small nose, her forehead, her right temple then the left one; he then kissed her cheek again and moved closer to her ear. He nibbled softly on her earlobe, causing her to cry out in ecstasy. As she tightened her legs on him, and was already thinking to do more than kiss him, there was a knock on the door.

* * *

><p>Translation: *Ну давай красотка-Come on, baby.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry, for the long delay. Facebook blocked me. Anyways, thanks for you patience guys, and PLEASE review. It really gives me strength to write my other chapters..._

_Enjoy..._

**Chapter 6:**

His kisses started to wander on her face, kissing her cheek, her closed eyelids, her small nose, her forehead, her right temple then the left one; he then kissed her cheek again and moved closer to her ear. He softly nibbled on her earlobe causing her to cry out in ecstasy. As she tightened her legs on him, and was already thinking to do more than kissing him, there was a knock on the door.

"Fuck," breathed Remus, his hands cupping Hermione's soft face, he leaned his forehead on hers and tried to gain his breathing back to normal. There was another knock on the door and Hermione pulled back a bit and smiled softly at Remus, when she saw that his lips were smothered with Hermione's red lipstick, she reached up and wiped them away with her fingers. She felt a shiver ran down her spine when he kissed the tip of her middle finger as it grazed on his lips. Hermione swallowed hard and gave him a tissue, and plopped off the counter, adjusting her robe back to normal, and idly fingering the piercing that was bellow her lower lip. She had many piercings and tattoos and she liked all of them, and thought back in time when she was younger and thought that in time all people who had a tattoo would regret it when they were older, but now she understood that they were too cool to be regretted for.

She walked towards her door and opened it. Her breath left her as Harry embraced her to him, into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so glad that you are alright!"

"Can't…breathe…" Hermione choked out.

"Yeah, right, sorry," Harry said quickly and released her taking a step back. Draco was right next to Harry, looking concerned as ever.

"Are you really fine, Hermione?" he asked with a low voice.

"Yes, I'm good. Come in," she said and walked into her dressing room. She saw that Remus was now leaning on the table his legs and arms crossed over, a blank look on his face.

"What really happened?" asked Harry, after he nodded to Remus.

"I really don't know, I…you know that I make an eye-contact with the customers to make it more exciting," Harry nodded, "Yes, so…uhm…he just reached out and grabbed my leg. I tried to kick his hand away, but he tugged on it one more time and the next thing I know I'm falling down, but I didn't reach my '_final destination'_ because Remus popped by my side from nowhere."

"Remus is always at the right place, at the right time," said Draco and sighed. "Damn, for a second I thought you were… God…" he shook his head and grimaced, crossing his arms on his chest, looking away. Hermione smiled softly and walked towards Draco, she cupped his cheek and forced him to look at her.

"I'm fine now, it was just a small accident, and you know it Draco. This like…this happens, and I have been through worse and you know it," the last part came out as a whisper, and Draco relaxed a bit and pulled Hermione into a hug. Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his chest. The man was too tall, and had a firm chest, and he had such a male scent on him that Hermione now understood why Harry fell for him and then married him. Harry joined them few minutes later and hugged Hermione from the back; Hermione felt safe in the middle of his two friends, but not as safe as with…

"Remus?" Hermione asked and looked around her, Remus was still standing in his same position. He looked up and saw Hermione watching him.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice a bit dull, as if he was still thinking about…something.

"I…thanks," Hermione said awkwardly and leaned back into Draco's warm embrace.

"It was my pleasure," he said and straightened out, "I better get going then. Good night." He walked swiftly towards the door, leaving in haste.

Draco and Harry shared a glance at each other, as Hermione's brow furrowed and bit her lip. Harry only shook his head and rubbed her back.

Hermione's mind was racing. What really happened now was a pre-view of what might happen when she would give in to her passion. Something was stirring deep inside her; she was positive that it was the tale-tell sign of her teenager-hood crush. Was it that? That now she wanted nothing more than to seek the tall and wild man out and kiss his endlessly, sweetly tasting lips? Was it her crush? Or was it something else entirely? For example; she craved for sex. She now admitted to her friends prodding, that she needed descent shag. Her brow furrowed even further, what if he wouldn't want her for…that kind of relationship? What if he wanted a relationship that signed 'no strings attached' just a sex between two people who craved sex? What if he didn't want her for anything? What if he disliked her? She shook her head mentally to answer her own last question. If that kiss was something to go by and not noticing it…but he said that he wanted her…closer to him. Hermione was pulled out of her reverie when Harry lightly shook her shoulder.

"Hermione?" he asked uncertainly. "What was happening here?" at Hermione's somewhat quizzical look, Harry added, "You answered to your door a bit late than usual-"

"-That's no excuse for anything that might've happened here-"

"-Remus was a bit uncomfortable-"

"-He was very comfortable-"

"-And he had a red lipstick on his lips-"

"-What if it wasn't a lipstick?-"

"AND YOUR LIPSTICK IS A BIT SMUDGED," Harry finally said loudly. The two friends were facing each other, Draco was standing to the side, not judging anyone with his stares or anything, he was just standing there, as if he was…bored.

"What's with you, Hermione? I don't give a fuck who _you_ fuck, and you know it, but you lying to me, I know when you lie, stop looking at me like that," he said and pointed his forefinger at Hermione, who frowned once again. "I just want to know if we interrupted something."

Hermione took a deep breath, not understanding why she felt angry about Harry's questioning. After a moment, her anger faded, and she looked at Harry with apology in her eyes, "It doesn't matter now, is it?" she sighed and gave a hollow laugh, walking around Harry, towards her cleansing tools, she sat at her chair and faced the mirror; she liked the piercings she saw on her face. One was under her lower lip, the other on her right side of her nose, and the other one was on her left side brow. She sighed and started cleaning her heavily shadowed right eye, "If he wanted something, then he would've stayed here and waited for me, or for you to leave, but he was the one who left and it seemed like it was a sign for me that he doesn't want anything to do with me, or my hormonal-sex-loaded mind," she started on her other eye, still looking at her in the mirror. "Who would want me, Harry? I'm broken…broken beyond repair."

"He doesn't even know that you are broken, but…" said a voice and Hermione nearly lost her balance in her seat. She turned around and saw none other than Sirius Black leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets, looking a bit disheveled and handsome as always, "if you talked to him, and told him what happened to you all those years ago," he started to walk towards Hermione, "he might understand you, and might accept you the way you are, after all," he kneeled in front of Hermione and lightly touched her knee, smiling at her face, "you know that Remus is a bit broken himself."

"I know that, but I just feel a bit…"

"Shy? Awkward?" Sirius quirked up and eyebrow and said, "Don't tell me that he is not your type? He is quite handsome, if I say so myself, and you know me," he winked at her, "I won't be friends with anyone who is as ugly as a Blast-Ended Skrewts or I don't know what their names are."

Hermione laughed softly and realized that she felt a bit better after Sirius talked to her and made her see some sense. "You do know that I want to tell you, but I-"

Sirius cut her-off swiftly, by saying, "-you want to tell him first, because he was the one who had found you first? Yes, yes I know all that." Sirius stood up, bringing Hermione up with him, they were standing close to each other, and Hermione idly wondered if Draco and Harry were still in the room, "Go and catch him, kitten. You know he would appreciate it if you talked to him. He will understand you, I can feel it. Whatever it was that forced you out of the world that _you_ were supposed to be in right now, he will understand you. I don't care if you'll tell me later, but I'd like to know," he winked at her, "he is the first person that must know your 'secret'."

"Why you and Harry, and sometimes Draco, tell me to talk to Remus? I mean, what would I gain from there? What is it that none of you are telling me?" murmured Hermione, searching Sirius' grey eyes.

"Maybe you'll find happiness there, kitten, best to give it a shot, eh?"

"Yeah," Hermione sighed, and Sirius leaned in and kissed Hermione on the lips, and then pulled back, winked at her and left the room. With a bit sluggish mind she realized that she was definitely alone. She turned and looked herself in the mirror. She hastily pulled her hair into a messy bun and started to dress as quickly as she could. She determined to avoid anyone that would meet her in her way and she pulled her hoody on her head and started to run out of her dressing- room.

When she was outside, she started to walk the sidewalk and into the main street. When she was in the heart of the London, a bit breathless, she awkwardly looked around her and with a jolt she realized that she didn't know where Remus lived now. She pulled out her phone out and wrote a message to Harry.

_Harry, do you know where Remus lives?_

She waited for a minute then her phone beeped.

_Yeah, what's up?_

Not answering his question she wrote her own question.

_Can you possibly give it to me? I'll tell you later, promise._

The answer was almost immediate. Hermione threw her hand up and she called 'TAXI!' as loud as she was able and a minute later a taxi was pulled in front of her. She hastily climbed in and gave him directions and when the driver wanted to protest, Hermione said "I'll pay you double, just get me there as soon as you can!" The driver only shrugged and pushed on the gas, driving away as fast as he could, and Hermione couldn't help but feel grateful.

After what seemed like forever, but it was only a forty- minutes- drive from London to the side hill, to a small village, by taxi; the car was finally pulling in front of a well worn out cottage. Hermione, as she promised, paid the driver double, and walked out of the car. The taxi left as soon as Hermione slammed the door shut, and she was standing alone in a homey -looking street.

She looked around herself and she started walking towards the house she had come tonight. It was dark outside, and Hermione was sure that he was already asleep. She stumbled her way towards his front door and with a slightly shaky hand rapped sharply on the door; she bit her lip and waited. She rapped on it again and heard sudden small noises from inside. She rapped once again, and heard him curse quite colorfully and shouted "Coming!" Hermione's hand shook as she heard his approaching footsteps, her breathing was ragged and she tried to control the shakiness of her body off her. She heard him descending the stairs, still swearing under his breath and then she heard the unmistakable sound of the unlocking of the door.

After a moment the door was swung open and much disheveled and rather sexy Remus Lupin only in his briefs was standing right in front of a very aroused Hermione Granger. She, on the other hand, licked her lips as she thought if she will have the chance to taste his slightly haired chest, she completely ignored the scars on his chest and torso, which was moving rapidly up and down with each labored breath he took. Hermione wrenched her eyes away from his very tempting chest and looked at his handsome face. His green eyes were now amber and she liked the color changing in them. For a moment they only stood there and watched each other the both of them breathing hard. Maybe Remus' hard breath was because of his hasty leaving of his bed, but Hermione couldn't help but hope that his breathing was due to her. She licked her lips and before Remus could utter a single world, she blurted out, "Fuck me?"

"With great pleasure," growled Remus and reached out for Hermione, wrapping his arms on her waist and pulling her roughly inside his house, slamming her into his chest, claiming her lips into a bruising hard kiss and kicking the door shut after them.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_we learn a bit from Hermione's past..._

**Chapter 7:**

He pushed Hermione back on the closed door and bit her lower lip harshly, leaving a bruise behind. Hermione cried out at the sensation, but she ignored it. A slight pain was nothing for her; she felt other pains too. She wrapped her arms on his neck and pulled him closer to her, grinding her body against his. Remus' hands left her waist and reaching down, squeezing her bum, started to grind his hips on hers. She moaned into his mouth and raked her fingers in his soft blond, slightly brown hair.

The kiss was so intense that Hermione was sure she wouldn't feel her lips after the kiss. She nipped on his lips earning a groan from him. She took his lower lip in between her teeth and bit on it, as he did to her. He pulled her back from the door, lifted her up a bit, Hermione had a time to wrap her legs on his waist and Remus slammed her back to the door again. The light bite seemed to open something inside of him that Hermione craved. She knew that if Remus let his inner beast go, she'd be very satisfied and she'd not care about the bruising that Remus might provide her.

She didn't care as he continuously slammed her on the closed door, she didn't care that it would leave a bruise behind, she didn't care that her legs were opening wider and wider; she craved for passion in the last few…months? Or was it a year? She couldn't remember anything, and her mind turned into a fog as Remus did something very pleasant with his tongue. Hermione moaned and tightened her hold on him. Remus' hands left her legs and made their way to her hair braid and pulled it off, letting her hair fall down her back, and he stuffed his fingers into her soft hair, and pulled at it a bit. His delicious mouth left her lips and it started wandering down her chin, to her jaw, to her ear; nipping on it harshly, earning a loud cry from Hermione and a scratch of nails on his scalp, down to her neck and biting on it harshly, leaving a harsh hickey at his way. He pulled aside her shirt and bit on her collarbone, earning another needy moan from Hermione. She jerked her hips up, trying to get some sort of friction. As much as she liked this with Remus, she wanted to feel him inside her, now.

"Fuck me, Remy, th-this can be doooone-" that word came out long because he was doing something on her neck which she loved, "later," she breathed out, pulling him up by his hair and kissing him furiously.

Remus' hands left her hair and grabbed her by her bum; Hermione securely in his arms, he started up the stairs to his small bedroom. Hermione didn't even look around her as Remus walked into his room and let her un-wrap her legs, standing up and still kissing him. She took his lower lip between her teeth, grazing on it; she looked seductively at him and lowered on her knees. She started to unbuckled his belt, she could hear his breathing change from breathless into a more rapid breathlessness as he realized what Hermione was going to do to him. As Hermione pulled down his pants and then his boxers, her breath caught in her chest as she gazed at him; he was huge. Thick, long, and so hard and proud sticking up that Hermione couldn't help but softly blew on it, getting a slight intake of a breath from the owner of this gorgeous cock in front of her. Hermione looked up at him and as she was about to engulf him into her mouth, he gave a slight shake of a head and pulled her up on standing position doing a hasty work on removing his and her shirts, and with slow motion her jeans, and then gave a small shove to her shoulder and Hermione fell back on the bed.

Hermione reached out a hand and lightly touched his exposed and scarred stomach, playing with the hair there. She leaned up a bit as Remus leaned down and their lips brushed against each others. Hermione deepened the kiss, shoving her tongue into his mouth and feeling every curve of the inside of his mouth. She licked the roof of his mouth and Remus sighed in ecstasy; his hands reaching up and unclasping her bra from her, throwing it away in the small bedroom, than shoving his hand under her underwear and sliding them off of her.

His lips left her, making a hot heated kisses down to her collarbone, licking her hardened nipple, sucking on it. Hermione arched her back and grabbed a fistful of hair, keeping him close to her. She cried out when he bit and licked it with his talented tongue; he left her right breast and started on her left one. Hermione's mind wasn't functioning with her; she was in heaven and she wanted more. She tugged on his hair and pulled him up for an urgent kiss. Her one hand was on his back, gripping one of his bicep, the other snaked down his body, leaving a hot trail energetic line, and gripped his hardened erection. It twitched in her hand, and she started to move her hand up and down. Remus moaned into the kiss and started to move his hips with her movement. He wrenched away his lips from her and looked down at her.

"If you…won't stop…this won't be as enjoyable for you as you hoped."

"I know," Hermione moaned and reluctantly moved her hand from his gorgeous cock, throbbing painfully.

Remus kissed her chin, nudging her legs apart he shifted a bit and brought his erection on her entrance. Now Hermione was nervous. This will be the first time she would feel someone entering her. In a small part of her brain there was a small voice, reassuring her that this was Remus, and he'd never hurt her, but the panicking side was, well, panicking and wasn't listening to anything that was going on in her brain. There was a small distraction from down below her belt and she looked down, seeing his length slowly making his way into her, she looked up at Remus' face and found him; eyes close, face flushed, biting his lip, and breathing hard. She so wanted to kiss his lips, but she was terrified. Her body was frozen and she didn't know what to do. She knew she mustn't feel like this, but she couldn't help the tremors in her body that were ready to rip out of her. Her breath caught in her chest when he was finally fully inside of her. She closed her eyes and tried not to cry; she was breathing through her mouth, fast. He slightly pulled back and slammed into her.

A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye, but it was unnoticed by the both parties. He reared back again and slammed into her again, and a flash of memory was in front of her closed eyelids.

"_You selfish, bitch," he roughly grabbed her by her hips, bruising them, and slammed into her mercilessly, Hermione looked at his dark hair, as he made his way down to her breasts. He licked in between her round breasts nipping at it roughly, causing her to cry out in pain. She tried to push him back but he held her down, slapping her on the face._

Hermione opened her eyes with a gasp and looked at Remus who was slowly moving his hips in and out of her. He opened his eyes but not registered the look in Hermione's eyes as he started going down a bit and licked the middle of her breasts. She clawed at Remus' back at the sensation and the painful memories.

"Don't…" she breathed, but Remus wasn't listening to her. Hermione started to panic as he grabbed her hands and pulled them up her head, moving his hips into her. Hermione liked this position and she would enjoy this, but the memories flashed back and she struggled at Remus' grip on her. "Don't." her voice was a bit stronger now.

Remus' hips slowed down a bit and he breathed a sigh, kissed her right breast he moved up and hovered over Hermione's face. He blinked several times and looked at her in a puzzle.

"Why are you crying?" he murmured, a small frown was forming on his wrinkled forehead.

"I-" Hermione didn't know what to say, she knew that she had to talk to Remus, but she asked him to 'fuck her' and he was going just to do that. "I didn't know, it would be this hard to-"

"You," he took a deep breath and continued, "You want me to stop? Just say it and I will…"

"No, no, I just...I just need a bit of…" she looked at his eyes helplessly. There was a tiny bit of disappointment in it and Hermione looked away from him. He grabbed her by her chin and forced her look at him; he moved closer and planted a sweet and soft kiss on her lips. Hermione now realized, again, that this was entirely another person, and this person won't hurt her and she was sure that if she told him not to do anything that she didn't want to, he would listen to her. "I'm ready," there was a flash of relief in his eyes, and he hurried to close them again, but Hermione's hand moved and she cupped his face, "Don't close your eyes, please."

And he didn't close them, instead with a groan; he started to move his hips slowly, making them last a bit longer. Hermione's breath caught when he, throbbing and big, started moving inside her. She sighed in ecstasy as his moves started moving a bit faster. Hermione's head rolled back in bed and she tried so hard not to close her eyes, because the sensation was unbelievably awesome. At first she wanted to let him take control, but now she realized that she had to move her hips or she wouldn't be her old self.

This sex was a relief for as much for Remus and as much as it was for Hermione. More for Hermione, because in a way she was letting go of her fear, that got settled on her chest, after what happened to her in her past. In a small part of her mind, that was still capable to function, she knew that she had to talk to Remus, to explain to him why she stopped him back then, and what happened to her when she left her world.

She only wanted to finally let go, she was ready, and the slight change of his movements indicated her that he was ready to go too. So, with that thought still on her mind, her one hand snaked down her body and started to rub her on her clit, moving her fingers with each of his thrusts. She moved her hips, meeting a thrust for thrust, her fingers moving with them. She whimpered when he kissed the side of her neck and licked a long lick till he was nibbling on her earlobe.

"Eye contact," she growled and bit on his ear, scratching her nails on his back, leaving red angry marks at her wake. He, with a growl of his one looked into her eyes and started to move frantically into her. The bed was creaking with their moves.

Their eyes remained connected as Remus came into her with a cry, and she whimpered as she milked him. Their breaths mingled together as they harshly breathed in and out of their mouths, looking at each other in a wonder. They stayed like that for a moment, but then Hermione gave him a small nudge with her feet and he pulled back from her and rolled on his back looking at the ceiling and still breathing hard. Hermione was in the same position as him, but then she turned her head towards him and with a start she realized that Remus was beautiful indeed, even if he was still covered in sweat and smelled like he just had sex, stupid one, he just had sex indeed, but still, the unique smell that came from him, was intoxicating. She could even smell her from him.

"Do you smoke?" Hermione asked, moving her lips, but not feeling them at all.

Remus, still out of breath, answered, "No."

"Damn," Hermione muttered and turned to look around her and realized that the bedroom was so small that it only had a small wardrobe in it and a bed, and a small bedside table and only one person could use it at once. Hermione shook her head and sit upright in the bed; completely ignoring her nudity she started down the stairs where she saw her bag on the floor. She walked towards it, and rummaged in it a bit and pulled out the box of full cigarettes. She walked up the stairs to his bedroom, to find him still on his back looking dully at the ceiling, as if deep in thought. Hermione, sighing sat next to him, her back on his headboard. She pulled out on cigarette, lighted it and took a long drug from it, exhaling it slowly out and waited for him to move, or say something.

When she took her second drug, he turned on his side, facing Hermione, tucked a pillow under his head, said, "So, what was that? Back there a minute or two ago?"

Hermione took another drug and looked dully at the wall in front of her. "It was a small panic attack," she whispered to him.

"Panic attack?"

"It's something that I had to face in my…past life. It's a bit long story and it starts after the War-"

"You know that I want to know what happened to you," said Remus hastily and brought his coverlets up her body, to cover her nudity. She smiled at him and took another drug and blew it out.

"Get comfortable," she said and chuckled humorlessly. "Like I said, it had started after the War. You know what we all went through, I had to go to a psychologist so many times, that I can't count on my fingers. My doctor was a nice woman in her mid-forties."

"She was a Muggle?" asked Remus.

Hermione nodded and continued. "I wanted my doctor to be a Mu-well; I wanted her to be a professional. So, we had some meetings and one day, I went there early, and it happened that her son was there…" she trailed off, vividly remembering any details now.

"What was his name?" asked Remus and shifted a bit.

"Kevin…" she breathed.

_TBC_


	8. Chapter 8

****_drama, drama, drama..._

**Chapter 8:**

"Go on…" Remus murmured, and adjusted himself a bit; lying on top of Hermione, between her legs, his head resting lightly on her chest, between her breasts, his arms were snaking around her waist. Hermione froze for a minute, the cigarette in her mouth, taking a long drug from it, looking at the back of his bare back, she frowned, and then said.

"I met that…guy, and we started dating. Everything was perfect between us, really. We were like the perfect couple, for everyone's eyes that is. Even Harry and Draco thought we were perfect, had the perfect life, with the perfect sweet little home," she threw the finished cigarette in the trash bin and continued, "But we weren't Remy, we weren't perfect. We had problems, _he_ had a problem. He had this strange thing like…" she looked away from his muscled and scarred back, to the small window of the bedroom, it was still night outside. "I don't know, he would get drunk, he would be…rough on those nights. I wanted to leave him, every fucking fucked up day I wanted, really. My brain wanted, but my fucking heart…oh no, she had to suffer. Why she never listens to me? I don't really know…." She sighed, Remus' hand started softly rubbing the side of her body; his hand warm and soft on her bare skin. "Anyways, things always changed after those nights, I'd go to Harry's place, he would take care of me, I don't know how he did it, he just...would give me tea and seconds later I'd be dead to the world. I think he used m…." she faltered, sighed and then continued. "Anyways, as I was saying, one night he was too rough with me, because the fucking asshole found out that I was pregnant-"

"Was?" asked Remus in a small voice, already knowing the answer.

"Yes 'was', because he never thought I'd get pregnant, he thought that I used some sort of protection. He then beat me, hard, in the stomach. I remember that day as clear as yesterday; he punched me repeatedly on the stomach, screaming himself hoarse at me. My stomach hurt, I was in pain, seconds later there was a flashing blind of light and everything went black, but I remember some yelling too. When I woke up…" she sniffed a bit and Remus pulled back slightly and looked at her, a concerned look on his scarred face, a small frown on his forehead, Hermione reached out a hand and ran a finger on the line there, "When I wake up…the doctors said that I had a miscarriage. My heart broke over the baby, even if he was a tiny bit of a dot in me, I still loved him. But I never got to know him, and he never had the chance in life to grow…"

"Oh Hermione," whispered Remus and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her cheek, wiping away the tear that slipped away from her bright eyes.

"He came to me, you know? He came to the hospital and he apologized, cried his eyes out and all that shit, and I blindly believed him. Oh but I got a hard slap on my face when I went back home. He was ready for me and I wasn't, I really and truly believed that he changed," her eyes drifted away for a second, then shook her head and locked eyes with Remus, "After that the doctor examined me and told me that the chances of me getting pregnant once again is 3 percent, and maybe I'd never become a mother, but who knows, I still want to, I still want to have a baby, even if I'll be raped once again. I always wanted to be a mother, I wonder, would I be a good mother to my kids?" she frowned slightly.

"I think you'd be a great mum, Hermione," Remus answered sincerely. Then he looked at her hand, and remembered something, "You cut your wrists, why?"

Hermione looked at the scarring on her wrist, and shrugged, "After everything that had happened to me, I wanted to die," she answered simply.

Remus frowned on her tone, but did not comment on it. He looked away as if thinking about something. "How come you became a dancer? I mean, it wasn't like you Hermione. I know you, or I've known you in the past, but this…I never thought you'd become a dancer."

"I haven't much of a choice, now, did I?" Hermione replied.

"What do you mean?" Remus frowned and looked at her, "Listen, whatever happened to you in your past, shouldn't affect you this greatly-"

"But it did, Remy, it did!" Hermione cut him-off quickly. "I was raped by my boyfriend, I lost the baby that I never got to know, and the fucker left me, he dumped me out of his flat and I had nowhere else to go. I couldn't go and live with Harry and Draco, you know how those two are, and they can't get enough of each other." Hermione took a deep calming breath and released it slowly, "I love my life now, though I still think that I made mistakes in my past life, and I'm still doing, but I love this life. The now and here that's all that matters to me, whatever will happen tomorrow, I don't really care."

"You don't care?" asked Remus in disbelief.

"No."

"You don't care that you'll, God forbid me, but die tomorrow? You don't care that you can get pregnant? You don't care what your death will do to Harry or Draco? Or Sirius? Or even ME!" he finally exclaimed, his voice rough with emotions. This wasn't Hermione he had once known.

"No, I don't care, and for the boys and my friends…" she frowned and looked away from Remus' searching face, trying it hard to look him in the face, "They'll…eventually...they'll forget about me."

"Don't you dare to say that?" Remus' voice reverberated from the small bedroom walls. He cupped her face roughly and forced her to look at him, though she closed her eyes, unable to see the raw emotion on his face. "Look at me," he growled at her, and she after a minute or two, forced her eyes to open and looked at his face, "Do you think that I didn't care about you? Are you really that stupid? Why would I try to find you if I didn't care about you?" with that, he leaned forward and kissed her on her lips, she moaned in reply and kissed him back.

She pulled back slightly and looked at him, "Don't tell me you want another go?" she could feel him against her inner thigh, and it excited her in a foreign way, that she had that effect on him. She'd think about those feelings later, but now, she had a matter at her hand that she needed to take care of.

"Well, I can't complain, I have a nude and stunningly beautiful woman in my small and battered bedroom, you can't complain about me, for getting…" he moved in a bit and licked her earlobe, she shivered lightly and hissed, when he whispered the last words, "…excited."

After that the night for the both parties was a bit of a blur of passion, and they never mentioned the small outburst of Remus.

* * *

><p>When Hermione woke up the next morning, she felt so relaxed that she was ready to get some more sleep, but then her eyes flew open and she stared at the unfamiliar ceiling. She blinked for several times and looked to her right; the sun was bright and it cast a soft glow of sunlight in the bedroom from the window, but it was slightly cold. She brought the covers up her body and shivered lightly, she looked to her other side and frowned; the bed was empty. Memories flew to her head from last night and she smiled in pleasure. Now she knew that she was in Remus' bedroom. She stretched and looked at the nightstand which held a picture of three boys that she didn't see last night…after all, she was in the middle of something important. She scooted closer to it and saw that it was of Remus, Sirius and James. They looked so happy and carefree in the picture that Hermione felt sadness washing over her. They could still be like this if their fourth...friend did not betray them.<p>

She sighed deeply and her stomach rumbled, quiet loudly, as she smelled a freshly made of bacon and eggs; Remus was making breakfast. She bit her lip and sat up in bed, looking around she spotted one of his white button up shirts. She walked up to it, and shrugged it on herself, while making the buttons, she started towards the bathroom. It was small, again, but she didn't care. She relieved herself, washed her face, there was no mirror here, and walked out of the bathroom down the narrow stairs.

The house was a built up only with woods. It had a comfy sort of a way to it, and she liked it. She scanned the living- room, noting that it was small, cozy and comfortable too, and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. When she opened the door what she saw made her blood boil with heat once again. Remus; only in his boxers standing his muscled, and slightly scarred back to her and making breakfast for them; he looked sexy as hell. Hermione licked her lips unconsciously when she remembered how she kissed his bared back yesterday at night and earning a needy moan from him. She took a deep breath and released it after a moment, and walked in finally, clearing her throat. Without turning back he lightly said, "You make yourself comfortable, the breakfast will be ready in a minute."

Hermione smiled crookedly and sat at his worn out chair, hooking her leg on the second chairs' stnad, and she opened her legs slightly apart. When he'd turnaround he would not only see her legs, he would also get a sneak peak of _her_, and she waited for his reaction.

When he turned, it was a bit funny, and Hermione bit her lip to hold back a smile. When he turned he almost spilled their teas down his front, and a look of shock was on his face. He stared at her, speechless, and with a blush and a slight clearing of his throat, put one of the cups in front of her and the other to the side of the table, closer to her; he turned back to his cooking. Hermione let a small smile grace her face, but she cleared it off her face when he turned again, with two plates full of eggs and bacon.

When he comfortably sat beside her, he leaned in a bit and kissed her forehead and murmured "Good morning."

And it was truly a _'good'_ morning. They sat together chatting merrily with each other, him talking about his time with the Marauders, her only listening and watching him. This morning he looked a bit healthier than usual. He had the glow on him that indicated that he had a nice night. She smiled softly at him when he started talking about his most fond memory. His eyes were bright with happiness, he got a small smile on his face and he looked so handsome that she couldn't take her eyes away from him. He would bit his lip when he was thinking and talking about his embarrassing times with his friends. How James one day, tried to seduce Lily Evans, and failed miserably when she just looked at him, with a slightly bored expression on her face and she walked away from him awkwardly. Sirius would tease him to no end after those days. Hermione laughed so hard that her sides hurt. It was good to laugh with ease.

"Oh Remy, you had a great time with your friends!" said Hermione excitedly.

"That I did," agreed Remus and looked at Hermione, his eyes shining brightly with happiness. Hermione couldn't take it anymore. She reached forward; hand snaking to the back of his neck, gripping his hair in her hand, pulling him closer to her, and crashing their lips together to a passionate kiss.

What followed that; left Remus staring at Hermione eyes wide with shock.

When they were kissing and their hands were starting to wander, there was a soft pop of apparition directly in the kitchen, and Hermione gave an alarmed cry falling out of the chair and going back on her bum, till her back was on the wall; her knees up to her chest, hands on her ear, rocking back and forth mumbling to herself, eyes screwed shut.

Remus was on his feet immediately, he kneeled in front of Hermione, trying to talk to her, when he tried to touch her, she flinched back and stiffened more, "Ok, Hermione, love. Calm down, it's only Sirius he just apparated here; don't...everything's fine...no one is going to hurt you."

"What's wrong?" came Sirius' voice from Remus' back, but Remus only shook his head, still looking at Hermione, anxiously. "What's wrong with her? Remus?"

"I don't know, ok?" exclaimed Remus, then he said in a softer tone , "She was perfectly normal, we were…talking, then you popped in and she went berserk. I don't know what to do."

"Hermione, love?" said Sirius and kneeled beside Remus, looking at Hermione, who was still rocking back and forth, not listening to them, muttering to herself. "Are you listening to me? It's only me, Sirius, and Remus is here too."

Finally, after a moment of more mutterings, she looked up, her face wet from sweat and tears, but her eyes, they were lifeless. "Remy?" she whispered hoarsely.

"I'm right here," replied Remus, and moved cautiously forward towards Hermione.

"Remy," she breathed, and relaxing a bit she hugged Remus close to her and started breathing heavily. Remus' arms immediately were wrapped around her body, holding her close to him. He looked at Sirius and saw the same expression, as he wore, mirroring his. Helplessness.


	9. Chapter 9

_how do you explain Sirius' actions?_**  
><strong>

**Chapter 9:**

Three weeks had passed after the small 'incident' of Hermione's, and Remus hadn't heard of her after that. Sirius was a bit restless whenever he was around Remus, and he thought that Sirius knew about Hermione, but he wasn't telling him. Remus was sure, because he knew that Sirius was very close with Hermione's friend, Kate. He even went to Pulse, he always went to private rooms, waiting for Hermione, but every time it was a different girl. He'd excuse himself from the young girls, pay them of course, leave and the next day he'd go once again, and the same thing would happen again. He even called Harry, asking him if he knew where Hermione was. Judging by Harry's stuttering answers, Remus was positive that he knew where Hermione was. He even called Draco, but being a former Slytherin, he wouldn't get a positive or a straight answer from the blond.

Overall, Remus was frustrated at everyone.

But he was mostly frustrated at himself. He couldn't think of anything other than Hermione and her face when she saw Sirius apparate in. What had really happened with Hermione? He wanted to know as well, he was so close to knowing, but then that happened and everything disappeared.

Her boss didn't know where she was, telling him that she had received a message from some of her friend's telling her, that Hermione might not come back to work for a month or two, and she didn't know where she was. What was he going to do? What if he'd never see her? He'd just found her, he wasn't ready to let her go.

Ok, now that's the second thought that was occupying his mind. What was so enticing in Hermione? She was brilliant, she had a beauty that no one else held, she had tattoos, and she had piercings. Remus chuckled at his own thought, and sipped his morning tea, sitting in his small living -room. What else? She knew how to keep a conversation going, and he would never get tired of talking to her. She knew how to dance…ok, that was a stupid thing to think about. But still he couldn't erase the image of her straddling his hips dancing on him, or dancing for audience, gripping the pole in her hand like a professional. Remus sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

His feelings were still a puzzle for him, ready to get sorted, but before he'd think of it, he had to find her, but…

Where was she?

* * *

><p>"How's she?" asked Draco to Harry quietly.<p>

"She's still sleeping," answered Harry tiredly, walking towards his husband, and slipping into the comforts of his bed, scooting closer to Draco's body, wrapping his arms around him. "I don't know what to do anymore." Draco tightened his hold on his lover, and pecked softly on his forehead. "I don't want to lose her, she's like my sister. She's something else, you know."

"I do," Draco murmured, and he was proud to say that he really knew her. She was a help that one could ever ask for.

"What if she'll never be back to normal?"

"She will."

"And the most surprising thing is, that she wants Remus, when she wakes up she murmurs his name, do you think that something happened between those two? Do you think…" he sat up and looked off to the space, "that day, night I mean, she asked me about where Remus' place is, I gave the address and she told me something, along the lines, that 'it's worth it' or something like that. Do you think they had…you know?" asked Harry and looked at Draco's face.

Draco looked at Harry with blank expression. "What if they had something together? Weren't you telling me, the other day that she'd want to do it with Remus. What if she did?"

"What if she did?"

"Yes."

"But that still doesn't explain why she is in this state."

"Harry, Sirius pop out of nowhere in front of her, and she didn't see anything like that in so many years, I think it's understandable for her being like this," Draco explained softly, and after a moment Harry nodded and got comfortable, once again, on Draco's body.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Harry in a small voice.

"I think we'll wait for a bit longer, and see if she'll come around, if not, we'll ask Remus to come, because it's him-"

"That she wants to see," finished Harry for Draco nodding his head. "Thank you," he whispered and kissed his chest.

"For what?" asked Draco looking down at Harry.

"Just."

Draco smiled softly and snuggling closer to Harry, fell asleep.

* * *

><p>In the midst of Remus' 'mind struggling' Tonks came back from her vacation. Early in the morning when he neither wanted to wake up nor to sleep, he heard rapping on his front door. He grudgingly grunted and walked down the stairs, opened the door and saw that it was Tonks. She practically hauled him up the stairs and ravaged him hungrily. He being still sleepy didn't realize that he was responding to her administrations, before it was too late and he sunk in into her with a grunt, and heard her moan.<p>

She wasn't Hermione, nor she was the one that should be wrapped around him, but he was angry with her for jumping on him and he was angry with Hermione for wiping away from the face of the earth, and he was angry with himself that he foolishly assumed that Tonks won't do something like this and he would wait till Hermione would come back to him.

After some minutes when she reached her high and screamed, he just roughly rode his orgasm out and just pulled out of her; grabbing the first clothes that he could reach, pulling them on he apparated away, leaving a very bewildered Tonks behind.

He apparated to Sirius' place; it was still early morning, so it was understandable that he was still sleeping. He peaked into his rooms, and not surprised to see him tangled in sheets with a blond haired girl sleeping beside him. Remus snorted, and walked out of the room towards the kitchen. He poured himself a drink and sat, looking out of the window, thinking.

Why was he so angry at himself? It wasn't that he didn't like Tonks, they had something together some time ago, and when she decided to go to vacation, they agreed that they'd only have a platonic friendship, and she agreed. She God damned agreed. Now she ruined everything. Shit. What was he to do? Did he have to be with her again? Or not? What would happen to them? What would happen to Hermione when and if he'd find her? But wait…he and she did not have anything together. But why did he feel guilty all of a sudden?

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, when Sirius walked in, only in his boxers.

"I didn't know you were here," he grumbled, which indicated that he was not a morning person at all.

"Well, I apparated in and you were…asleep," Sirius grinned at that. "Rough night?" asked Remus sarcastically, but his heart wasn't into it.

"Very," agreed Sirius and poured him a coffee, sipping it as he sat on the counter and looked thoughtfully at Remus. "Something happened to you and you don't know if you should tell me or not." It wasn't a question.

"No, everything's fine, really," lied Remus through pursed lips, but he knew that Sirius knew him too well, and he could tell when he was lying.

"Bullshit," said Sirius and took a sip of his drink.

"Tonks is back," there was a hum of acknowledgement from Sirius, who was still drinking his coffee, "and we had sex."

"What?" coughed up Sirius, spilling out his coffee, "You can't be serious?"

"Well, I'm not Sirius, you are," joked Remus lazily.

"Don't fucking joke with me Moony," Sirius mumbled and wiped away the slipped coffee off his chest. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't really know."

Sirius looked at his friend closely and mumbled, "You feel guilty."

"I do," agreed Remus, not lying at all, because he knew that he couldn't lie to his friend.

"And it's because of…someone else? The guilt I mean."

Remus only nodded.

Sirius understood his friend in a minute, "Moony, you should know that…she is not yours, and you don't feel any responsibility towards her. You are a free man and she is a free woman," when Remus looked more dejected than ever, he added softly, "don't do this to yourself or her."

"I'm not doing anything to me or to her; I don't even know where she is at the moment. Do you know where she is?" Remus asked his friend, who shook his head in his turn, not looking at him. Remus ignored it, "She's something else…entirely. I gave up on Tonks and thought that I'd start something new with…someone else. But she came back and ruined everything."

"Why do you feel guilty Remus? Think of it as a sex and nothing else," suggested Sirius lightly.

"You know that I can't think of 'just sex' with Tonks, for one she's your cousin and for two I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"What about yours?"

"What about mine? I'm fine with it."

"So it's ok to hurt your feelings and not be happy?"

"If that what it takes from me to make her happy, then I'll do it."

"Where the hell had gone my friend? Who the hell are you?" asked Sirius incredulously.

"Sirius, don't. You know that she was devastated when I broke it off with her-"

"And now she all but fucked up everything," mumbled Sirius.

"She didn't," Remus tried to deny it, but the glare from Sirius silenced him. "I just…don't know already."

"You should just tell her to fuck off and that's it."

"I can't do that, don't you understand? I just can't," said Remus angrily, his voice almost a growl. Sirius looked at him sharply, frowning, "You know that I'm not like that. I can't 'just have sex' with Dora."

"Dora?"

"Yeah, it's her name, isn't it?"

"But you called her Dora when you were in a relationship with her. Did she give you a love potion or something?" asked Sirius looking worriedly at his friend.

"Don't make fun of this Padfoot. Just don't," he pushed away from his chair and apparated away once again.

Sirius sighed and looked at the place where his friend had just been. The blond woman walked to kitchen scratching the back of her neck and yawning. "Morning."

"hm" replied Sirius.

"Is there a coffee here or something?" mumbled the girl.

"Here, take this, I don't want this, whatever this was," Sirius was so much thinking about his friend that he forgot what he was drinking, "Hey look, I'll leave the money on the nightstand, take it and leave later," he walked towards her and kissed her cheek, "Thanks for the night, lovely."

He was only rewarded by her small smile. Sirius winked at her and walked to his bedroom. He started to wear his favorite navy blue button up shirt and faded blue jeans, his mind racing. He knew that he was being a very bad friend not telling Remus the truth, but…he promised her, and in exchange for that promise she told him about her past. It was a very unpleasant thing to know that about her, knowing that she was a brilliant witch back at her time, and she still would've been if not for…certain circumstances. He sighed as he did his shoes and walked down the stairs and out of the front door. Taking a deep breath he apparated to Harry's place.

When everything was in the right place once again he opened the door to Harry and Draco's apartment and walked in. Being Harry's Godfather, and the Godfather for their wedding Harry gave him a key to his home, though Sirius only used it whenever he wanted or he was in a bit of a hurry.

"Harry?" Sirius called out when he walked into the living room. "Draco? Where are you?" There was no answet, but…

"They aren't home now, it's only me here."

"Hello Hermione," said Sirius kindly and walked towards her.

"Hi," she replied softly and hugged him close to her. She liked Sirius, because he was handsome and kind, and he was like a big uncle for her. He was incredible. He apologized after what had occurred between them the other day, and when Hermione opened up to him, not keeping her promise to tell Remus about her past first, he embraced her answer almost immediately. And he held her when she started crying after her story. When they pulled back Hermione had tears in her eyes.

"Oh, this won't do at all," murmured Sirius and wiped away her tears with his thumbs, holding her face in his hands, "I feel like shit, whenever you see me you start crying, it feels like I'm a bad influence on you or something."

"No, no Sirius, no," answered Hermione thickly, her voice filled with held back emotions, "it's just whenever I see you I remember…him. You look so much like Remy."

"Remy?" mumbled Sirius, "Why the two of you use nicknames is beyond me."

"What do you mean?" asked Hermione, taking Sirius hand in hers and walking towards the couch sitting down, Sirius by her side.

"It's…" looking at Hermione, Sirius thought that he shouldn't say a single word, but he couldn't help himself when he said. "Tonks is back, and I think that Remus might've gone back to her."

"Tonks?" whispered Hermione, she knew all about Tonks and Remus all too well, they were together when she was still in her sixth year, and after the war she knew that they were together.

"Yes, her. You know, years back, Remus ended it all up with her, but now she came back from her vacation and they are together now," said Sirius, "I don't even know what Moony was thinking when he did it with her. I know she's my sister and all that shit, but I don't really care if he'll break her heart. He was unhappy as long as I could remember him; it was like he wasn't meant to be happy in his life. But…" he paused and looked straight into Hermione's eyes, "He is out of his mind, Hermione. He wants to find you, real bad. He wants to know what's wrong with you and why you left the Wizarding World. And he wants to go back with Tonks, I don't even know why."

"Sirius, why are you telling me this?" whispered Hermione, breaking the eye contact.

"Because, somewhat, I know you. I know the both of you, and if this continues you'll end up hurting," he cupped his cheek and ran his thumb on her cheek, "I don't want you or my friend to get hurt. I love the both of you dearly, and if…by some miracle Remus will get his wits back, and break it all off with Tonks, he can be with you and the both of you will be happy. I want only happiness for the both of you, and nothing else."

"So, you are telling me to just…stop thinking about him and live my life like normal?" asked Hermione, her eyes brimming with tears once again. She bit her lip to hold back a sob that was so dangerously close to escape her lips.

Sirius looked at her and gave her a small nod, and Hermione couldn't hold back any longer as she started crying. Sirius held her once again while her body was shaking with her grief.


	10. Chapter 10

_I know, I know you'll all gonna hate me for this..._**  
><strong>

**Chapter 10:**

"I don't really know what to do Harry," said Hermione miserably and looked sourly at her coffee. It was days passed after her little talk with Sirius, and she was back to café for her work. She had a lunch break, and Draco and Harry were visiting her, checking if she was alright, and as it happened she was not. "It's like the fifth year once again, I feel something to him, he ignores me completely, and I don't know what to do, but the only difference in here is that we slept together, and I'm freaking out when I see some odd stuff going in front of me. I don't even know what to do? I mean, I know how I feel towards him, and I don't know how he towards me, but I…that doesn't mean that we will have anything with each other, you know what I mean? I mean I won't say that I'd be good if he really started something with Tonks, but that doesn't mean that I'll approve it either. What am I to do? And it's-"

"Hermione, stop," finally exclaimed Draco, at his wits ended. He was getting angrier and angrier by each passing minute and Hermione was talking real fast and wasn't making any sense. And he told her this much, "me and Harry know how you feel towards him, what had happened to you when you were in your fifth year, and we know that you don't know what to do anymore. I understand that, Harry understands that too, I hope, but please stop torturing yourself over him. It's not like you. I know that you are a fighter; you fight for what you want. If you wanted him, you would fight everyone to get to him, and not hurting you or him in the process."

"But they will be hurt, eventually I mean," added Harry and looked out of the window.

"Harry," Draco took Harry's hand in his and squeezed it gently, "Everyone hurts, and it's not life without a bit of hurting and crying. Don't you remember what we went through?" Harry nodded and squeezed Draco's hand back.

"Guys, it's not like your relationship. It's a…mess. Really, I like him, hell I even can admit that I love him," Harry looked up at Hermione sharply, "But I don't know if I'm ready for heartbreak."

"Why don't you try?" asked Draco and sipped his coffee.

"Excuse me?" asked Harry, and looked at his lover like he just grew another head.

"What? Don't look at me like that. I know what I'm suggesting. You go and have fun with him, live your lives have sex and orgasms, and in the end maybe it will work out or not, and be careful not to fall for him too hard."

"But I love him," said Hermione, slowly.

"I know, but maybe you love him as you love Sirius or any other guy, I don't know with whom you are friends with these days, maybe it's just a silly crush or something."

"What about Tonks?"

"What about her?"

"What if she and him are back together?"

"What if they are not. What if Remus doesn't want her anymore, what if it was just a one night stand, what if he will really, really freak out and chuck her out of his life?"

"So the key word in this whole mess is 'what if?'" asked Hermione uncertainly.

"Yes," answered simply Draco.

"hmm…" she answered back idly and sipped her drink.

"Are you insane?" finally asked Harry to Draco, who was trying to protest whatever Hermione and Draco decided just now.

"No, Harry-poo I'm not," replied Draco, sarcastically.

"I hate it when you call me that," mumbled Harry and pouted a bit. Draco kissed his full lips lovingly and drew back a bit and smiled at him, "Ok, maybe not," agreed Harry breathlessly, his eyes closed.

"Harry, you know that I love you and all, but you don't know how to handle another's relationships and/or lives. You are a great husband and a great cook, and that's it."

"What? Only that?" asked Harry incredulously.

"Hmm…yeah, I can't think of anything else to say," Draco answered somewhat lazily and grinned when Harry started to mumble something under his breath, clearly distressed.

Hermione stifled her giggle and looked at Draco once again, "So, you are suggesting me to have a bit of a…fling with Remy and see where that will go even if we end up broken hearted?"

"Yes, I mean, come on Hermione, live a little," encouraged Draco, and then smirked when he saw that Harry was still mumbling something away, he winked at Hermione who smiled softly at him.

She took his hand in hers and Harry reluctantly gave his hand to her too, she squeezed them both, saying, "Thank you, the both of you are amazing. I never could ask for a better friend then you two."

"What about me?" a very familiar voice sounded just behind Hermione's ear. She turned around and looked at Sirius' happy face.

"Where did you come from?" asked Hermione, laughing despite herself, when he playfully ruffled Harry's hair, which sulked even more, and sat beside Hermione, kissing her cheek.

"I was just around the corner and I saw you all having lunch together. And I decided to drop in for a minute and then go and see Kate. She isn't working today."

"No, she's not, how come you know that?" asked Hermione, narrowing her eyes in mock suspicion.

"I just know."

"You seem too close with each other," observed Draco.

"Yes."

"It's really nice," said Hermione, "she needs someone in her life."

"She's not the only one," mumbled Sirius, more loudly he said, "By the way, I was just visiting Moony, and he is out of his bloody mind Hermione, he still wants to find you and force some explanations out of you, and he wants to be with Tonks to not hurt her feelings, I mean, what the fuck? Don't you think of your happiness before thinking of another's?"

"Not with Remus," mumbled Hermione, "Sirius, I decided to talk to him, and try to be with him, just for…fun, if you can tell that."

"'Just for fun'? What's that suppose to mean?" Sirius asked looking curiously at Harry, who was still sulking, he shrugged then looked back at Hermione, finally settling his eyes on Draco, somewhere inside of his mind, and he was suspecting that the blond boy had something to do with Hermione's decision.

"I said to Hermione to live a little, and to get out of her boring life, and she decided to give it a try with Remus, to just see where that will go, and she thinks that she can handle anything that the future will throw at her," explained Draco.

"Something like a 'relationship with no strings attached'?" asked Sirius, looking at Hermione, his mind racing.

"Partly, yes," answered Hermione. When she saw the look on Sirius' face she grabbed his hand in her both hands and said, "I'm ready to take a chance only to try. I don't care if I end up hurting myself, or hurting him, I want to know and feel once again."

"So you are bored?" asked Sirius, "try with me all that stuff," he added cheekily and winked at Hermione, which caused the group to laugh loudly.

"I might consider it," playfully replied back Hermione.

"Call me when you decide what to do," he said and stood up, "and with that said I really have to go." And walked away.

"We should go too," said Draco to Harry, who grumbled in reply. "Oh stop sulking or you'll sleep on couch tonight or worse no wonderful sex for a week."

"You can't do that!" exclaimed Harry, shocked.

"Try me," Draco said and crossed his arms on his chest, looking sternly at Harry.

"Bastard," said Harry, and standing up, kissing Hermione's cheek he walked out of the café.

"I swear sometimes I think that I have a four years old kid, not a twenty eight year old husband, it's frustrating," said Draco, looking at Hermione, who just smiled at him, "I have to make it up to him. And he is a real animal in bed," his eyes took a loving look that Hermione felt a bit jealous. She wanted someone to look at her like that, and that said someone was way away from loving her like she wanted. But she could make it happen.

"You love him, and that's all that matters, he'll come around, and yes, you do have to make it up to him," grinned Hermione and she stood up with Draco too. They hugged and Hermione mumbled into his chest, "Thanks so much for everything Draco." By way of replying he just kissed her forehead, hugged her tight and walked out of the café, leaving Hermione to her own thoughts and life.

* * *

><p>Hermione walked out of the taxi and looked at the battered house in front of her. The last time she had been here the night that they spent together was magical. But now there was only one thing on her mind, and it was not sexual at all. She took a deep breath and started up the small drive towards his house. She tried to relax her tense muscles when she knocked on his door, she was even considering running away already, when the door opened and a very curious and worried looking Remus Lupin was standing at the threshold.<p>

"Hi," Hermione started awkwardly, and smiled tentatively at him, "c-can I come in?"

Remus was still looking like he was seeing a ghost but he gave her a way to come in to his house, before closing the door after her. He furrowed his brow and walked into his living room; Hermione followed him, and saw that he was trying to clean as much of the mess he had made in the living room, and she smiled softly at his frantic cleaning. When the couch got somewhat a descent look to sit on she walked and sat on it, looking at the growing fireplace. It was already mid-autumn and the weather outside was a bit cold, but inside his house it was really warm.

Without saying anything Remus turned and walked out of the room and she assumed he went to the kitchen. After ten minutes he came back bringing with him a very warm and sweet smelling tea. He placed her cup in front of her and he sat opposite her on the couch, still not looking at her and not talking at all. But not Hermione…she was watching him. He looked like an angel with his tousled hair and the light which was casting from the fireplace was giving some sort of a glow, he looked a bit unhealthy and with a pang she remembered that two days ago was the full moon.

She licked her lips and said in a small voice, "I'm sorry."

After a moment of silence he said, "There's nothing to forgive."

"But there is," Hermione replied quickly, he was still not looking at her, and he pursed his lips, "What I did was wrong, the other day I mean, I shouldn't have freak out like that. I just…it just caught me by surprise that's it. I just…Remy," she breathed his name, exhausted all of a sudden by his offhand behavior, "Please, talk to me, normally, don't just ignore me. I came here today to talk to you and try to explain."

"You do have some explaining to do, yes," he agreed with her.

"Yes, I do," she said softly and looked at the tea in her hands, "But you have to come with me to…this place. I want to show you something."

"Where?" asked Remus, finally looking at her, his eyes were not as cold as his voice was.

"Please, don't ask questions, yet," she pleaded, and then in a smaller voice she said, "Please, come with me."

After a moment of silence he nodded and stood up from his place and walked out of the room, up the stairs to his bedroom. Hermione sighed a bit in relief and sat back on the couch drinking her tea and looking around her; his living room was cozy, and had not so much things there; a small coffee table, a couch and a sofa, the fireplace, and a small shelf at the corner of the room that held lots of books, curious she walked towards it and started to read the titles. The books were Muggle fiction books, and some of them were magical books, mostly about Defensive and Offensive Spells and such. She heard his footsteps and turned around and felt her breath leave her. He was too handsome to be true. He was wearing navy jeans with green button down shirt, on top of it was a sweater, that looked like it was made just for him, and he was wearing a brown colored leather jacket. He looked so young, that Hermione forgot that this was her former professor.

She shook her head slightly and blushed when she saw that he was watching her closely. She cleared her throat unnecessarily and said, "Ready to go?" His only response was a nod. Clearly he was still offended.

They took a taxi and Hermione gave the address to the place that she was taking Remus. The ride was silent mostly. Hermione was looking out of the window of the car, her mind racing. The last time she went there Emma was with her, understanding and caring as much Emma could've been the sensation back then was nothing to compare with this moment. Hermione was nervous. Sure she had already told Sirius about it, but telling Remus was a new story. She wasn't just going to tell him, she was going to show him, a 'prove' some of people would name it. She looked sideways at him and caught him staring at her, they quickly looked away.

Remus sighed in frustration and racked a hand in his hair, Hermione saw all the movements he made and her heart skipped a bit. She knew that she was acting like a teenager so in love and such, but she couldn't help her reaction to him, he looked gorgeous. She took a deep breath and squashed her desire back, this was not the time for fantasies, she was about to tell him what really happened to her many years ago.

After what felt like hours the car pulled in front of the fancy looking hospital. Remus furrowed his brow as he walked out of the car and looked up at the building. Hermione came up and stood by his side carefully looking at his face and saw only confusion. She walked towards the front door, and felt him following her.

The hospital was warm and Hermione took her jacket off her. She walked towards the receptionist, a lovely old woman, with graying hair, and smiled at her. It took her a moment to recognize Hermione and with a delightful cry she wobbled her way out of her desk table, walking towards Hermione she gave her a big hug.

"Oh Hermione," her voice was as wobbly and old as her look, "how delightful. The last time I have seen you was like years ago. How are you my dear?" she asked as she pulled back from the hug and looked at Hermione closely.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Riley, how are you?" asked Hermione, kindly.

"Oh well, I'm fine, getting old, but still staying strong," she replied and laughed at her own little joke, then her eyes fell on Remus, "Who's this lovely young man?"

"He's Remus, one of my close friends," _or he could be_, Hermione added in her thought, and watched with amusement as Mrs. Riley gave him the same greeting as she did to Hermione. Remus flushed with embarrassment, but did not comment. "So, how are they? Can I go and visit them?" asked Hermione after her laughter was somewhat under control.

Mrs. Riley's smile wavered a bit and she wobbled her way back to her chair, she sat down and pushed her glasses up on her nose, "Yes, you can visit them but not for long, they get distressed too quickly."

"I just want to know if they are fine, and if they want something, and I just want to see them," Hermione said hastily and with pleading eyes.

"Sure sweetheart, Susan," Mrs. Riley called out and a pleasant looking and young nurse was at her side in an instant, "Take them to playroom, please."

"Sure, Mrs. Riley, come on," said Susan and led them towards the elevator.

"Hermione," asked Remus undertone, and so close to Hermione that she held back a shiver.

"Yes?" she asked as they walked into the elevator.

"Who are we visiting?" asked Remus.

And before the elevator doors closed, Hermione said, "My parents."

_TBC_


	11. Chapter 11

****_I love the chapters I'm writing for Hollywood Tonight now. It's going to be awesome! I'm excited..._

**Chapter 11:**

Mr. and Mrs. Granger could've been a very pleasant and beautiful couple had it not been for their current situation, thought Remus as he watched Hermione walk towards them. They were playing chess, or trying to play chess; they sat and looked at the board making no moves at all. Hermione kneeled down by her mother's side and took her hand in hers; Mrs. Granger was still impassive.

"Mum?" Hermione's voice was small at first, and Remus barely heard her from where he stood; he was six feet away from them, being a werewolf had his advantages so he could hear everything she said. He felt his heart squeeze at Hermione, as she looked helplessly at her dad, and called him, but both of them did not even blinked an eye. Hermione sighed and sat at the small stool, still clutching her mum's hand in hers, and started speaking in a small voice, "I missed you guys, I couldn't come sooner, because I had a bit of…something, but I'm fine now, uhm…" she faltered a bit and sighed again. She looked on the verge of tears, even Remus felt his eyes sting at the sight. "I'm good, still working hard, still trying to live my life as much as I can without really feeling guilty about it…" her voice was soft now, and she told them about her life, what she'd been doing during these passed days. When she got nothing of them she shook her head and stood up. "I'll go now, but I'll come back later, in a few days. Ok?" Without waiting for something, anything, she turned around, held Remus' gaze for a moment and walked out of the room, without a backward glance.

Remus followed her out, and saw as she walked quickly down the hall, her shoulders hunched down in defeat. He ran so he could get to her, and when he was closer to her he grabbed her hand and stopped her. "Are you alright?" he asked in a soft voice, not looking at her.

"I'm fine," she replied equally softly. "Come on, I think I owe you some kind of an explanation."

Remus was on the verge of telling her that she did not have to, but a small part of his mind wanted to know what had happened. So he only nodded and started to the elevator, Hermione by his side.

When they were out of the hospital, Hermione took a couple of deep breaths, trying to gain her emotions back into their places. It was very hard to visit her parents. It was even harder to face them and not know what to tell them. She looked sideways at Remus who was watching the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. When he looked up he frowned and reached out a hand and touched her cheek. She realized then that she had spilled some unwanted tears. She quickly wiped them off and in a way moved Remus' hand away from her.

"uhm…" tried to talk Hermione, but her throat was a bit tight, she tried to clear it and talked again, "Let's go somewhere more private, we can go to my place, and you haven't seen it, though it's not as descent as I wanted it to be, but still-"

"It's not a problem," cut her off Remus swiftly.

Hermione nodded and caught a taxi.

* * *

><p>Hermione's home wasn't that bad looking as she described it, but it was really messy. Clothes and books and CD's were scattered around her living room, and Remus didn't want to see her bedroom at all, because he knew that it would be the same as the living room. She bit her lip a bit worriedly and asked tentatively.<p>

"Coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee, please," Remus answered and shrugged off his coat, finding a place to place it on, and walking after Hermione into her kitchen, which was surprisingly clean.

"Milk? Sugar?"

"No, thank you."

As she was preparing the coffee, Remus sat at the table and watched as Hermione moved. She had changed for sure, she moved more confidently, her body had formed beautifully and if anyone said otherwise would be dense enough not to appreciate it. She had a nice face too, he thought as she looked at the cupboards for some cookies, she had a small chin, a small nose, with a piercing on it, her cheeks were slightly chubby but not round, a bit high. And her eyes were like two sweet chocolates; they were more doe-like. And they would brighten up when she'd talk about something that she liked, her cheeks would flush a bit too. And her lips…her lips were the two sweetest lips he ever tasted in his life.

He now had another fantasy to burry himself in; their one moment together. Her eyes were dark with passion when Remus looked into them when he was moving in her, her cheeks were flushed with arousal, her lips were red and a bit rounder then they were because of his kisses, and she'd leave the most delicious moan he'd ever heard. And he was ready for more…

"Here," Hermione's sweet voice cut across his mind and he mentally shook himself, coming back to earth just in time as she passed him a cup of steaming hot coffee. He took a sip and waited for her to sit. Hermione sipped her coffee twice and Remus waited patiently for her to start.

"You are waiting…" Hermione said softly, not looking at Remus.

"I am," replied Remus and sipped his coffee.

"What do you want to know?" asked Hermione after a moment of silence.

"Tell me whatever you'd like to share with me…" Hermione nodded her head and looked out of the window.

When she spoke her voice was a bit distant, "In our sixth year Harry, Ron and I decided that we were going to hunt the Horcruxes down, in our seventh year. Harry not having parenting figures didn't think of it twice as he left the Dursleys, he had a vengeance to do, right? Ron's family are wizards and witches and they understood what it was for all of them though that took long time to sink in. But me…I am a Muggle-born and the best friend of the famous Harry Potter, so it was an easy target to get to me…by my parents. I had to make a decision to save them, to hide them once and for all, before the hell broke loss. So I did what I thought was the right thing to do. I obliviated them," Hermione sipped her coffee in a way for taking a moment to concentrate what she'd have to tell Remus. After a small silence she spoke again, "I thought it was the right thing to do, you know? Being the brilliant witch in our generation; doing works or charms that no one could do. You see, I was wrong, and you were wrong too. I'm not that brilliant," she gave a small bitter laugh, shaking her head she continued, "So I perfectly obliviated them, they were happily married, clear Muggles, without anything connecting them to the Magical World."

"You mean that," interrupted her Remus, his brow furrowing, "You obliviated their memories, and they don't have any memories of you?"

"Yes, I don't exist for them anymore," she took a deep breath and continued, "After the obliviation I went with the boys and never once stopped thinking of them. It was like a nightmare, really. I didn't know how they were; I only knew was that they were in Australia, because I sent them there, and that was it. After the war, you know how we were all, shocked and numbed by the events, and my adrenaline was still pumping hard inside of me and I thought of them about saving them, bring them back and I apparated to them. Well," she gave the brittle laugh again, and Remus tried hard not to flinch, he didn't like the sound of her laugh, "they were surprised to see a strange girl come to the front of their doors, covered up in battle bruises. I was in so much of a shock that I couldn't…I just…I…" she faltered and closed her eyes, placing her cup on the table and covering her face with her hands. "I lost control. I couldn't concentrate enough to place their real memories back to their places. I…" she looked up, her eyes connecting with Remus', and her eyes started to sting with the unshed tears, "I lost them Remy, I lost my parents…They don't even know me…and the doctors say that they don't know when and if they'll get their memories back…I don't know what to do…"

She took big calming breathes, clearing her throat she looked at Remus with tears in her eyes; one lone tear left her eye, without her noticing it, and said, "That's why I left the Wizarding world, I didn't want to be in a place where I could remember what I did to my parents, because of it. I gave up everything the day I did that to my parents. Only Harry knew where I was, which is what I wanted. I didn't want anyone to come looking for me. I didn't want to see anyone, only Harry, and he was there whenever I wanted him. He was always by my side, but then he started to date Draco; which was more helpful than Harry was, but…that wasn't the same you know? And then I started to go out with Kevin, that guy I told you about? Yeah, I started to go out with him and here I am now, a dancer and a waitress at the café. Why choose those careers? Easy. I didn't want any publicity. A waitress is just an average girl who can't find a descent job for her, and a dancer is a woman who wants to have fun by dancing, giving other people joy and making loads of money. I'm somewhat happy, but that doesn't mean that I'm proud of myself. I sometimes hate myself. And I hate myself because I can't control whatever it is, is happening to me….I want to live my life…I want to enjoy every fucking minute of it, and I'd really want to spend it with the one that I want to…I want…" And with a choking sound she started to cry.

Remus sat and looked at her with shock. She had done a brilliant thing; secured her parents memories, to save them from the Dark Side, but then she…well, she fucked everything up by cleaning their all memories, leaving them remembering nothing at all…

But then he was angry at her, why did she look so vulnerable and weak in front of him? Why did she have to look so pretty when she cried? Why did she have to do this to him and his heart? He gritted his teeth in frustration and looked away from her…he so wanted to reach out and hug her to him, oh he wanted to stroke her hair out of her face and tell her that it was alright, that she was safe now, that she didn't have to think about the past, because it was all in past, but he let the anger take over him and in an instant he was on his feet, his one hand grasping her by her neck. She made a startled sound when Remus hauled her up to her feet and shoved her up against the refrigerator. She choked on her breath and looked fearfully at Remus.

"Why are you doing this to me?" asked Remus, his voice low, but not dangerous.

"Wha-What are you talking about?" asked Hermione a bit breathlessly; Remus had a strong hand.

"Why do you have to tell me your story, why you left us and then look like this?" Remus replied, almost shouting.

"Like what?" exclaimed Hermione, her hand grasping on his to make him let go of her, but to no avail.

"Like this! Weak! Vulnerable! Do you know what you do to me or my mind or my body? Do you?" after a moment silence, Remus shook Hermione and yelled, "Do you!"

"No, I don't!" screamed Hermione, her voice scratching with her screaming and chocking on it. After more heated looks and breathless moment, Remus bit his lip and loosened his hand on her throat, cradling her in his and with one hand his long fingers caressed her neck gently. Hermione's body started trembling. He looked inhumanly scary for her at the moment. She knew this because she re-searched everything that she could find on werewolves. And this was another side-effect of it. Werewolves tend to be very aggressive before the full moon, but by Hermione's calculations it was till next month…so what was this one? "I-if you don't have anything else to say to me you are free to leave. I told you about my past and about my secret. I don't care what will happen after this, but I want you to leave if you don't have anything else to say," she whispered, not looking at him, she was too scared.

"You are scared," murmured Remus.

"I'm not," Hermione retorted back quickly. Remus smirked.

"I can smell fear, Hermione. Do not fear me," he murmured to her and wound his long fingers into her hair and tilted her head back a bit.

Hermione's eyes darted around his face taking in his handsome features, and when her eyes landed his slightly parted lips she unconsciously licked hers. That seemed to be the right thing to do, because the next thing she knew she was fighting for breath.

Remus' sweet lips were once again on hers and she melted into the sensation, tightening her arms around him, pulling him closer to her, feeling his muscled chest on hers. She moaned when he slammed her to the refrigerator again and pushed his hips on hers. He was hard. Her hands started to roam his muscled back. His kisses started to wander; he licked his way to her ear and lightly bit on earlobe. She hissed to the sensation, and gripped his sweater tightly when he started to lick his way to her neck, biting softly on it. A whimper escaped her lips and she threw her head back giving him more space. Her legs shook when he licked between her breasts and she cried out arching her back.

In slow motions Remus started to bring them down to the floor; Hermione was on top of him. She straddled him and he grabbed her by her hips. His hands started to move up her back under her shirt, and then it went down and tugged on it. Hermione helped him to take off her shirt, than they started to take off Remus' shirts, between heated kisses. Everything was seemed to go slowly for them, but they were moving real fast.

Their lips met for a very hot and sensual kiss which was accompanied with moans and dry-humping by the two of them, Hermione threw her head back and moaned, and Remus licked her collarbone. He then unclasped her bra and hauled it away from them. He took a nipple in his mouth and sucked on it hard. Hermione cried out and then hissed grabbing him by his shoulder, arching her back to his mouth. His other hand started to touch her from outside her jeans. The sensation was crazy.

Hermione lightly pulled on Remus' hair and made him look at her; his eyes held so much heat that Hermione shivered lightly. She started to let her hands move down to his jeans; she started to unbutton in with one hand and with the other hand she pushed him back, making him to lie on his back. She let her hand go down under his underwear. When she took him in her hand he heard him hiss. She leaned in and kissed his nipple, licking and sucking on it till it was hard, she did the same to the other one, and when she finished with his nipples, Remus was gasping for breath.

Remus knew what she was going to do when she started to kiss his stomach, and then his navel. He arched his back when she finally let his erection out of his underwear. He looked down and saw Hermione watching him, she licked her lips and then, without breaking eye contact she licked him long and hard, from the base to the top, playing with the head for a bit, then she started to take him into her mouth, and Remus' brain turned into a mush.

She was doing everything slowly, as if she was tasting him, and tasting her too. When her small nose touched his navel he looked at her and the sight made him gasp; he was fully inside her mouth, he could feel her throat spasming around his cock, and then slowly she started to move up, her mouth around him sucking on it so hard that he cried out when she sucked at the head. She moved down and up for a few times, and then Remus was moving with her. He grabbed fistful of her hair, to just have something to grab. Her movements did not falter for a second when she started to twirl his balls in her hand, squeezing them. He groaned low in his chest, but then the groan turned into a whimper, then to a cry as he came into her mouth.

Hermione took everything that Remus gave her, licking everything that she missed. When she was done she kissed the top of his head and moved up his body again and kissed him fully on the mouth. His response was immediate. He kissed her in a hungry way that made her blood boil in heat…

Their evening and night was spent devouring each other in every way they always fantasized about.

Later when the both of them were finally spent, and they were lying on the kitchen floor, Remus on top of Hermione, he murmured into her ear, "As long as you'll want me, I'll stay with you, Hermione."

Hermione looked at him, her eyes shining with hope, "Promise?"

"Promise," whispered Remus and kissed her lips again, but at the back of his mind he was thinking about Tonks, and how much it would hurt her if he had broken everything off with her; once and for all. He just hoped he'd have the heart to do that.


	12. Chapter 12

_*frowns*_

**Chapter 12:**

Weeks passed by with a blur for both parties; it was spent with tangled sheets around themselves, occasional bathroom uses, and eating lunch and that was it.

Hermione never thought that she'd feel like this ever again.

The way Remus would hold her close to him, moving in and out of her roughly, it felt like she was in heaven. The way he'd kiss her lips and make his way down her body, would make her light-headed. The way he'd casually take her hand in his, whenever they would go out to just walk around the park in the light breeze of autumn afternoon, was an electric shock for her.

Now here they were, once again in the park, under a very soft and warm sun, sitting on the bench, which was mostly covered with dry leaves. Remus had a small smile on his face as he saw a beautiful little girl playing with leaves, shrieking loudly and laughing, throwing them here and there, listening to crunches as she walked in them, looking curiously at her feet, her face shining with curious questions.

"She's funny," commented Remus, lightly.

"Yeah, she is," replied Hermione smiling, and looked at the girl, her smile faltered a bit. This did not go unnoticed by Remus.

"Hermione, do you take any kinds of medicine?"

"No," answered Hermione and shook her head, "When the doctor said, about my condition, I think I heard him say that there was something…but," she shrugged, and looked at Remus, "I wasn't listening to him, I just walked out of the room and…now, here I am; with three percent hope of getting pregnant one day."

Remus blew out a breath and threw an arm around Hermione, making her to get closer to him. Hermione shivered lightly and placed her head on his shoulder. The both of them sat and looked at the still playing little girl.

"You could've been a great mum, Hermione," whispered Remus.

"I know," she whispered back. "I used to think what I'd do if I had a daughter or a son, I even thought of names for them. But now…" she shrugged again, and closed her eyes, sighing, "I don't really care what I will have, as long as I can produce a baby, and if I have that chance in my life, I want him or her to be healthy. And the kid will be the happiest kid in the world."

Remus was silent for a long time, that Hermione started to get the same uneasiness whenever Remus would stay silent. She never forgot what Sirius told her about Remus; was he really going to leave her for Tonks one day? Should she ask him now about it? No; she shouldn't. They were having a perfect time together, and she didn't want to jinx it, by saying or asking wrong things.

"Sirius is worried," commented Remus.

"Why?" she stiffened a bit, but not noticeably.

Remus shrugged lightly and said, "He thinks that I might leave you, and you'd be broken once again, without a hope of repairing you back to normal."

_Well_, thought Hermione, _he got that part right._ "Why he thinks that? Are you going to leave me?"

"No," came the simple reply from Remus.

"No," echoed Hermione, but that simple answer did not settle Hermione's heart and nerves. Her mind was once again racing.

Sirius told her that Remus was with Tonks, like years back, but now they weren't together. But they had sex when Tonks returned from her so said 'vacation'. But what was she, Hermione, for Remus? Was she some sort of a leftover? Or was she some kind of a personal 'whore' for him whenever he needed to release his tension?

"What am I to you?" whispered Hermione, looking at the now falling leaves.

"hm?" Remus was absorbed in his own thoughts, when Hermione asked him a question.

"I asked," Hermione looked up at Remus' face, "What am I to you?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" asked Remus playing with a lock of her hair, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Am I someone important to you?" asked Hermione, her eyes welling up with tears, Sirius' voice still firmly in her head, telling her about Remus. The silence grew tense, and Hermione started fearing that, maybe, Sirius was right. She frowned and pulled back; she blinked several times, and whispered, "Well, that answers my question…" before Remus could utter a word she grabbed her bag, looked over at the still playing kid, walked away from him; without even looking back.

Why did this happen to her? Was it fate for her to stay alone for the rest of her life? Or to fall for someone and not receiving the warmth that she so wanted to feel again?

Despite her efforts to keep her tears at bay, one stubborn tear slid down her cheek. She turned a corner and was about to wipe it away, but she heard a hurried footsteps. Turning around, expecting to see Remus, but it wasn't Remus; it was Sirius. A heart-breaking sob left her lips and she threw her at Sirius, who readily gathered her in his arms.

"Shush, Herms, I've got you," he whispered into her ear, his hands softly running at her back, soothing her. He looked around him, wanting to see where his friend was, but didn't find him. He frowned and pursed his lips. "Let's get you home."

* * *

><p>"Are you out of your fucking mind?" exclaimed Sirius, three hours later, at Remus. Who, as it seemed, wanted nothing more than drown him inside the bottle of fine Firewhiskey.<p>

"Leave me the hell alone, Sirius. You don't know a thing," mumbled Remus.

"Hah! I don't know a thing, do I? That's why Hermione is now with Harry and Draco, crying herself into hysterics."

"What did you want me to tell her?" grumbled Remus, "I can't lie to her."

"She asked the simplest question to you! Even an imp would know what to answer! You know that you do care for her; she's someone important to you! I mean what the hell?" Sirius was so angry at Remus that he threw his glass at the wall. He stalked towards his friends and forced him to look him in the eye, "Tell me, why you didn't tell her how you felt? Explain yourself."

"Because…I don't know, alright?" growled Remus and stood up from his chair, which tumbled down from the force. Sirius took a small step back; seeing Remus like this always ended up by a bruise or two. "I care for her a great deal, but I can't leave Tonks. And you know it perfectly well! I care about Tonks more than Hermione. She left us; she left me when I most wanted her, and now, you want me to take her like there wasn't anything wrong in the first place?"

"What do you mean 'she left me'?"

"When I was at Hogwarts, I could smell the arousal coming from her, and it was directed to me. The wolf inside me knew that she craved me," he sighed and calmed down a bit, "and after the war, when everything was over, and by Wizarding standards she was off age, I was ready to make my first move, but…she left."

"Remus," whispered Sirius, shocked, "Why didn't you tell her all this stuff? Damn it."

"I really don't know," groaned Remus; drowning down another glass of the liquid, slamming the glass down; he grabbed the fallen chair and righted it, he sighed heavily and hunched down on the table, seeing nothing.

"Remus…" whispered Sirius; the last time he saw his friend like this was after James and Lily's death. A whole different reason, but now…it was for a woman, _women_ to be more specific. "Remus, you know that…at some point you'll have to make a choice…but choose wisely…"

"I know Padfoot, I know…and it kills me that I have to choose one of them…the wolf inside me craves her, I want her too, I really do…but something holds me back…"

"Dora…" filled in Sirius, his voice low almost breathless. Remus only nodded.

* * *

><p>After that. everything went back to normal…well almost. Hermione was still depressed about what happened to her, she didn't know if she could take another low-blow from anyone in her life.<p>

Draco was very helpful. After work she'd go to him, and just talk to him about her day. He'd listen to her, if there was something he'd have to say he would, if not he'd just say, "Well, tomorrow, same time." He became her personal psychologist, though he had never learnt the subject, but he told her, years back, that he'd get real bored at the Manor, and he always wanted to learn this subject, so he just started reading books about it. And then he started to help himself to get out from his depression, whenever he'd have one. Now he helped Hermione, which Hermione considered a very nice move from the former Slytherin.

One day though no one could help her.

She was sitting for herself in her small kitchen sipping a tea; there was a loud knock on her front door. She wasn't expecting anyone, frowning she walked towards the front door, and when she opened she held back a gasp. There stood, with brightly pink hair, wearing mismatching clothes, was none other than Nymphadora Tonks.

"Tonks, hi," squeaked Hermione.

"Hello, Hermione," she replied, her voice sounding odd with what she was wearing.

"Come in," Hermione ushered her to the living room and after a moment she was back with a tray of tea.

"I'm sorry that I didn't call you, but I had to talk to you," started Tonks, Hermione's movements slowed and her mind raced; what is she going to talk about? "It's about Remus…and you."

"huh?"

"Don't you dare to deny it, Hermione, I know something has happened between you two," said Tonks, her voice strong, not wavering an inch.

"I don't know what you are talking about…" said Hermione, not looking at Tonks.

"I heard him speak with Sirius the other day," interrupted Tonks, "and they were talking about you."

"Talking about me?"

"Yes," replied Tonks casually.

"Everyone talks about me," said Hermione, her voice quivering a bit as she tried to deny it.

"Oh yes, everyone does Hermione, but not them…they were talking about you like you were some kind of a slut or something…"

"No," whispered Hermione, she looked sharply at Tonks, whose face was impassive.

"Yes, they talked very dirtily about you, especially Remus…I wouldn't even think about him," said Tonks, and looked at her watch, "I should probably go." She grabbed her purse and coat, when she was getting ready she looked at Hermione and said, "Don't beat yourself up for a stupid man, Hermione."

"I'm not," mumbled Hermione her mind numb.

"Whatever," said Tonks casually and when she was about to get out of the living room, she looked back.

Hermione looked like she was about to choke her to death, she looked too pale for anyone's like, but her. Her eyes were shining as she held back her tears…and the surprising thing for the former Hufflepuff, was that she didn't feel any pity or regret of what she was about to tell her. But was she capable of saying those words? When she thought about it, she knew that she could utter those words…she loved him, and she wasn't going to lose him to this…girl. He was hers, and that was it, no one would take away him from her…she would be certain of it.

She took a deep breath and said, "What I am about to tell you, Hermione, is going to be for the first and the last time. I don't really care what will happen to you, but know it, that Remus already chose me…and I'm not going to lose him once again…especially not to you."

She looked hard at the now shaking girl, and turned on the spot disapparating away.


	13. Chapter 13

_so i signed up in Wattpad, posted this fiction there, and because I had to make a bookcover for it...I made one. go check the link for the pic in my profile. enjoy..._

**Chapter 13:**

"This one is cute."

"That one looks like he's bored out of his mind."

"This one looks like he'd run into the wall face-first."

"I had one of those, he died…poor thing."

"Ok, what about this one?" exclaimed Kate holding out a small grey-blue colored, smiling kitten out of her basket. The four friends were out trying to buy a cat for Hermione; Draco's orders.

"The Chartreux cat," said Hermione and walked towards the said kitten, which was looking at Hermione like she was the most interesting thing. Hermione smiled at her softly, and took her in her arms; the cat instantly started to purr, which was surprising, "They tend to not to make many noises, but…" she shrugged. Emma, Sofa and Kate hovered closely and watched Hermione, who seemed to be lost in some kind of thought.

Sofa cleared her throat, bringing Hermione back to the present, "So, you take her?"

Hermione looked at the cat more closely; she was beautiful, she was a bit fat, but her fur was soft and lovely. She settled on Hermione's arms more comfortably and closed her eyes, purring all the time. Hermione smirked and looked up at her friends, "I'll take her."

They all sighed a great sigh of relief and started to wander off in the animal store, taking; cat food, a lovely purple home-leash, a soft comfy, and two bowls. They walked towards the counter and Hermione paid for her stuff.

"They are very playful and friendly," the cashier said, as she wrapped Hermione's stuff, "They are healthy. When they grow they can be as useful as dogs, you know? You can send them to fetch anything you'd like."

"Really?" Hermione asked surprised. She looked down at the now, happily sleeping cat and smiled again.

"Yup," replied the cashier and passed Hermione's purchase.

"Thank you," replied Hermione and left the animal store with her friends.

"Now," said Sofa brightly, "Where to?"

"I don't really know," said Hermione, frowning, "Draco only said to buy a pet for me; he said that it'll be good. I bought it, now I'm lost."

The three friends looked at each other uneasily. This was not the Hermione they used to know. Emma spoke next, "Well, if you don't know, then I do," as she said this a mischievous grin marked her face.

"No, you don't," protested Kate, groaning.

"It'll be fun!" said Sofa, already catching up with Emma's mood.

"I don't want to; Cathy will be with me tonight, I don't know if I can come, and Sir-" but she faltered at the name, and looked at Hermione, who was looking at her impassively. Kate cleared her throat and continued, "And Sirius will be with me tonight, he said he'd like to meet with Cathy."

"That's really nice of him," murmured Hermione. She knew all too well why he wanted to meet with Cathy, even though she was a girl, and not a boy. "Sirius loves children that is why he wants to meet with Cathy. And I assume that he told you about…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, he did," murmured Kate and looked at Emma. "So, that's why I can't go out with you all tonight."

"Oh well, you all are no fun," Emma said and shrugged.

"Hey!" shrieked Sofa, and punched Emma's arm playfully.

"Alright, alright, not all of you," she said smiling. "Well, I'll go with Sofa and Irina."

"Who's Irina?"

"Her new girlfriend," replied Kate and watched amusedly as Emma blushed a bit.

"Not a girlfriend, just…a small thing."

"Yeah, yeah," the girls replied sarcastically, Emma only rolled her eyed.

* * *

><p>"I'm worried about her," said Harry, and shifted in bed; feeling the tight muscles of his husband on his back.<p>

"I'm worried about her too, no need to tell me that every few minute, scar-head," mumbled Draco, while kissing the back of Harry's head.

"She's going to do something stupid, I don't know what, but I feel it…" said Harry worriedly, and turned on his back. Draco captured his lips by his and kissed him thoroughly. Harry moaned into his mouth, thanking all the Gods above for sending Draco to him. He knew how to distract him from thinking into things too much.

Draco pulled back slightly and gazed down at Harry lovingly, "You know that I love you and I love the fact that you think of your friends so much, but please, stop thinking for a minute and let us be together…"

"But we are together…"

Draco shook his head and closed his eyes, breathing softly, "We are physically, but not mentally…you know what I mean right?"

Harry looked at Draco's loving and caring eyes, and after a minute nodded again and leaned up to kiss his husband's cherry lips. The afternoon was spent by leaving on each other's body as much love bites as possible.

* * *

><p>"Hermione, are you sure? Are you hundred percent sure about this?" Kate asked worriedly as she watched how the hairdresser made Hermione's hair up into a ponytail and took the scissors.<p>

"I'm positive; it's time for me to change, completely this time…"

"I really don't think this is wise-"

"If the girl wants to cut her hair, than let her," said the hairdresser and looked at the mirror and to Hermione, "I think you are doing the right thing. I can see that…you need some changes," Kate huffed out a breath and walked away, to sit on the couch, flipping through a magazine and not looking at Hermione. "I know which style will suit you best," continued the girl.

"Do whatever you'd like; I'm cool with it," replied Hermione and took a deep breath.

Thirty minutes later Hermione was looking at herself in the mirror with awe. Kate was beside her and she wore the same expression as Hermione.

"You look…different," commented Kate.

"I feel different," breathed Hermione. Her hair was cut short, very short, and she looked like a boy OR a very sexy little kitten. She liked to think of her as 'sexy little kitten' and nothing more.

"Well, you should," said a man's voice right behind Hermione. She whipped around and came face to face with non-other than Sirius Black. "It suits you," he said simply and shrugged his shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione said; she felt…weird, having Sirius close to her. It was a bad weird, it was…good, like a heavy weight just left her shoulders when she saw him. She flew to him instantly and hugged him, she didn't know why, but small part of her always craved to have Sirius close to her.

"I was just passing by and I saw Kate here…" he nodded towards her, still hugging Hermione to him, which seemed didn't want to let him go…not yet. "And I thought I saw you too Hermione, turns out I was right. Why the sudden change?"

"I don't really know, it was just an impulse of want to change my appearance…and I did," she said and pulled back, "am I good looking now?"

"You were always good looking Hermione, but damn…" he said, "I mean, you look hot…"

"Oh shut up," said Hermione, blushing.

"No, I mean it," argued Sirius, and added as if an afterthought, "If I wasn't 'busy' with someone else, I'd totally go for you," Kate giggled by their side and walked closer to them. "Hello gorgeous," mumbled Sirius and kissed Kate's cheek.

Hermione smiled softly to herself, she loved Kate, and seeing her and Sirius happy together was something she wanted to see every day. She smiled softly as Sirius started flirting with Kate shamelessly and Kate in turn, flirted back. The both of them looked so good together. Her smile faltered as she realized just how much she had missed Remus. After the day in the park, after Remus' silent confession she tried to deny the heavy weight of the longing that she felt towards him…she wanted nothing more but just erase the days that she had spent crying over him and start everything over. She wanted nothing more from Remus but come back to her…

She mentally sighed and looked at the floor, what would really happen to her if she'd stay lovers with Remus? _A heartbreak…_a small voice whispered into her mind. Yes, she had to agree with that. It wasn't because the sex was good and Remus could talk endlessly about interesting things, it was the fact that she felt something towards him. She wanted him to love her, to hold her hand whenever they'd go out, she wanted him to wait for her in their home, she wanted him to leave that Tonks and be with her.

Just to be with her…

But she couldn't have everything that she wanted from this life, not now…not ever. But she missed him. What would happen if she went to him, now, and gave him a proper goodbye? Longing…she'd long for him, even though she'd tell her not to, she will. Her eyes started to water just thinking about what she'd miss the most…his warmth engulfing her entirely. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed heavily, trying to calm her racing heart, it was good that Sirius and Kate were now eye-fucking each other, because they didn't see Hermione's sad face. She wiped her eyes hurriedly and looked up at her two friends.

"Ok, snap out of it you two, go and have some fun," said Hermione lightly and playfully shoved them out of the barber shop.

"But-"

"No "but"s Kate, we can meet another time and…anyways, just go," said Hermione as they walked out of the door.

"You are the best," said Kate and hugged her. Sirius gave Hermione a cheeky grin, winked at her and walked away with Kate by his side.

Hermione sighed and looked around her; the weather was lovely, it was one of the soft afternoons of autumn, there was a soft wind which smelled like rain, and Hermione thought that it'd be great if it would rain. She tilted her head up and took a deep breath from her nose and started walking down the road.

Instantly her thoughts turned into Remus. She wanted him, she missed him, and she was sure that she loved him, but she'd never tell him that. She yearned for him; it was like a raw need. She was like a hungry vampire set lose on people and Remus was the only person that she wanted to feed on. Without thinking further of what she was doing she struck her hand out and a taxi pulled over. She climbed in and gave the driver instructions. Her heart raced as she now thought what she was doing; she was once again running towards him. What if he wasn't alone? No he had to be alone…

The taxi pulled in front of the house that she missed so. She paid the driver and walked out of the car cautiously; the taxi instantly drove away, leaving her alone in the street. She took a deep breath and slowly made her way towards the front door. What was she really doing? Did she really want him to touch her the way he had been doing that night? Did she really have a heart to just have a good sex with him and then leave him? Yes, she did have a heart to do just that, because if you looked at it the other way, Remus did the exact thing towards her.

She took a deep breath again and cleared her mind of all thoughts, now it was not the time to think, at all. Her hands shaking, heart racing, with a ragged breath she knocked thrice on the door. Everything seemed to go in slow motions; she heard his shout when he called 'in a minute', she heard him swear colorfully, his voice like a soft silk to her ears, heard him bounding down the stairs to get the door, then there was a pause…that pause seemed to last forever, but it was only seconds.

And the door opened finally and there he was…as sexy and handsome as she remembered him; and all the emotions seemed to fly back into a full force…she remembered him moving inside her, remembered him groaning her name when he spilled his juices inside of her, remembered their first kiss…

She took another breath and said her voice a bit louder than she intended it to be, "Hello, mind if I come in?"

Remus was frozen for a minute, it seemed, but he recovered himself by moving to the side, in order to let Hermione come in…

_TBC_


	14. Chapter 14

_did you like the book cover? I haven't received a review about it, that's why I'm asking :)_

**Chapter 14:**

Hermione was nervous. Mad butterflies were flying in her stomach, she was feeling very sick, and she wanted nothing more than leaving his place. Right. Now. But she didn't…instead she sat in his living room waiting for him to finally come from the kitchen; he mumbled something about making a tea. Hermione was grateful for it, because it gave her time to think.

Why was she here? To sort out their feelings once and for all and see where they were standing at the moment. If Remus told her that he was with Tonks, how was she going to react? She'd be shocked to the core, that was for sure, but other than that she'd feel…Hermione sighed, she didn't know how she was going to feel if Remus told her that he was going to stay with Tonks, and even if he told her that he'd bring stars for her from the sky above, or something like that, she'd never speak to him or see him. Hermione pursed her lips and started to fidget in her seat.

What if everything got out of the hand and they were on each other before she could do as much as sigh?

Her thoughts were interrupted when he finally returned with a tray of tea and homemade cookies in his hands. He smiled softly at her, which gave her heart a funny little jolt, than he sat by her side. Hermione poured her tea and started to drink it without adding a sugar or milk. She blew softly on the fog and started to look at the tea swirling in her mug like it was the most interesting thing in the world. There was a slight clearing of a throat and Hermione wrenched her eyes away from her cup to look at Remus, who was now looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Sorry," Hermione blushed and looked away again, "I was just thinking."

"About?" prompted Remus.

"Stuff…"

There was an awkward silence. She sipped her tea and thought for a moment, her fingernails lightly drumming on her mug. _Where do I start?_ She bit her lip and looked at Remus, who was looking at the coffee table, a light frown on his scarred face.

"Ok, I came here today to talk to you about," she swallowed and continued, "Us; if there was an 'us' to start with." She shook her head lightly, and said, "I came here not to only talk about me and you, but to come to a decision to where this is going to. I don't want to sit at home and think about you 24/7 and not do anything about it. You hurt me. And I hurt you. Good, we are even on the 'hurt' part, but…my heart isn't strong enough, Remus. I don't want to be the second best, you know? If you're with…Tonks, than that's fine by me, but please just let me know if you are really with Tonks, because I live on the crossroads, not knowing which way to take from now and here."

Remus' frown disappeared and there was the expressionless mask that she so hated, she couldn't tell what he was thinking, and then he finally asked, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to do anything, I just want to know the truth if you are with Tonks or not."

"Yes," came his simple reply.

"You are with Tonks?" asked Hermione; feeling a heavy weight dropping on her heart, she couldn't breath properly now.

"Yes."

"Oh." Breathed out Hermione and looked out of the window; the soft afternoon sun that was outside, was gone. In its place were angry grey skies; a lightning bolt struck so hard that Hermione jumped a bit. She always hated the storm. She gritted her teeth and wrapped her arms around her, closing her eyes tightly as another thunder struck the skies.

There was some warmness which was pressing on her back, then with the same amount of warm arms were wrapping around her. Pulling her closer, Remus rested his head on her shoulder. She visibly relaxed now when she felt Remus hugging her from her back. She closed her eyes and sighed, letting her get comfortable on his firm chest. Remus nuzzled his cheek with hers as another one struck, and then the rain started.

"Your hair looks nice," Remus commented lightly.

Hermione chuckled, "It's different, I know. But I like it, and…I feel confident in some reckless way, than I was before. I wanted some kind of change, and I decided not to get a new tattoo or a piercing, but to cut my hair short. I love it."

"I'm sure you do," Remus murmured, and they settled into a comfortable silent; listening to the soft sound of the rain that was still pouring outside.

"You want her, don't you?" finally asked Hermione, when they were silent for too long. She felt him nod. Hermione swallowed and said, her voice thick with suppressed emotions, "So, why did you promise me that you'd always be there for me?"

"I told you I'd be there for you, whenever you'll need me," murmured Remus, "and I will be."

"But I…" she blew a shaky breath out and held Remus' hand in hers, lacing their fingers together, tightening his hold on her, "I don't want you to leave me, I wanted this...us, to be together, but I was only dreaming, wasn't I?"

Remus had no answer for it.

"I'll have to leave you, won't I?" murmured Hermione.

She heard him sigh, and tightened his hold on her once again. Hermione let her head rest at the crook of his neck, closing her eyes she breathed softly, loving the smell of him, "I know it will be hard on you, it will be hard for me too, but…I don't know how to explain you why I'm doing this, but I…"

"You want her," Hermione answered simply, a small numbness was starting to settle on her chest.

"I think I do…but the wolf…" his voice faded away, and his one hand which was lying on her side started rubbing slowly and softly up and down. Hermione felt his breath into her ear, and then he spoke, "The wolf wants another…person. Another woman…" he growled the last word, and nipped lightly on her earlobe.

Hermione's whole body tightened; her hand catching his other hand in hers, tightening her hold on it, and she hissed. She slowly released her breath, she liked the way he made her feel; she shifted in her seat a bit and looked at Remus' on the face. He was looking at her with passion that Hermione tingled with pleasure. She looked deeply into his eyes; his eyes…she was going to miss him.

"The wolf…" he whispered his voice low, almost hypnotizing her, "wants someone who had…some sort of an attraction towards him…" Hermione took a shuddering breath, closing her eyes as Remus softly touched her cheek, "I knew a girl when I went back to school to teach her for her 5th year…" Hermione shivered and from her closed eye a tear slipped down her cheek, "She was the brightest witch of her age. Everyone loved her, everyone respected her, and she was so oblivious to it all, it was adorable. One day, the wolf caught a scent on her, which was different from what I've ever smelled on her. That was the day I understood that Mooney wanted her…" his hand slowly made its way down and to her neck, his thumb lightly touching her jaw; his other hand's finger wiped away the tear that had slipped, "Mooney wanted you, Hermione," he whispered; Hermione's breath caught as she realized how close he was; she could feel his breath on her lips, "and he still does…"

Hermione's breath left her lungs completely as his lips softly brushed hers. Hermione realized that she had really and truly missed him. Remus' mouth was starting to get more confidence now as he started to take her lower lip into his mouth, suckling on it. Hermione's hands flew on his neck, gripping his hair in her hands, pulling him closer to her; the kiss instantly turned passionate. Hermione's tongue was the first one to make its way into the hot caverns of Remus' mouth, his tongue wasn't far behind as he started to play with hers. Hermione moaned softly at the back of her neck as she pressed her body to his; his hands left her face, wrapping them around her he crushed her to his chest, kissing and her all the way, leaving her wanting for more.

Hermione pushed him back and with swift movements was straddling his lap, her hands unbuttoning his shirt quickly; raking her nails on his scarred chest. He grabbed her by her thighs as she started to leave hot and open-mouthed kissed on his jaw line, towards his neck, under his ear, suckling on the sweet little spot that she knew liked to be kissed; feeling satisfied as his breath caught in his throat at the sensation. She started to kiss and lick a trail towards his firm chest, nipping and suckling on it, then one of his nipples was in her mouth and she bit at it softly; his head was thrown back and he whimpered at the sensation, hand gripping her thighs more tight.

She made it back to his mouth, kissing all the way, and plunging her tongue into his urgently. Moments later his shirt was being ripped off him, Hermione's following suit. She started working on his belt, and he unbuttoned her jeans; their hands shaking with excitement, and with forbiddingness of this whole mess. They knew that they should stop, but they couldn't, they were too far gone now, there was no turning back. Hermione stood up and kicked her jeans and panties down, Remus wiggled out of his pants and underwear, looking at Hermione exposed sweetness. When he was finished, his finger started to rub her clit, making her stumble forward, clutching on his shoulders, and screwing her eyes shut, a shuddering breath leaving her lips.

"Oh God, Remus…" she panted out, loving the sensation of his fingers on her. She parted her legs further as he slipped a finger inside her; she shuddered and threw her head back, a strangled sound leaving her lips. He felt her tighten on his finger, with the other hand he unclasped her bra, and started to play with her erect nipple, making her to cry out in ecstasy.

"Cum for me Hermione," he whispered so low, it was almost a growl. The wolf inside him wanted nothing more than to be released; he was rock hard, the wolf was impatient, Remus was in-between those two. "Now…"

With a shudder and a cry Hermione collapsed on Remus, crashing their lips together. The kiss was messy, hot and passionate. Remus slipped the finger which was covered in Hermione's white juice, into their mouths and Hermione moaned once again; she could taste her and Remus at the same time, and it excited her beyond belief. She pushed him back once again, straddling his hips, taking him into her hand; she stroked him twice and made him go into her in one swift motion. The both of them shuddered and choked on their own breaths as he was inside of her in one move. He gripped her thighs again, she was sure that he was leaving a huge bruise behind, but she didn't care; she wanted the pain and the hurt, and the passion that she was feeling right now to last forever.

Then she moved; it was slow and teasing, she wanted to remember this; to remember how it felt to feel his rock hard cock moving inside her, she wanted to feel how her lips flattered every time he'd hit a soft spot inside of her. Her movements started to move faster, he was meeting her thrusts with his own movements. An ear splashing thunder could be heard outside, but they didn't give it a second thought.

"Harder…" panted Remus hotly into her ear as she hugged him closer to her, not wanting to let go, not yet. But she moved harder and faster, obeying his wish. He could feel his heart beating fast, like he had run a marathon. She wanted to feel it forever on her chest. "God…Hermione…" he gripped her face and kissed her lips messily, teeth clashing together in an erotic way that Hermione almost whimpered.

Remus shifted; with one swift move they were once again on the floor, Hermione's legs on Remus' shoulder, and he was thrusting into her with hard, fast, raw and passionate moves, growling at the back of his neck. It seemed like Mooney was controlling Remus' mind; and Hermione shuddered at the thought. She wanted to_ feel_, and Mooney was obeying her thoughts.

Remus leaned forward hitting a very deep sweet spot inside Hermione, and she cried out, her lips parting in silent awe. Her eyes caught Remus', and saw as he bit on his lower lip, screwing his eyes shut and then opening them, his hips movements never faltering. Hermione loved seeing him like this; he looked so…inhuman, that it was enticing. She wanted nothing more than to let him move inside her…forever.

"About…to cum," his voice growled and Hermione started to meet his rough thrusts with her own moves.

"Then cum…cum for me…" she whispered, breathlessly. She watched, mesmerized as he closed his eyes, his face turning into one of the agony, and then…the both of them cried out.

The orgasm was shuddering. It was like Hermione was being filled with strong waterfall. His mouth launched on her nipple and he sucked on it greedily, as he moved his hips riding out his orgasm. And then he collapsed on Hermione. He turned his head to her neck, and tried to breathe normally. Their hearts beating like mad, breaths ragged and incredibly satisfied, cuddled together on the floor, hugging each other close, frightened of letting go one another. Hermione placed her head on his chest and breathed out as her heart race turned to normal once again.

She felt him. She felt him cum inside her, she felt him moving inside of her, she felt him…his whole body, cock, chest, arms, legs, everything. He was etched into her mind, and she wasn't going to forget about him, not now…not ever. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, his fingers started to softly run on her bare back, as she lightly shuddered.

"Cold?" his voice was low, hesitant. Hermione shook her head, not trusting her voice. She knew if she spoke she'd cry, so she knew the only thing to do, she tightened her hold on him, kissed his chest, and closed her eyes, and few minutes later, she was sound asleep.

It was way past midnight when Remus stirred; there was some sort of a beeping sound coming from somewhere. He blinked several times and looked at Hermione, who was still clutching him, tight to her. He smiled softly, but the beeping sound didn't go away. He then realized that it was probably Hermione's mobile, he lightly shook her and kissed her forehead.

"Hermione, love, it's your phone…Hermione…" he whispered softly to her. A moment later with a deep breath Hermione sat upright, looking adorably cute; looking around her sleepily like she was lost or something.

"Hm? What?" she mumbled as Remus sat beside her.

"It's your phone…"

"Oh…" Hermione whispered and walked towards her purse which was innocently sitting at the chair at the back of the living room. She rummaged in it a bit and locating her phone, she looked at the name on it and mumbled, "Its Emma," and answering it.

"Hello?"

"Hermione?" Emma's voice sounded tense.

"Yes, what is it?"

"It's Sofa…" the way Emma said her friend's name, it seemed to be enough for Hermione to understand what really happened.

_TBC, sorry sweethearts! I'll update as soon as I can!_


	15. Chapter 15

_i'm craving for a feedback..._

**Chapter 15:**

Hermione sat on the cold linoleum floor in the hospital, looking dully at an ant who was trying desperately to find a whole so he could go in there and hide from big people that walked closely to him.

Hermione wanted to hide…she wanted nothing more than hide from people who were surrounding her, but there was no one around her…she was left alone.

Sophia.

Her lovely and beautiful friend, Sophia.

Why was life so cruel to her? Why was life doing this to her? Was she a bad person? She shook her head mentally, too numb with shock and grief to do it physically. She didn't even know what to do…so much death has been in her past life that she thought it was enough, but as it seemed, God had other thoughts.

"She had an overdose from drugs. It was too late and we couldn't help her, I'm really sorry, but Sophia passed away…"

The doctor said this sentence in one breath, never faltering, never swallowing, not a twitch of an eye...nothing at all. That's when Hermione understood that life was too cruel to her and not only to her. She wanted nothing more than to punch the doctor's calm face…to just see some sort of a reaction. She was going to, oh yes she had raised her fist to just punch his face, but someone grabbed her arm and waist and pulled her away from the doctor. She screamed and yelled and cursed, quiet colorfully, but that someone never released her until they were safely far away from harm.

And here she was; on the cold floor of the hospital, still looking at the ant, not moving, not twitching…feeling hollow and sick and numb. She wanted to sleep, she was too exhausted, emotionally, and she wanted to curl up in her bed, hugging her pillow to her and just sleep for days. But she couldn't move an inch.

Remus sat far away from her, observing. She looked smaller, an hour ago she was alive, and she was in his arms, throwing her head back moaning and bucking at him…but now, she looked like the girl he knew at school; small, scared and sad Hermione, but with short hair, and tattoos, and piercings. Ok she had changed…he had to admit to that, finally.

He wanted to go to her, comfort her grief, but knew better. Because tonight they said goodbye to each other and him and her didn't have anything in common now. Sirius and Harry were the only connection to the both of them, but that didn't mean that they could just erase everything that had happened between them and act like there didn't happen anything. Remus sighed and looked at Hermione again. Her face was blank and he was surprised to see that she didn't have any tears in her eyes.

Remus stood up swiftly and walked towards her; he kneeled down in front of her, but she didn't lift her eyes. Remus studied her face for a minute, than ever so slowly leaned in and kissed her temple. Her face twisted into an annoying look and Remus sighed. He stood up again looked at her and left swiftly, not looking back, not knowing that when he walked away a tear escaped her eye and she bit her lip to prevent the rising sob that was choking her.

* * *

><p>It was raining. Big droplets of water were cascading from the sky above, soaking every surface that was lying open to it. Twenty five odd women and men were rounded upon a black looking coffin, in which lay a motionless beauty with the name of Sophia.<p>

At the front raw of the group standing side by side were; Emma, with her now new boyfriend Aidan, Kate with Sirius holding her hand tight, her shoulders were shaking from the sobs that were wracking her body, lips trembling, and beside Sirius standing with one hand in his pocket and with the other holding on a numb girl were Harry and Hermione, on the other side of Hermione was Draco, who had his arm slang upon Hermione's shoulder. The rain was pouring heavily on them, and they stood there socking through their clothes, wet, and cold. But they didn't mind the cold. Their hearts were already as cold as a stone. They welcomed the rain in this day of grief.

The coffin was slowly being pushed down the earth and Kate's loud sobs didn't alter for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>Christmas came and went without as much as a blink. The day was filled with wine and endless Champaign, lots of kisses and hugs and wishes to one another. Hermione spent the first hours with Draco and Harry but when she saw their desire growing for each other every passing minute she left them alone and went to the club where everyone were celebrating their nights away. She thanked the Gods that she wasn't working this day, because she knew that she didn't have a heart for so many erected men that eyed everyone hungrily. And she did the only thing that she really wanted to do tonight, which was walking under the falling snow till she was exhausted and turned back home.<p>

On her way home she saw couples walked around the streets, laughing and kissing and…at some points, making out on the pour street lamps. And Hermione just smiled and walked towards her final destination. As she rounded yet another corner she stopped dead in her tracks, her smile left her face instantly.

There they were, linked by arms, walking down the street, looking so…very much in love. Hermione's breath left her in a whoosh and she staggered back into the dark alleyway, breathing heavily; her lungs and heart not communicating with her. She clapped a hand to her mouth, then hesitantly looked out the alleyway seeing them laughing on something, hugging each other tight, and then their lips met…

Hermione, with a hiss, backed back to the alley and started to walk from there. She didn't care that some of the very drunk young men were leaving crude remarks after her; she didn't care if they took her right then and there, all she wanted to do was to go home, as soon as she could. Her stomach tightened and she felt the tell tale sign of the sickness in her stomach. She quickened her pace to get home as soon as she could, to not make a foul of herself in the street, though it was deserted. Finally she could see her building and she broke into a run. She ran up the stairs, banged open her front door, and not caring about undressing first she ran towards the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. Her eyes stung with tears, she couldn't breathe, she wanted nothing more than this…this pain to end already.

She was dry heaving already when she broke into loud sobs. Her eyes screwed shut as she remembered them; hugging, lips meeting, laughing together under the falling snow, caressing each other faces; like they did so many weeks ago.

Hermione shook violently and she crumpled to the floor shivering and sobbing to the cold floor of her bathroom. The sadness was too much to bear and she all but blacked out.

* * *

><p>Hermione woke up with a splitting headache. She lied on her back and looked at the ceiling above. She wasn't cold anymore, she felt warm, and the soft familiar sheets engulfed her body. She sighed and started to stretch, but it seemed not the best idea. She grabbed the bowl that sat innocently at her nightstand, not remembering when it was brought there, and wretched. Someone was at her side in an instant, smooth hands running through her short hair, caressing her forehead, and then rubbing her back, as she wretched again. She was already dry heaving when that same person gave her a tissue and she blew her nose. She looked up and felt a great rash of gratitude towards Sirius, who was standing right next to her bed. She tried to smile up at him but hiccupped instead, and looked down embarrassed.<p>

"Sorry," she mumbled and grimaced at her own vomit.

"Don't," he replied quickly and hesitantly took the bowl from Hermione's hand, not sure if she was going to turn her stomach out or not. Hermione silently shook her head; Sirius nodded and took it to the bathroom. Hermione sighed and looked down at her body. She was changed into her pyjamas, something that she didn't remember doing. Maybe Sirius took it on him to change her; she was supposed to feel a bit embarrassed that Sirius saw her like that, but she didn't, she just lightly shrugged her shoulders.

Sirius came back to the bedroom, with a soup. Hermione grinned at him, and he mock glared at her. "When did you start cooking, Sirius?"

"When I started to date Kate. No, more specifically when I started to meet with Cathy," he said it so casually that Hermione couldn't help the giggle that left her lips. "Really, the kid eats like there's no tomorrow. How can one small body bare all those food?"

"Well, she is a kid, and kids can bare all food, lots more than us, because they are growing up," Hermione took a mouthful of her soup and she closed her in a second. The soup was incredible. "I hope you made a lot of it, because I know that I'm going to need one more bowl."

Sirius smirked at her and sat at the foot of the bed and watched silently as Hermione ravished away her first bowl. Three bowls more followed suit and Hermione never felt this fool in her life, but she still wanted more…which was odd. "Hm…I still want to eat, you know?" she murmured and pointedly stared at Sirius. Well, Sirius being Sirius Black, lifted the bowl from her lap placed it on the nightstand and leaned in to kiss Hermione. She kissed him back, not bothering to swallow her moan that left her lips. She teased his lips with her tongue and he opened his mouth, letting Hermione in. When the kiss turned into a more passionate one, Hermione pulled away and breathed heavily. What was she doing? This was Sirius, who was dating her friend, who she loved very dearly.

She looked down and her cheeks flushed crimson, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," said Sirius and looked around the bedroom, "I should be the one to apologize."

"No, no…" Hermione shook her head, unwanted tears brimming her eyes, "I have to apologize, I did this, and I didn't want to, I'm sorry."

"Hermone…" Sirius whispered and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Sshh, it's alright, I got you…"

"Everything seemed so perfect for me a month ago, but now…" Hermione sobbed again. What was really happening to her she didn't know, but she didn't like it. She clutched to Sirius with both hands and cried into his chest, leaving a wet trail behind. Sirius didn't mind, he just held her to him, rubbing her back gently, murmuring soothing words, telling her that everything was going to be alright, she just had to wait for it; happiness would come to her one day, and she'll embrace it with her arms, she'd love that happiness, even if it'd be a small thing, she'd welcome it.

Hermione knew that Sirius was telling the truth; she would have the happiness that she had been craving for all these years, and she was ready to welcome it.

One month had passed with the same routine. Hermione would wake up and throw up, and Draco, Harry or Sirius was by her side every morning. Sometimes it'd be Emma or Kate, if they weren't working late at night or weren't busy. She loved the attention of her friends. Everyone knew what Hermione saw on the Christmas day and they all but silently agreed to not talk about it. Which was real fine with Hermione; she didn't want to talk about…_them._

The morning sickness turned into an afternoon and sometimes evening sickness too, and Draco had had enough and he decided to take Hermione to see a doctor, which she didn't want to see at all. She liked the sickness that she was feeling. It reminded her of…something that she had so many years ago. But it was a dangerous territory to think about so she, reluctantly, agreed with Draco.

And on the morning of a very chilly February, Draco and Hermione walked hand in hand towards the front doors of the hospital.


	16. Chapter 16

_The next chapter will be up in 3 to 4 days time, I've hit to an end, ie: no beta'd chapters, yet. I'll have to take them to my beta reader, whenever I'll have time that is. I hope you'll still be with me when I'll update the new chapters.  
>but for now, enjoy and leave a review, eh? :)<br>PS: I've added a Poll on my Profile Page, I'd really like to get a vote on it. go check it? Please? _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16:<strong>

Hermione sat on the hard hospital chair and gripped Draco's hand, her feet twitching nervously, waiting for her turn to see the gynecologist. She was nervous, her mind was racing, and she didn't know what to really think; what if it was what she was thinking? What would happen to her? She knew who would baby's father be, but it still made her nervous to just think about it. What would he say if he knew that she was-

"Hermione Granger?" called a voice from the receptionist center.

"Come on," murmured Draco and both of them walked slowly towards the doctor's office door, accompanied with a young nurse.

"Doctor Cole, Hermione Granger is here to see you," said the nurse and opened up the door further enough for Hermione and Draco to slip in.

"Thank you, Liza," said Doctor Cole, then she indicated for Hermione and Draco to sit, "Have a seat."

The both of them sat and looked at the Doctor, Hermione twitched nervously. She cleared her throat, and said, "Doctor Cole, I don't know if you'll remember me, but I'm Hermione Granger, I used to come to you…"

Recognition and understanding passed through Cole's eyes and she smiled brightly, "Oh God, Hermione! You've changed so much! How are you? Where have you been?" she quickly looked at Draco then back at Hermione.

"I'm doing just fine, I'm…" she blew out a breath and relaxed a bit more, "I came here today, because I think that I might be…p-pregnant."

Cole's eyebrows flew up, "What?" she again looked at Draco, who was now clutching Hermione's hand harder than before, running his thumb on her knuckles.

"I think that I might be pregnant. I'm late from my period, and I have this morning sickness every day…" she trailed off and looked down at the floor. When she spoke her voice was quivering a bit, "Do you remember telling me that I might get pregnant and the chances were very slim?"

"Yes," Cole nodded and cleared her throat, before saying, "Only three percent."

Hermione nodded and turned and looked up at the Doctor's face, "I think that I used that three percent of chance and…" she finished helplessly. Draco tightened his hand on hers.

They sat in silence, as Hermione tried to gain her breathing back to normal. After a moment, Cole cleared her throat again and shuffled with some papers on her desk, seeking out a clear sheet of paper and while writing on it, said, "Give this pass to the nurse outside and she'll take you to get blood test from you, then go to ECG, we need to see what's happening inside you." She wrote something on the paper more and held it out. Hermione was frozen she couldn't will her to move her hand, so Draco took the pass and nudged Hermione to stand up.

Draco half supported Hermione to get to her destinations, and he was a nervous wreck himself, but Hermione kept telling him how thankful she was that it was him with her, because both of them knew how Harry would react. He would freak and start bumbling away incoherently. Hermione smiled weakly at Draco as he sighed in relief when she came out of the laboratory. He was never fond of seeing blood. They walked down the corridor towards the ECG room, and Hermione walked inside, closing the door after her, leaving Draco to stand beside the door. He pulled out his phone and ringed Harry.

"Hello?" when he heard Harry's voice he instantly felt better.

"Hey," he replied with a sigh.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine, Hermione's at ECG," said Draco and swallowed when he heard Harry's small intake of the breath.

"Is she ok?" his voice was worried.

"I think so…it's just small tests that she's in now. Doctor Cole told her to go and do these things, maybe it's the part of checking if she's, you know…pregnant or not," Draco still haven't got a clue with these Muggle tests, but he was learning…slowly.

"I think so…" Draco could picture Harry running his hand in his hair, making it look even messier then it already was. "Draco," he asked hesitantly, "do you think Hermione's alright? I mean…you know, do you think she's pregnant or something?"

Draco sighed and leaned across the wall, closing his eyes, "I really don't know, babe. But if she is…" he blew out a breath and continued, "If she is, then I'd want to keep an eye on her."

"Yes…I'd want her to live with us, so we can keep an eye on her, yes," said Harry, then after a minute he said, "But I don't think she'll allow us…"

Draco smiled and lightly chuckled, "Yeah, she'll put up a fight…" Harry laughed with him.

"I miss you, when are you going to get home?"

"In a bit, Hermione's still got to talk to her doctor…about something," said Draco, and at that moment Hermione walked out of the room, pulling her coat on.

"Ok, love and kiss you," said Harry and made a smooching sound, Draco smiled and laughed at Harry's childishness, his heart warming up at the gesture.

"Love you too, bye," Draco hung up and helped Hermione to get into her coat.

"Thanks," she smiled up at Draco, "Who was that?"

"Harry," said Draco and they started to walk towards Doctor Cole's office, "He is worried…maybe much more then I am."

"Nonsense," Hermione bristled and frowned, "you don't need to worry. Maybe I'm not pregnant and it's just some kind of a women problem…" Draco didn't comment, but only nodded.

"Oh, you've finished," Cole said as they walked in and sat opposite her from her desk, and nodded. "Good, now I need to check your blood pressure."

"Sure," Hermione took off coat, and then shoved up the sleeve of her left arm, making room for the machine.

After two minutes, Cole nodded, and took off the machine, smiling at Hermione. She wrote something on the paper, and said, "Your blood pressure is stable, which is good. Your final results will be ready by tomorrow; we will send a letter to your home. It will be easier that way."

Hermione nodded and stood up, Draco following suit, helping her once again, to pull on her coat. "Thank you, Doctor Cole," she said and walked out of the office. Draco politely nodded and followed Hermione out of the office.

"I need to go and visit my parents, would you…?" Draco heard the unspoken question, and he quickly nodded and placed his arm on her shoulder walking her towards the exit.

* * *

><p>They were worst then Hermione remembered. They looked tired, and thin, the hospital's white gown making them look even paler then they were. Hermione slowly walked towards them; they were supposed to be playing chess, again, the psychologist once said that the game of chess would help them to get their focus back, at least, but Hermione haven't seen any improvements at all. She sat beside them and took their hands in hers; which were cold. Hermione rubbed her other hand on them, trying to get some heat back, or to get their attention, but nothing happened, they stayed the way as they were before; immobile.<p>

Hermione didn't speak to them; she knew that it was fruitless. So she sat there and just…held their hands, until her heart would stop the erratic and anxious beating. She swallowed hard, and kissed their hands, placing them on the table she stood up on shaky legs and walked towards Draco who was watching her with an anxious face.

"He came here," a voice said behind Hermione and she stopped on mid-step. Her breath left her in one swift-whoosh and she turned back looking at her mother's face.

"What?" she asked weakly, her voice breathless.

"He came here," repeated her mum, her voice dull and numb, expressionless. "Remus."

"Rem…c-came…here?" stuttered out Hermione, and she felt her knees go weak. If it wasn't for Draco, she would've collapsed on the floor. Draco helped her on the chair, and peered at Hermione's face.

"Are you ok?" asked Draco, his voice as anxious as he looked.

Hermione ignored his question and looked at her mum, "What did he do?" asked Hermione weakly, praying to all Gods above for her mum to speak again.

"He just sat there and talked to us, said he was sorry for hurting our daughter," Hermione closed her eyes as she heard her mum speak, "I don't even know who my daughter is, I mean, I never had one. Did you know that I had a daughter?" her mum asked abruptly and looked at Hermione, with numb eyes, "And who are you again?"

Hermione stifled a sob by biting on it, hard. "Hermione," she heard Draco's voice, but couldn't respond to him; she even couldn't make her lips move. "Come on, I'll get you home, you've had enough."

"And who are you?" asked her mum turning around to look at Draco, "Who are you, the both of you? Where am I?"

"Mum," Hermione pleaded and got to her knees taking her mum's hand in hers. "Mum, please. Please, tell me you remember me! Mum I'm your Hermione. Yours! Mum."

"Hermione, come on," Draco's voice was tense and thick now, like he was holding back his tears, which would've spilled if he wasn't that proud. He took Hermione's elbows and heaved her up to stand. She was crying uncontrollably now.

"Mummy, please," she whispered for the last time, as the doctors rushed into the room, and chucked them out of the playroom, shutting the door after them, but not before Hermione heard her mother's piercing screams.

* * *

><p>"Hermione, please, you have to calm down. You know you can't stress out so much," pleaded Draco, as they sat in the backseat of the taxi, rubbing her arm comfortably and hugging her close to his side.<p>

"D-did you see her f-face?" hiccupped Hermione, and let out a loud sob.

"Could you please drive faster?" Draco growled at the driver; who promptly nodded his head and pushed on the gas with a bit more force. "Thank you," Draco turned back to Hermione, who was crying like mad now. "Hermione, please calm down. It's really not good for you," murmured Draco, his own emotions choking him, "You might be pregnant."

The only reply he got was a heart-wrenching hiccup. Draco didn't say anything, but continued to comfort her.

At the long last they arrived to Draco and Harry's building. Draco helped Hermione out of the car; she was now silent, and couldn't stand on her two feet. So Draco did the only thing he could; he heaved her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs towards their apartment, cradling her to his chest like a small child. She mumbled something, and settled her face in the crook of Draco's neck. He rubbed his cheek on her head and kicked open the door. Harry leaped to his feet as he saw his love carrying somewhat unconscious Hermione into the living room.

"What happened?" he asked breathlessly and hovered over Hermione's head.

"Just a small panic attack on the way home from hospital," when Harry looked alarmingly at Draco, he explained, "we went to see her parents after seeing Hermione's doctor. Her mum spoke," he heard Harry's small intake of the breath, and nodded, "Yes, I was shocked too. Anyway she said that Remus visited her, and told her that he was sorry that he had hurt her daughter and all that shit." Draco grimaced as Hermione sniffed and tightened her hold on him. "Stupid of him to do so, if you ask me," mumbled Draco, tightening his hold on her.

"We better put her in bed," murmured Harry and walked towards the spare room that they had for Hermione. Draco followed him silently; he knew how Harry felt for Remus and Hermione's mishap relationship. Remus was his father's best friend, and he was like his favorite uncle, but Hermione was his best friend, and it hurt him that he knew how they fell apart. He only wanted for Hermione to be happy, that's why he supported their relationship, but now that they broke up…

Draco placed Hermione on the bed, and took off her coat; she was asleep now. Harry took off her boots and both of them then wrapped her in the soft coverlet of the bed, then they kissed her forehead and left the room silently. When the door closed Harry, all, but threw him on Draco and hugged him close. Kissing his neck and under his jaw, wherever he could reach. Draco just held him tight, giving a silent comfort to his love.

"It'll be ok," Draco murmured to Harry, who sniffled, "It'll be all fine, don't worry. She's tough, Hermione. She'll come around, don't worry."

"I can't help but worry about her Draco," said Harry huskily, burying his face in the crook of Draco's neck, kissing it softly. "I hate it when she's like this…I just…I don't even…" Harry trailed off and took a calming deep breathes. After a moment of silence, Harry's asked, "Did you see her hair?"

"Yes I did," replied Draco chuckling. "It suits her."

"mmm" said Harry and kissed his neck again. "Draco?" his voice was small now.

"Yes?"

"Do you think that Hermione might be pregnant?"

Draco frowned, and sighed, "I don't really know, but I hope she is. She deserves that happiness."

"Like we do," mumbled Harry.

"In a few months, we'll adopt her…" Draco said, smiling now, his heart beating with excitement. "We'll be good parents." He said confidently.

"Of course we will," Harry pulled back and smiled up at Draco. "She'll be the most spoiled girl in the world."

"She will," agreed Draco, and when he leaned in and kissed Harry's rosy lips; he felt light hearted and happy, because he was now standing at the place, where he always wanted to be.

* * *

><p>The next morning the letter was waiting for Hermione at Draco and Harry's small kitchen. The both of them sat on the round table, looking at Hermione as she opened the letter with shaking hands. After few minutes of silence she smiled brightly. Her suspicious was confirmed. It was positive.<p>

She was pregnant.


	17. Chapter 17

_Hello lovelies, I'm back! :3 I'm working on my last chapters... and sorry for the long delay from my normally updating limit time..._

_thanks a bunch for the lovely reviews that you've left me._

_i ask you again to go and vote on the Poll that I've on my profile. that'd mean a lot to me, thanks again. Now:_

_enjoy and review..._

**Chapter 17:**

"I'm huge," Hermione complained to her friends, several months later, placing a spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth, and with the other hand scratching the back of her lovely kitten; which was purring in relaxation.

"You are not huge, and you are not fat, you are just pregnant," said Kate as gently as she could, because Hermione was very snappish…sometimes, that is.

"But look at this," she pointed to her round belly, and pouted, "just LOOK! The baby will be the death of me. I can't dance, I can't walk an hour straight because my legs and back hurt, and I'm as horny as hell! And I have no one to take care of me," with a huff she took another spoonful of ice-cream and looked out of the window of her bedroom.

"But you are beautiful, and the 'horniness' comes from you being pregnant, that's it," said Emma lightly and looked at her manicured nails.

"One day you'll get pregnant and understand what I'm going through," snapped Hermione.

"Well, thankfully I won't get pregnant, because I can't, there's nothing inside of me that will be the cause that I got pregnant," said Emma and looked at Hermione, with raised eyebrow.

"Of course not! The doctor told me that I can't get pregnant, and now look!"

"But she said you had only three percent of chance to get pregnant, so stop sulking and enjoy your pregnancy, they say it's a very pleasant experience," said Emma and tilted her head to the side to get an affirmation from Kate; she nodded. "There!" said Emma and pointed at Kate.

And like a child, Hermione's mood changed into a very loving and caring and kind mother. She smiled and rubbed a hand on her belly, "It is a very beautiful experience. I can even feel when the baby moves," she then slowly let her hand fall on her lap and look sadly at her belly.

"What's the matter?" asked Emma, cautiously.

"It's just…I wonder, what's he doing now? I haven't seen him…for awhile. I don't even know how he is; I don't even know what happened to him and Tonks…" Hermione sighed and to her horror her emotions got the better of her and her eyes filled with tears, "I don't know what I'm going to do, how I am going to raise the baby without a father…"

Emma and Kate exchanged an uncomfortable look. Kate took Hermione's hand in hers and squeezed it. Hermione looked up when Kate spoke, "Sweetie, you know that we, I mean Sirius, Draco, Harry and Emma told you that we'll be with you the whole time, and you know that we meant it, right?" Hermione gave a small nod, and bit her lip when a small sob left her lips.

Emma moved and sat beside her and gave her one-armed hug, kissed her temple and said, "Of course I won't change the baby's diaper."

Hermione laughed and instantly felt better. She loved her friends; they could make her feel so much better than she was feeling.

There was a knock on the door, and Emma jumped up into her feet with a shout of "Coming!" and in a lower voice she said, "Which I haven't, since like…yesterday morning?"

"Oh…the shock of it must be killing you," said Kate sarcastically, and Hermione giggled as Emma stuck out her tongue at Kate, childishly.

They sat in silence as they listened to Emma's footsteps as she neared the door. And they heard her laugh and say, "Oh I didn't know you were coming, if I knew…I'd get myself look at least a bit descent."

Hermione and Kate looked at one another and they rolled their eyes. They heard a low chuckle and the both of them looked at Hermione's bedroom closed door. A few minutes later, Sirius came in and smiled at them. Kate leaped to her feet and ran towards him; hugging him around the neck and kissing his cheek.

"Hey Sirius," Hermione said and took another spoonful of ice-cream.

"Hey beautiful," said Sirius and walked towards her bed, he leaned in and kissed the top of her head. When he pulled back, Hermione smiled at him, and he sat next to her; Kate and Emma sat at the foot of the bed, looking at them both, a small smile on their faces. "How are you doing? I hope you are fine, because I'm throwing a small party at my place, and I was hoping you'd come too. It's going to be just a small 'friendly' dinner, or something."

"What's the occasion?" asked Emma and tilted her head to the side.

"Draco and Harry finally adopted a little newborn beautiful girl," replied Sirius cheerfully.

"Oh my God, really?" squeaked Kate and grinned at Sirius.

"Yeah," said Sirius, and smiled proudly, "So," Sirius looked at Hermione, "Are you coming or what?"

"I'd love too," said Hermione and smiled again, "but…just to be sure, is _he _going to be there too?"

"I asked him to come too, but I don't know if he will…why? Don't tell me that you won't come because of him," threatened Sirius and narrowed his eyes on her.

"No, no! Of course I'll come, I was just…making sure," said Hermione in a low voice.

Sirius looked at Hermione for a minute, and then looked at Emma and Kate, "How are you two? Will you come too?"

"Yeah," said Emma.

"Sure," smiled Kate and turned to Emma, "Aren't we supposed to be at work already?"

"Yeah, right," said Emma hurriedly and stood up from bed, "We'll see you, later tonight, yeah?"

Sirius and Hermione nodded, and Kate and Emma walked towards them, kissing them good-bye, and with a wave they walked out of the room. They heard the front door closed, Hermione sighed. Stretching, she pulled the bowl of ice cream to her and curled up to Sirius' side; he in turn, hugged her close to him and rested his head on top of hers, as she buried her face at the crook of his neck. Sirius lightly scratched Hermione's kitten's head, and smiling to himself as he heard him purr.

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes, loving the feeling of Sirius hugging her to him; he was so much gentle with her that she almost forgot who it was. She kissed his neck slowly, and heard him sigh beside her. He squeezed her upper arm, when her kiss turned into a suckling. "Hermione," he whispered.

When she heard him say her name, she froze. This was Sirius. Not Remus. With a blush she pulled herself back and averted her gaze from him. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

"Don't be," soothed Sirius, "I just don't want you to do anything that you'll blame yourself later, do you understand?" he tilted her head up by her chin, forcing her to look at him.

Hermione nodded, and said, "Yeah, of course. It's just the hormones, that's all."

"Hermione? Is there anything you want to tell me?" asked Sirius, hesitantly, looking Hermione in the eye.

"No…nothing," she answered hesitantly back, averting her gaze from him.

"There is…tell me…"

Hermione sat in silence and looked up at Sirius once again, "Whatever I'm going to ask you, please don't let anyone know that it's untrue. Ok?"

* * *

><p>Hermione was getting ready to head out already when the doorbell rung again. With a sigh and a huff she heaved herself up from her chair, where she sat to pull her jeans up, she wobbled towards the door. Opening it she smiled brightly as she saw Harry carrying a small bundle of something cloth in his arms, Draco standing just behind Harry, and smiling at her. With a gasp she stumbled forward and moved the cloth off the baby's face.<p>

"Aaawww…" she cooed when she saw the girl baby sleeping soundly in Harry's arms, breathing softly and fast, "Harry, she's so beautiful! And look at her hair! It's…" she blinked and looked at Harry, "It's black! Harry…"

"Wait till you'll see her eyes, I can't even explain what color are they exactly, but…we love it," Harry's voice held so much love that Hermione grinned at the both men with their lovely child. The baby was their adoptive child that they so wanted. She was happy for them, after so many years and months they fought for this moment, and now they got what they were looking for.

"I'm sure you do," Hermione murmured and touched her cheek loving. The baby squirmed under her fingertips. "Come on in," she ushered them into her apartment, and closed the door after them. "Go to the living room, I'll be ready in a minute."

She quickly walked to her room and changed her pyjama shirt into a T-Shirt which said "I love my baby!", she wore her sneakers and stood up from her chair once more, her hair was tousled with laziness of the day so she ran her fingers through it just to make sure that it was more presentable than 'I just got out of the bed', she applied some small make-up and gave her once over, patting her belly, she turned around and walked out of the bedroom.

"I'm ready," she announced as she walked into the living room. The baby was now in Draco's arm who was watching her rather nervously. "You look cute Draco," Hermione teased and walked towards the couple.

"I'm not cute," mumbled Draco, completely smitten by the baby.

"Yeah, right," whispered Harry. He couldn't look away from his love and his new-found love.

Hermione looked at them for a minute longer than clapped her hands together, telling them to move their butts already. As Hermione wobbled her way down the building stairs, listening idly to Harry and Draco talking about what they were going to do with her once they got to Sirius' home, Hermione's own child gave a funny little kick. With a gasp she gripped the railings with one hand, the other automatically moved to her belly, rubbing it smoothly. Hearing her gasp Harry and Draco whipped around and looked up at her.

"Hermione, are you ok?" asked Harry, his voice filled with concern.

"Yeah," she took a deep breath and blew it out, "I'm ok. The baby just kicked really hard, that's all."

The both of them visibly relaxed, and started down the stairs once again, Hermione swallowed and walked down with them. The baby had a real strength in it, and she was starting to agree with her own theory; her baby was going to have a bit of wolf blood in it. The baby's father was a werewolf, so it was obvious that the kid would have something in it, right? Hermione sighed heavily as the cool day's air hit her face.

"Catch a taxi, babe, will you?" said Draco and kissed Harry's temple lovingly. Harry nodded and quickly whistled as a taxi drove right in front of them. He quickly jogged towards it, opened up the door and helped Draco to get in with the baby still in his arms, and then helping Hermione in he closed the door and sat at the front seat of the taxi, giving the driver directions.

Few minutes later, they pulled in front of Sirius' building and walked out of the car. They quickly walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. Seconds later the door was wrenched open and Kate was beaming at them.

"Hi," she said happily and kissed them all on the cheeks as she let them inside. "Oh my God," she squeaked minutes later when she saw the baby, "Harry she is beautiful! Ooohh…" she cooed when the baby gave a small sleepy gurgle and shifted a bit in Draco's arms, holding a fist close to her chin.

"I know, she'll be a smart girl," Draco said affectionately, gazing down at her face lovingly.

"Oh she will," came a voice behind them. Sirius walked towards the small party patting Kate at her back, he looked down at the small bundle and a soft 'oh' left his lips. He, as the others, was completely smitten by her.

The party moved into his living room, Hermione quickly sat on the sofa, sighing happily as her back slowly relaxed. Draco and Harry sat at the love seat; Kate went back to the kitchen to check the chicken again, Sirius walked towards Draco and Harry and indicated that he wanted to hold the baby girl. Draco slowly eased her in Sirius' arms, and Hermione watched, amazed, as his face transpired into one of the loving and caring father figure he could've been, if he had his own children that is. He looked calm, but alert at the same time. He was cool at ease with the baby, careful not to disturb her. "What's her name? Have you decided on the name?" whispered Sirius.

"Well, we decided to call her…Lily," said Draco and looked around nervously.

"That's a beautiful name, guys," said Hermione and smiled as Draco visibly relaxed. He was kind of tense with using his lover's mum's name, after all Harry could get quiet emotional over the subject.

"I agree," came Sirius' low voice, "It will suit her."

Just then the front doorbell rung and Draco walked to open it. There were very familiar voices and Hermione's heart stilled. Part of her knew who it was, part of her wanted nothing more than just get away from here as soon as she could. Her breathing was ragged, her eyes moistened, and her baby was restless in her belly; as if it could sense a very familiar person close by. And sure enough; when Remus walked in to the living room, closely followed by Tonks, and when their eyes met the baby kicked so hard that Hermione's breath nearly left her completely. Her hands instantly flew to her belly and rubbed the place where the baby was kicking restlessly.

"Hermione?" Harry's meek voice sounded distant, as he slowly walked towards her and kneeled in front of her. "Are you alright?" he whispered.

Hermione nodded quickly, though she was not alright, the baby was really, really restless. "The baby is just restless, that's all. And I don't know why," whispered back Hermione and looked at Harry's green eyes, pleading him silently to take her away from the room, as long as she'll get better, they'd come back. She just needed a time alone to herself. Harry nodded and helped Hermione up to her feet.

"Oh," Hermione recognized Tonks' voice at once. "You're pregnant?" there was something in her voice that Hermione didn't like at all.

Hermione feeling tired and exhausted snapped, "Well as it seems so, or are you blind?"

Tonks jaw twitched in anger and she quickly looked at Remus, as if waiting for him to take her side or just to protect her, but Remus was not listening to anything, he was talking to Draco about his daughter. Tonks' whining brought Remus back to earth, and with an eye role from Hermione, her and Harry walked towards the guest room, and shut the door behind them. Hermione quickly walked towards the bed and sat on it. She tried to pull her legs up the bed, but couldn't, so Harry helped her. She smiled in thanks and sighed; the babies kicking and restlessness subsided in a few minutes. Hermione relaxed back and closed her eyes.

"Are you ok now?" asked Harry as he sat beside Hermione, holding her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles lovingly.

"mm…yes, I am. Thanks for bringing me here," murmured Hermione.

"Don't mention it," said Harry and smiled at her when she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Harry, the baby sensed him…Remus," said Hermione.

Harry in turn, furrowed his brow and looked down at their hands, "What do you mean?"

"When Remus got closer to the living room, the baby started to kick so hard as if it could make him feel.

"I wish you'd already know what genre it is," sighed Harry and smiled at Hermione as she beamed, "I hate calling him…or her a baby or it."

"I will Harry, tomorrow."

"That's great!"

"Yeah it is," said Hermione. There was a small knock on the door and Kate's head peaked in.

"Dinner's ready," she said.

"Coming," answered Harry and looked back at Hermione, as Kate left the room, "Are you going to be alright?"

"Sure," said Hermione. She was feeling better after stretching her legs a bit. Two months to go and the baby would be out of her once and for all, and she couldn't wait any longer. She could know what genre the baby could've been, like two months ago, but she didn't want to. But, like Harry said, it was a bit annoying already not to know what genre it was and calling it the baby or _it _was really, really frustrating. And then her thoughts ran back to Remus; he was as always dashing in his simple clothes. His hair was still the same, he still got the manner to himself, he still was awkward, same expression, same everything.

Hermione and Harry made it to the dinner room and as they seated themselves around the table, with horror Hermione realized that she was sitting right in front of Remus. They all started to eat and talk at once, and Hermione helped herself to anything she could reach; what? She was starving and she was pregnant.

And then came that part again; Remus-watching-game. It happened a lot when they were together…she liked just sitting right across from him and stare at his face, as he talked to one of his friends, mostly Sirius, and laughed softly, or just to watch him. His eyes would sparkle when he talked about the things that he most liked; books, or sweets. She knew him by her heart already. She liked the way he formed some words, making them to last a bit longer, and how his mouth would form an 'o' if he heard the latest news. And she knew the slight frown of his lips would only mean a slight discomfort; which was slowly forming on his lips as he turned his head to the side and saw a pink haired witch come and sat at his right side and slipped an arm to his and pecked on his cheek. He threw her a soft smile, though it didn't reach his eyes and she leaned up and whispered something into his ear, he gave a small nod and she smiled brightly up at him. He cleared his throat and all the talking stopped immediately. She knew that whatever he would tell would do no good and especially to her.

"Me and Dora would like to tell you something…important," he said, his voice a tad bit tense, but it seemed that only she could point it out. He cleared his throat again and took Tonks' hand in his, and said, "We decided to get married."

She felt like Nearly Headless Nick decided to take a small trip in her body, and decided to squeeze her heart in his way before leaving her. She felt like her breath had left her all at once, leaving her breathless. She could feel all eyes were on her, as she staggered up from her seat from the table, excused herself, and stumbled out of the dining room. Her eyes and mouth open in shock as the news finally sunk in and her shaking hands made their way to her round belly as she thought of the baby that was growing, steadily, as she made her way towards the front door to get away from there.

She barely made it out of the door when she heard her name calling from behind the closed doors. She quickly descended the stairs and started to walk down the road, not seeing where she was going, breathing heavily from her mouth, almost hysterically.

"Hermione!" it was Sirius. He caught up with her and embraced her tight to his chest.

"I…am…fine…" she gasped out, her hands rubbing her belly fervently trying to sooth the baby.

Sirius cupped Hermione's face in his hands and forced her to look at him, and what made him see there, nearly made his heart break in two. They were mirroring Kate's eyes; lifeless.


	18. Chapter 18

_I hit the 200 review mark. __the amount of reviews left me speechless guys. thank you so much! really! :3  
>enjoy... <em>

**Chapter 18:**

"I have your results right over here," said Doctor Cole as she sat heavily on her chair and shuffled with the papers in front of her. "Granger...Granger…ah, you are right over here," said Cole and pulled out Hermione's papers. "We knew what you were going to have, but we had never told you what you were going to have, because you didn't want to know, right?"

Hermione sat in front of the desk, opposite Doctor Cole, and looked at her with excitement. Today she was going to find out what her child's genre was. Sirius was with her, he wanted to be with Hermione and she did nothing to protest, after all Sirius was a great support for her. Hermione took his hand in hers and felt him squeeze her hand reassuringly.

"Aha… It's a boy," Doctor Cole said and smiled broadly at Hermione, who in her turn smiled back. "And he is…" she blinked in shock, "He is so healthy. I've never seen any heart rate like this. It's wow…it's amazing!" Cole smiled again now in relief and looked at Hermione, "You are looking after yourself quiet well, Hermione. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Hermione replied. She was so happy! It was going to be a boy, and he was healthy. Hermione wanted nothing more than to have his lovely little boy in her arms right now. Her eyes welled up with tears; tears of happiness. She touched her belly lovingly and smiled once again when she felt him move slightly. "I can't tell you how happy I am," she whispered, her voice catching slightly.

"Just enjoy your last weeks as much as you can, and in no time you're going to hug him close to you," whispered back Cole.

Hermione looked at Cole and nodded, smiling softly at her. She stood up and Sirius did the same, helping her to get steadier on her feet. Hermione smiled at him in thanks, and then turned and said goodbye to her doctor and walked out of the office, Sirius following her of course.

"It's a boy Sirius," squeaked Hermione and hugged Sirius close to her.

Sirius squeezed her gently back, as much as he could with Hermione's huge belly, and took a step back admiring her glowing face. "I'm happy for you Hermione," he kissed her cheek, and then added as if an afterthought, "And he is going to be the happiest baby in the world. Who wouldn't? You are going to be a perfect mummy for her, Hermione." Hermione smiled gratefully at him and then she started to cry, naturally. Sirius only shook his head and slung a hand on her shoulder, rubbing her elbow softly they walked out of the hospital to a lovely spring day.

The trees were starting to get their shapes back; it was a very lovely day, and all Hermione wanted to do was to walk down the streets and enjoy the fresh air. Looping an arm with Sirius they started to walk down the streets in a comfortable silence. Hermione was excited; it was a boy. She was so happy that she couldn't fight back the giggles or grins that graced her face every two minutes that she thought about it. He was going to be healthy, happy and the most beautiful boy anyone had ever seen. And she was going to buy him the perfect gifts, he was going to have the perfect bed, and he was going to be loved from his parent. With a jolt she realized just how much his father was going to miss because he had left her…but she couldn't blame him for leaving her, he had his own reasons. He loved another woman, and he didn't know about his son. And he would never know about it, as long as Hermione was concerned.

"Hermione?" Sirius' voice interrupted her _happy_ thoughts.

"mm?"

"Why don't you come back to our world again?" his voice was conversational.

Hermione almost tripped over her own footing. This question completely threw her off guard. "Excuse me?"

"Woah, careful there!" said Sirius and steadied her. "Are you ok?" asked Sirius concerned.

"Yeah, I am," Hermione shook her head and looked at Sirius, "I can't go back to your world, Sirius."

"Our world," Sirius corrected her softly, "And why the hell not?"

"Because I just can't, there will be so many things that I haven't seen for years now, and I'm not an eleven- year- old girl who saw magic the first time in her life and…I just…no, Sirius…I just can't…" Hermione turned around and started walking the opposite way they were actually walking.

"Hermione! Wait!" Sirius called after her, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop walking, and she wished that Sirius would leave her fucking alone! But, of course, he followed her and gently took her hand in his. "Please Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you-"

"You didn't," quickly said Hermione, not looking at Sirius.

"I did. I'm sorry, really," said Sirius sincerely, and the next second he crushed Hermione to his chest and hugged her close.

"Sirius, it's fine really. You didn't upset me, honest," whispered Hermione, her voice getting thicker with each passing second. Damn the hormones. Sirius looked at Hermione sympathetically. Hermione didn't want anyone to look at her like that, so she averted her gaze from Sirius and looked at the walking old couple, which held so much love in their simple hand holding, that Hermione wanted nothing more than to have the same life as they. She cleared her throat and said. "I want to be alone now, Sirius, thanks for keeping me a company."

"Where are you going?" asked Sirius when she started to walk away from him again.

Hermione turned around and started to walk backward, still facing him she just shrugged and turned around and walked again. Where was she going? She really hasn't a slightest idea where, but as long as she was away from the tormenting memories she didn't care.

She walked down the streets and saw a very lovely looking bookstore. She immediately walked inside and started to read the latest books' titles. She loved reading, but the last time she had read anything was…she couldn't remember when it was, and with a jolt she realized that she was craving for some sort of knowledge of the literature. She started to pick random books, not seeing what she was taking, because she didn't care. All she wanted to do was read, and maybe it would help her to relax and for some time she could just…shut the whole real world out and enjoy the fictional world.

By the time she had finished picking out the books, she realized that she was heavily loaded and with wobbly legs she carried them to the counter. The teenage cashier jumped from his seat and moved forward, helping Hermione to place them on the counter. Hermione smiled at the sweet guy in thanks, and asked him politely whether she could use their bathroom. The boy showed her where it was and Hermione hurried to it. When she relieved herself, she took a time to washing her hands and looking at her face in the mirror. She seemed a bit unrecognizable. Her nose was a bit huge and her lips were all round and full, her eyes looked tired, her hair wasn't tamed as much as she liked it to look normal, as it could've been anything but normal, but overall, she looked really tired. If she looked at her more carefully she could see the black bags under her eyes from not sleeping well at nights. She bit her lips in worry and thought, what if she was endangering her baby's life by not sleeping? But then she remembered what her doctor told her, she immediately felt relieved.

Hermione walked out of the bathroom and wobbled her way towards the cash counter and took her books, which she chose to read, though she still didn't know what she'd chosen. She was about to open the door to let herself out when she bumped into someone she didn't thought she'd see. There he was, once again, looking as gorgeous as the sunny spring day outside. He was wearing a white shirt, with its sleeves rolled up to the elbow, under it a light blue shirt, he was wearing faded blue jeans, with worn out sneakers.

Remus Lupin couldn't be more beautiful than he was at that moment.

The baby kicked again, and with a gasp Hermione grabbed her belly, throwing the books down. It hurt so much that Hermione screwed her eyes shut and bit her lip to prevent from making a noise. The kick was vicious, not the kick that one got when she was about to go to the labor. She rubbed her belly to sooth her child, while cooing under her breath. Her legs shaking, she walked back into the bookstore and sat the vacant seat. Remus followed her and when she sat he kneeled in front of her, and shouted for the cashier to bring a glass of water. The teen guy, with trembling hands passed the water to Hermione who greatly drunk it, thanking him after that. Hermione closed her eyes, and Remus asked her with a small, hesitant voice.

"Are you ok, Hermione?" the baby moved inside of her again, but thankfully he didn't kick.

"Yes, yes I'm fine…" whispered Hermione, "He's just…he doesn't know when the playing time is, so he starts kicking and I…" Hermione blushed and looked at her hands on her belly. Remus was smiling slightly in amusement. She was adorable.

Before he could stop him, he asked, "Can I…?" and hesitantly brought his hands up indicating that he wanted to touch her belly.

At first Hermione panicked, she didn't want him to touch her, but then…he was the father, even if Hermione didn't want to feel his hands on her (which was a lie), she couldn't forbade him to touch her belly, feeling his son growing inside of her. So she could do the only thing which was right at the moment, she took his hands in hers, inhaling sharply as she felt an electricity run through her body and fingertips, she placed them lightly on her belly.

The baby started to squirm and kicked softly, Hermione sighed in relief. It didn't hurt, it was…enjoyable. A soft "oh" left Remus' lips as he felt him move. Then Hermione held her breath when he leaned in and placed his ear on her belly, listening closely. She was frozen, and she wanted nothing more than to wound her fingers inside of Remus' sandy hair. But she clenched her hands into fists and only watched him, as he rubbed a hand on her belly and murmuring some things that Hermione couldn't hear, but she knew that it was something nice. Then he frowned, and pulled back abruptly. He looked at her belly for a moment then lifted his gaze up at her; their eyes locked and with a sharp inhale of a breath she realized that...

_He knows…_

They sat there gazing at each other, Hermione's breathing ragged, like she had run a mile. He knows. He knows that the baby inside of hers was actually his…not someone else's as she had planned to tell everyone. But she had to lie to him, in order to protect not only her son, but Remus' relationship with Tonks.

Before anyone could say another word the cashier returned to them, and handed back Hermione's books to her. She quickly took them, thanked him and scrambled up to her feet. She didn't even look back as Remus shouted her name after her, because all she wanted to do was to get away from him, from the mistake that she made ten minutes ago. She was supposed to not let him touch her at all, she was supposed to not let him listen to the baby moving inside of her, but she did and now he knew…and there was no going back.

Later that evening when she was at home, having just taken a shower, wearing her lovely pyjamas to the bed, her cat purring softly at her side, she took the plastic bag which held the books she had purchased and with a surprise she realized that she had taken not a fictional books that she so wanted to read. They were all children's stories, such as; the Beauty and the Beast, Cindrella, the Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and many other small stories. She burst into an uncontrollable giggle of her foolishness, but she was happy with her book 'choices' they were simple, sweet and held a happy endings.

Besides the times she had shared with Remus, Hermione never felt this happy in her whole life.


	19. Chapter 19

_I'm so mad at myself now, I can't even write properly! I accidently saved my last chapter on this one, after yesterday's sleepless night and I have to go and write it again! asdfghjkl! anyways. on with the story..._

_The dress that Hermione's wearing looks like this (found it on google)_: http:/ -fashion-dresses (dot) net /wp-content/uploads /2011/07/19_6_

_The toast that Hermione's toasting in this chapter, isn't mine, it's from Sex and the City Season 2, episode 7.  
>enjoy...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19:<strong>

"No. No, no, no, no! NO!" Hermione shouted and slammed the door shut of her bedroom, breathing heavily.

"Hermione, please!" said Sirius from behind the closed door, pleading with her. "Hermione, it will be over in a few hours. You know you can do it! Please Hermione. You've got to let him go… once and for all…"

"How can you suggest that, Sirius? Are you mental or something? I'm NOT going to attend to that little…party of theirs! And that's final!" yelled back Hermione, rubbing a hand on her belly, and pacing the floor length of the room; after a thought she added, "You can take Kate with you. I don't want to go and that's it!"

"Come on…" she heard Harry moan in the living room, clearly uncomfortable with the whole yelling and throwing of the tantrums.

"Hermione, love, let me in," it was Draco now. Hermione shook her head, as if they could see her, then she shouted "NO!" and heard themselves sigh, then there were footsteps and then silence.

Hermione shook as she took another deep breath, trying to calm not only her but her baby too. It was a month later from her little 'encounter' with Remus at the bookstore, and today she got the worst letter of her whole life…ever. It was a letter that held the invitation of Remus and Tonks' wedding. And well, technically it was Sirius who got it, and they invited him and a 'guest', so Sirius thought it would be smart enough to get Hermione go with him. She being the smart one of them all was clearly declining Sirius' pleas and was refusing to go out of her bedroom, or home that is. And she was refusing to go to the stupid wedding party.

Hermione sighed and plopped down on her bed, she grimaced a bit as her back started to hurt. She shifted a bit and lay down on. She sighed as she felt a pleasing sensation on her back, and smiled a bit, she started to rub a hand on her belly; the baby stopped squirming now. Hermione's smile widened as she remembered in what state she was in now. She still had a month to go and then her little boy would be welcomed to the world and into his mum's waiting arms.

Her smile vanished from her face when there was a knock on the door, and the baby started to squirm again.

"Sshh, sweetheart. It's alright, mummy's here. Nobody's going to hurt you…sshh," murmured Hermione to her belly, talking to her son. She knew she might sound stupid, but she loved talking to him; sometimes at nights, when Hermione couldn't sleep, she'd sit in her bed and start telling him stories. Strange things would happen in her small talks; he would kick or squirm, and Hermione would smile softly. But now wasn't exactly pleasant sensation feeling him moving restlessly. Clearly uncomfortable about something, that his mum didn't like. If his mum didn't like what was happening on the outside world, then he wouldn't like it either.

Hermione sighed and started to move, trying to sit up against the headboard of her bed, or just to sit up or do something. She started to take deep breaths; in and out, in and out; trying to calm not only her but him too. She let out a frustrated sigh and fell back against her pillows again; the baby was kicking viciously. What was really happening? She could take the pain any more, when he kicked really hard she screamed. She distinctly heard some shouts from the closed door.

"Damn it Hermione! Open the God damned door!" Harry yelled and slammed on the door with a fist.

"Calm down Harry," said Sirius sharply, though he was ready to blast that door off in a beat if Hermione wouldn't open the door.

"Oh move over, you two," drawled Draco and moved in between the other two frantic wizards. He pointed his wand at the door and said, "Alohomora," the door clicked open and he turned around at the wizards and said, "and people call you noble wizards. My arse." He sneered at them and stalked inside the bedroom.

The three boys walked into the room, to find Hermione breathing heavily, her hands restless on her. "He is…he kicks so…he is too strong for me…" she breathed out and closed her eyes heavily.

"Hermione, love? Are you in labor or something?" Sirius asked and run a hand on Hermione's forehead.

"No, I don't think so…he is just…he is upset, because of something…" said Hermione and breathed slowly out. She inhaled then exhaled, closing her eyes. She did this several times, then her eyes snapped open and she stopped breathing. "What are you doing?" she asked her eyes watching the boys, who all mumbled something under their breaths. They were all inhaling and exhaling with Hermione, making the same noises as she did. At first she thought it was her she was hearing, but then in a close observation she realized that it was the boys' noises too. She stifled a giggle when they flushed crimson and looked uncomfortable.

Draco was the first one to recover from their brief 'embarrassment' "Are you really ok, now?" Hermione nodded and smiled. "So…why don't you agree with Sirius? We are going to be there too."

"Because I don't want to see him…"

"You don't want to see him or you _think_ that you don't want to see him?" asked Harry, softly.

Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion and gave a small thinking of her…thoughts. She knew that she couldn't see him dressed up for the celebration and she was sure she would break if she saw him looking smashingly good in black robes that she knew all wizards wore on their wedding day. Was she ready to face him? Would it be the last time she had to see him?

Yes…she knew she could see him, at least from far…and yes, she was ready to let him go…but then again, she was carrying his child. She unconsciously touched her belly, then with slow hands she moved her shirt over her very round stomach, registering the fact that the boys all cooed in unison, making a move to touch her belly at the same time. Her lips curved into a small smile as she felt her baby squirming happily inside of her, liking the contact from the boys, and it really was a very comfortable sensation. For a moment she just lied there and let them touch her belly…Sirius moved in and pressed his ear on her stomach, chuckling slightly, his breath ghosting over Hermione's skin, making Hermione to shiver lightly. Hermione watched as her boys adored her exposed stomach and then she sighed as she remembered that they were supposed to talk about the wedding, which would start in a few hours. Let Sirius be the reasonable one and tell Hermione weeks before this day. But of course not, he had to tell her the exact same day as the wedding's. Hermione shook her head, yet again and sighed.

"I don't have anything to wear…" she said abruptly.

The three of them jumped at Hermione's voice. She bit back a smile as the three of them gaped at her like a fish. This time it was Sirius who snapped back into reality, and he offered her a small grin of his.

"Don't worry kitten, I will think of something," said Sirius, and at the mention of kitten Hermione's small kitty jumped on the bed, and started to purr almost instantly. Harry chuckled at the small one, and started to play with him. "Meanwhile, you go take shower with Draco, don't look at me like that boy, and me and Harry will do come out with an idea of what you could wear."

"Why me?" bristled Harry.

"Because, you are gay," answered Sirius calmly.

"But that doesn't mean that I have a taste in women clothes. I don't even wear descent clothes myself," cried out Harry.

"But then how come that you're descent now?" asked Sirius, quirking up an eyebrow.

"It's all me," said Draco and winked. Hermione and Sirius erupted into fits of laughter, as Harry started to mumble something under his breath. Draco grinned, but leaned in and kissed Harry's pouted lips.

"OK, that's settled then," said Sirius and jumped to his feet. "Harry you help Hermione to take a shower, and me and Draco will come with something sexy and descent for Hermione to wear."

"Sirius!" warned Hermione, as she heard him utter the word 'sexy'.

"What, love? You're going to attend to wedding with me. You have to look smashing," he winked at her and strutted towards the bedroom door, but he turned around said, "and remember, you are bearing my kid inside of you, kitten."

Hermione only smiled at him, feeling a knot forming in her stomach as she saw his joyful face of the fact that he was going to be called 'dad' by the small boy. She hadn't had the heart to tell him about her small meeting with Remus the other day, and the fact that he knew about the fact that he was the father of the unborn child. Hermione sighed as Harry helped her on her legs and walked with her to the bathroom, helping her to get undressed and turning on the faucet to fill the bath with warm water.

* * *

><p>The music which was playing at the wedding was getting on Hermione's nerves. She never was a fan of classics, especially the ones that were filled with too much violin's high notes. The place where the party was going at the full force was decorated with purple and white colors; lots of balloons at the every corner of the room, and bows which were charmed to glow white at every ten seconds. Overall, it wasn't that bad, but it was full of magic, and Hermione lightly shivered when she stepped through the door with Sirius as her escort. She was absolutely stunning. Draco had come with something long for her to wear; it was aqua-marine color, strapless, with flowing length of silk dress, and on it was chiffon, with the same length as the dress; it had a bow right in the middle of her breasts, the ledge of the bow flowed down on either side of her round stomach. When she walked the silk and chiffon fabric all but flew right after her; she wore a light make up, with red lipstick, her hair was mused. She looked beautiful and 'sexy as hell' as Sirius said when he saw the final results.<p>

Now, Sirius held his head high, looping an arm with Hermione, walking with sure confident strikes of long legs. Hermione was glowing, and Sirius was happy with his decision of bringing her with him.

They found their table, and Sirius helped Hermione into her seat, Harry and Draco came next and sat right next to them. Sirius went and fetched drinks for them and Hermione gratefully sipped the cold pumpkin juice, the taste melting right on her tongue. It was so long since she had something as sweet as this juice, and she asked Sirius for a re-fill, which was met with his flirtatious wink and bringing the mug closer to her. Finding some odd sort of a relaxation from the drink, Hermione sat and surveyed the room once again. Half of the guests were witches and wizards she never saw in her life_. Maybe new friends of theirs,_ she thought idly.

The door of the hall banged open and everyone sprung to their feet and started to clap. Hermione remained sitting where she was, her eyes zeroing down on the groom. He was breath-taking. He had a muggle black tux on, his hair tousled; he held himself at ease and smiled politely to every guest, nodding at few of them. Hermione's stomach fluttered; her brow furrowing, anxiety looming over her heart. The lights deemed and the both of them stationed themselves for a dance.

The music began and they started the dance.

Hermione could see the outline of the bride's dress, but she paid no attention to her, her eyes still on Remus. He was, with one word, glowing. Hermione swallowed hard and looked at her hand on her lap, trying to will down her emotions which were desperately trying to escape her in a form of tears. A hand was placed on her twirling hands. She looked up and saw Sirius watching her from the corner of his eye. Hermione smiled softly, loving the comfort that he was silently giving her. She released one of hands, placed it at the crook of Sirius' neck and brought his face closer to hers. She kissed him softly on the lips, a silent 'thank you'. He kissed him back with equal care and softness, not rushing the kiss, not trying to make it more passionate. Just a small chaste kiss on the lips, that was all to it.

The music ended, the dance stopped, and everyone applauded again, while the bride and the groom walked towards their seat at the head of the hall.

The party was well in full swing when Hermione excused herself from Sirius in order to go and use the bathroom. One or two times the baby kicked her viciously, but Hermione only thought it was because of the closeness of his father. Hermione wobbled her way towards the women's bathroom, and opened the door. She sighed in relief when she saw that it was empty. She walked to one of the cubicles and relieved herself, when she was about to go and wash her hands, the door of the bathroom was pulled open and in came Tonks. Hermione stayed in her cubicle, not wanting to meet the bride. At all.

"I'm so tired already," she heard Tonks say in a whiny tone.

"It'll be over in an hour or two, don't worry," said a second voice that Hermione did not recognize.

"I told him I didn't want to have a party like this, but he insisted on. Inviting his friends and family members," Tonks bit out through clenched teeth.

"You can't blame him, he wanted to share his happiness with his friends, and he is doing just that."

"But I haven't seen him since we danced together, where the fuck is he?"

"I don't really know…"

"Did you see that Hermione?" Hermione's breath hitched and she stilled to hear what he was going to say. "Got herself knocked up by Sirius. Who would've thought?"

"Don't talk like that about her, she is really nice," said the second voice that still was unfamiliar to Hermione, it could've been one of Tonks' friends.

"Shut up, you don't know anything about her. Don't you dare to tell me that she's nice? You don't know her well enough. She is a slut and a whore who is earning money by opening up her legs for anyone who has ten inch dick."

Hermione gritted her teeth and not thinking of what she was doing, she wrenched open the cubicle door, revealing herself to the bride.

"Got anything else to tell me Nymphadora? Or are you going to strut around the Hall and leaving false information about me?" said Hermione, trying to keep her voice steady. Her baby was restless and she wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of the party and go home as soon as she could.

"Why, fancy seeing you here Granger," said Tonks, a small evil smile gracing her face. "Tell me Grangy, who's the father of the child? Or did you lost counts of with whom you've been, not remembering who _the one_ was?"

"I'll have you let you know that the father of my son is someone that you really know very well, now," said Hermione clenching her teeth with so much force that her head hurt, not wanting to reveal the real father of her son. She shook her head, and did not even hear what Tonks wanted to say, as she bolted out of the bathroom and smacking right in front of Remus. Hermione's heart came to a full stop, her breath leaving her at once, her whole frame started to shake and she could feel mad butterflies in her belly. He still had that effect on her, and she hated him for that. Hermione pursed her lips in frustration and with a shake of her head she skipped Remus and walked towards the exit to the balcony. She could hear him yell after her, but she did not stop. She didn't want to talk to him; she came here tonight to accompany Sirius for the wedding of his best friend, and to give Remus her best luck for the rest of his life.

The cool night's air was a relief for Hermione, and she took a grateful sigh of relief as she relaxed to the soft breeze of the wind. She wanted to be left alone and as she sensed him moving closer to her, Hermione shook her head, hating for still making her squirm by his presence, yet again. She was about to tell him to leave her alone, but warm arms were wrapped around her from behind, somewhat unfamiliar to her.

"Sirius," Hermione breathed, relaxing into his embrace, tilting her head to the side and resting her face to the crook of his neck.

"Are you alright love?" murmured Sirius, tightening his hold on her when she shook her head. "Do you want to go home?"

There was something soothing in the way that Sirius asked her to go home, it was like an un-voiced promise to her, that he'll stay with her tonight. And she wanted that. She wanted him to stay with her tonight, to hold her and comfort her grieving heart. But she had something in her mind that she wanted to accomplish now, before going home, to her own little world full of misery.

"I have to do something."

* * *

><p>Everyone applauded as the wedding organizer announced that one of the friend's of the bridal party wanted to toast them. Hermione stood on her shaky legs with Sirius at her side. Despite the fact that Sirius was holding her arm helping her to walk, as she made her way to the microphone, she could only think one thing...dead woman walking. She cleared her throat before stepping a bit closer to the microphone and waited for the applause to die away a bit. She could see Harry and Draco watching her from where they sat the both faces anxious. She looked at Tonks, seeing her hard face, and then she shifted her gaze on the handsome groom. When she spoke her words were directed to him, piercing him with her eyes to his place, preventing him to move a slight inch.<p>

"His halo, was the end of her endings,

Her laugh was their first step down the isle,

His hand would be hers, to hold forever,

His forever was as simple as her smile,

He said 'she was what was missing'

She said 'instantly she knew'

She was a question to be answered,

And ... His answer was...I do"

Her eyes brimmed with tears and she had no choice, as everyone went wild and started to applause her toast, but to embrace the moment and try to pass off the tears as tears of joy for the happy couple. Hermione made her way unsteadily towards Sirius, hugging him to her.

"Get me out of here," Hermione's voice broke as she whispered to him. And he only nodded and helped her to the exit as soon as she could. She could feel his sad gaze on the back of her skull, but she had no choice but to walk out of the Hall, her head held high.

When they were well out of the front doors of the building, Hermione skidded to a halt her hand flying to her belly. Her breath hitched as the baby kicked again, this time with full force. She could hear concerned Sirius asking her if she was alright, but all she did was screaming at the top of her lungs. And then there was water…lots of it.

"Sirius," she moaned, then took a deep steadying breath and then forced out the word through her clenched teeth, "I think my water just broke!" at Sirius' blank face she snapped, "I'm having a baby! Damn it!"

* * *

><p><em>by the way, there's one more chapter and we are done with this story too. sad I know. I can't believe that I've finished it :_


	20. Chapter 20

_alas, it's here! the final chapter to a beautiful story. it was, wasn't it? This was really beautiful and I think I might read it someday again. I adore this story. really I do. and I have received so many positive reviews and my readers...Gods! you guys rock! you really do! I love you all and hopefully you'll still be here with me when I'll start my new Drarry story in a few months time!_

_so, with a light and also with heavy and tearful heart I present you the last chapter of my lovely story..._

_enjoy it lovelies..._

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><p><strong>Chapter 20:<strong>

They were at hospital for hours now. Draco was sitting on the waiting room's chair, looking at Harry who was anxiously pacing the floor and was cursing under his breath. Thankfully, there were in the small room, and no one could hear Harry's rather colorful words. Draco was feeling tired and he was really, really worried about Hermione, but Harry's constant swearing was getting on his nerves.

"Harry, will you calm yourself down already? You are getting on my nerves!" snapped Draco at Harry.

"Shut it Draco, you don't know a thing! She's been there like forever! Is it that hard…that long to get the baby out of you?" said Harry and looked at Draco intently, desperately searching for an answer that might help him to calm down.

"I don't know Harry; I've never given a birth to anyone, being a boy and all," drawled Draco, and stood up walking towards Harry and cupping his face, looking deep into his endless emerald green eyes, "But I can tell you this, Hermione is a strong woman. She can get through this and you have to be strong for not only her, but for her baby boy too. After all, she's going to need our help too to raise him, right?"

Harry looked at Draco and felt a big surge of passion and uncontrolled love towards the blond haired git, as he said those words. "I love you," whispered Harry and cupped Draco's face in his hands, bringing him down for a kiss. "I love you, I love you, I love you," mumbled Harry between heated kisses.

Their moment together was cut short, as the doors to the waiting room burst open and in walked a drunk and messy Remus Lupin. His eyes were wide and he was breathing hard.

"D-did I miss anything? Is she alright? How's the baby?" he asked this in one breath.

"What are you doing here Remus?" asked Harry, his eyes wide with shock. Seeing Remus like this was shocking for him.

"I…I..." Remus didn't know how to answer to Harry's question. He sighed and then sat at the chair cradling his face in his hands he took calming deep breaths. "I came here tonight Harry because I wanted to check something…"

"What exactly are you going to check?" asked Draco, his voice a bit harsh. Harry frowned at his tone, but didn't prevent him from sounding a bit rude.

"That's…that's not something I want to talk about with you at the moment Draco," replied Remus, still not looking at them.

"Then you should leave. Hermione wouldn't want you to be here tonight! And by the way, if it escaped your notice, Remus, you've been married. To Tonks. And you should be there, not here! Does she even know that you are here?" said Draco heatedly.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tell you why I am here, nor if Tonks knows where am I now. Alright?" calmly said Remus.

Harry grabbed Draco's arm and squeezed it, shaking his head at Draco, preventing him from talking to Remus at all, he said "I think it's best for you to live now Remus. I know that you want to be here, but it's best for you to live. You've hurt Hermione enough already and if she knew that you've been here, it might upset her more."

"But Harry…I have to be here tonight, in order to find out if I was right in my misgivings," said Remus and looked up at Harry, "and I was…then I'd be forever cursed for choosing the wrong."

Harry looked at Remus hard, ignoring the disbelief snort that left Draco's lips. Something was telling him that Remus had a real important reason to be here tonight, and he did the only thing he could; nodded his agreement and letting Remus stay with them.

"Are you mad?" Draco asked him as they sat at the far end of the room, beside each other.

"No, I'm not. I'm doing the right thing here. Draco, don't you understand? In this whole mess, Hermione isn't the only one that has been hurt. Remus was, is hurt. Don't you think the only way he can relax is him being here tonight? Seeing his son for the first and dare I say, last time before Hermione will take him away forever from him?"

"Harry, I know what you mean, but don't you think it's still not fair to Hermione doing this?"

"Nothing is fair to the either party at the moment, Draco. And imagine this whole mess in reverse; what if it was us in their places?" Draco shuddered at the thought. "What if it was us being separated by something that we couldn't possibly prevent from happening?"

"I'm thanking the God's above that you've made your move on me, because I couldn't possibly go and marry with Astoria, not loving her and all. Being miserable for the rest of my life and not knowing love," said Draco, a small smile curving at his lips. "And the fact that I was craving for your attention all these years and now us being here means a lot to me, Harry. And I see what you mean by saying that. I couldn't afford me to be staying away from you and not being hurt in the progress."

Harry smiled at him in return and hugged Draco close to him, "Thank you for being understanding, Draco. I know it's hard for you, but you'll have to give him a chance just for a few hours, and after that you can go and hate him again."

Draco laughed softly and kissed Harry's head.

* * *

><p>"He is healthy and a beautiful baby boy that I've ever seen in my whole life!" this was the first sentence that Sirius said as he burst into the waiting room, arousing the occupants of the room awake.<p>

"What?" asked Harry sleepily and blinked several time to squint at Sirius's beaming face. Then his eyes widened and he and Draco scrambled up to their feet, "She had the baby? Oh my God!"

"She had the baby…" whispered Draco, as if he couldn't believe that it actually happened. After all these years of crying and hurting and pain, she had finally produced a child. He was shocked. He had to see her with his own eyes to make sure that he wasn't imagining things. "We have to see her," Harry nodded and took Draco's hand in his. Sirius smiled at them and told them where she was; they took off immediately.

Sirius snorted under his breath and turned around, finding him looking at Remus's bloodshed eyes. He had been crying, and he was still crying. Sirius sighed and walked towards his friend, sitting right beside him; he took Remus in his arms and held him as he cried again.

"He is mine, Sirius…he is mine… I've a baby…" whispered Remus, between small whimpers of tears and crying.

"I know Remus, my old friend, I know. But why are you torturing yourself so, hm?" murmured Sirius, and held him incredibly tight to him, not wanting to let go of him yet, not till he was sure he wouldn't break into pieces.

"I j-just wanted to be sure, if he was mine or not…and I can feel that he is mine…" mumbled Remus at the crook of Sirius's neck, sniffling.

Sirius sat there for a moment, and without thinking about it twice he said, "Would you like to see him?"

Remus pulled back sharply and looked at Sirius with wide eyes, "W-what? S-see h-him?"

Sirius nodded and smiled at his friend's hopeful face. Remus swallowed hard and thought about it. He could see his son; he could hopefully hold him for a minute or two, maybe for the first and last time. And he could even…_no, don't even go there!_ He scolded himself as he thought that he could see Hermione too, but he couldn't. Hermione would kill him. She even would kill him if she knew that he had been here tonight. It wouldn't do well, if she knew about it. He'd hurt her again. And he didn't want it to happen.

"She won't know…" Sirius whispered as if reading his friend's silent battle of the will. "Come on," said Sirius and stood up, offering a helping hand to pull Remus up on his legs.

* * *

><p>Remus immediately knew which one was his. They were currently standing in the hallway before a glass window, watching the small squirming pink and blue bundles' of the babies. A small wondrous smile graced his scarred face as he saw his son wide awake squirming this and that way, eyes wide, finger moving this and that way, mouth opening and closing, kicking with his small chubby feet. The nurse came and inspected him; she took him in her arms, and walked him towards the small table for the babies, quickly changing his diapers she walked into the next room, which Remus couldn't see. He got worried. He turned around to ask Sirius where did they took him to find that he was alone in the hallway, where was he? After a moment of looking back into the room and down the hall, he watched as Sirius's head poked out of the door next to this room, and indicated Remus to come to him.<p>

Remus, puzzled slightly, walked towards Sirius. Sirius moved to the side and let him go in. His baby was there, in the arms of the nurse that came and took him. He stopped in mid-walk and just watched his son in the arms of a stranger.

"Go on," he heard Sirius urge him forward and he did. Walking slowly to the rock-chair at the side of the room he sat on it and the nurse placed his son into his arms. The baby stopped squirming, a small gurgle leaving his small lips.

Remus looked at his son, his face akin to the one of a wonder. The baby in one word was gorgeous. He was chubby, with small amount of hair, and when he opened his eyes they were brown. His mother's… A small tear escaped Remus's eye as he watched his son, closing his eyes, getting a bit comfortable in his father's arms, and sleeping. Remus started to rock back and forth in his chair, gazing at his son, taking every little change that the baby was showing to him, marking it all in his mind. He looked up and saw that Sirius was watching him, his eyes sad and happy at the same time. Remus nodded his head and a silent thank you, which Sirius waved away with the motion of his head. Remus understood the gesture; he did not need to thank his friend. He could only give him this small precious moment, and that was it.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but the nurse came an hour ago and took the boy from him in order to take him to his mum. Remus sat there and cradled his face into his hands, thinking of what a big mistake he had done of marrying to Tonks. He could have this sweet moment with Hermione now, not feeling guilty for breaking the unspoken rules him and Hermione had. He was feeling guilty that he was going to keep this a secret from Hermione. He wasn't feeling a small amount of guilt towards Tonks, because in a way, it was her fault too. She had come back to his life, declaring that they could start over; they could have the perfect life. But he was positive that they wouldn't have it… at all.

* * *

><p>Hermione was sleeping when Sirius walked in to her room, the baby's crib was at her side close to her own bed, which was sleeping too. Something stirred inside of his heart at the sight of them both sleeping together. This was technically his family. Kate would understand him completely, after all they were friends. People might think that they were together, but they weren't, they understood each other more only by staying friends, and nothing else. And Remus's words kept ringing inside of his head. <em>"Take care of her, of them Sirius…" <em>In some odd way Remus was giving Sirius a permission to be with Hermione, in what way he desired.

He shrugged off his jacket, took off his shoes and crawled in bed beside Hermione, spooning her from behind. She stirred and turned slightly blinking up at Sirius she mumbled sleepily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to be with you Hermione."

"With me?" asked Hermione, puzzled.

"Yes, with you. I'll be there with you. I'll be always with you," he murmured to her, caressing her cheek with his finger. He couldn't help but admire the way she turned her face into his touch, kissing his palm and sighing contently.

"Kiss me…" Sirius complied immediately, not thinking about it twice. The first touch of their lips was quite euphoric. It was gentle and caring, almost…loving. Hermione kissed him back with the equal gentleness, not hurrying it, not trying to make it more passionate. Hopefully they would have time for that kind of kiss in the future. The kiss ended with a small sigh of relief from the both parties and they turned into each other, Sirius holding Hermione tight to his chest, and between small pecks of kisses sleep took them over to a relaxing slumber.

* * *

><p>As Remus Apparated in front of his small shabby cottage he couldn't stop the memories running wild in his head; the moment Hermione first came to him, the moment when they made wild love in his bed, the moment she told him about her past, the moment they had a lazy day in his bed, them having breakfast, taking shower having a hot steamy sex in the way, having a mud fight in his garden, reading books together by the fire, creating their baby…<p>

Nathaniel Jasper Granger. That was his name; his son's name. Sirius told him Hermione chose them because she thought that the baby was a gift of God for her, and she was going to worship him as if he was a treasure; which he was indeed. A gift from God; so apparently Hermione didn't hate him as he thought she did, because he was sure that she'd name his son a normal name with no meaning to it all, but he was wrong, once again he was wrong.

Remus closed his eyes as he neared the door; he could smell someone else inside of his house. She did not have the same scent as Hermione had. It wasn't as sweet as hers. It was a bitter smell, which he did not like. Remus inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to will his breaking heart to subside its frantic beating, his emotions overwhelmed his senses and he crumbled to the floor and started to sob quietly into his hands. He had failed it. He had destroyed his life. He had given her to his best friend. He had lost the love and family that he so wanted to have, and he had to find it now in the hands of a woman that he did not love.

And he welcomed the pain that rippled through him like a sharp knife, welcomed the hurt, he was familiar to it. He curled up into a ball, right in front of his front doors, numbness and sorrow quickly exhausting him into a deep and restless sleep to the night's cold air.

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><p><em>*sob* FIN!<em>


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